


Montage Motion

by faiczn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Filmmakers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Or at least slower than any of my other stories, Past Relationship(s), Renjun and Jeno are Writers, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, background markhyuck, past Nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 48,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27038917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faiczn/pseuds/faiczn
Summary: Huang Renjun only had one more year in Seoul to make it in the film industry before he had to move back to his country. He couldn't afford to say no to the offer to work and live with the ever elusive, famed screenwriter, Lee Jeno, even if everything surrounding it feel shady as fuck.Absolutely nothing would go wrong, or at least, that was what Renjun thought.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 72
Kudos: 223





	1. Truth and Assumption

**Author's Note:**

> After writing Dreamies as designers, somehow I want to write them as filmmakers now. I tried to research it as best as I can, but if I get anything wrong, do let me know. Most of the story would just revolve around Renjun and Jeno hole up in Jeno's house, writing a screenplay though.
> 
> Renjun and Donghyuck are 24 years old in here. Both Jeno and Mark are 30 years old. I made Jeno and Mark older to give them years of experience in the industry ahead of Renjun, but I do like how Renjun has to call Jeno 'hyung' here hehe.
> 
> I haven't decided about the rating yet, so I'll update it later. The first few chapters would be pretty tame, though. I will let you know if things got a little wilder later.
> 
> Anyway, enough of me babbling, I hope you enjoy it.

“Noona, we’re ready,” Renjun told Yerim who was still checking the camera angle on the viewfinder.

“Ok, call it,” Yerim nodded.

“Stand by!” Renjun yelled and clapped his hands loudly.

The makeup artist hurriedly finished the touch-up and checked the actor’s face one more time before walking out of the shot. The actor warmed up his voice quickly and nursed his expression back to match the somber tone of the scene. A hush fell over the entire film crew, preparing for the shot.

“Roll sound! Roll camera!” Renjun threw a glance at the sound director then the cameraperson who both nodded at him.

“Action!” Yerim called.

They were in the middle of a shooting of a short film titled Heroes. This was take four of the last scene of the day and everyone was on edge, couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be done. 

Ranjan watched the actor roll on the ground, then looked up at the sky, looking like he was dead inside. His lips quivered a little and the corner of his eyes moistened with tears. He raised his arm to cover his face and took a couple of deep breaths. When he put down his arms, there was no trace of sadness on his face, just determination.

Yerim leaned closer to the viewfinder, holding her breath while she waited for a couple of seconds while the camera focused on the actor’s face.

“Cut! Yes, that was great!” Yerim nodded and raised her thumb. “That’s a wrap for today everyone! Thank you!”

Yerim called the actor over and they reviewed the shot together, while Renjun gave the production assistant a thumb up so everyone could start packing things up.

“Renjun-ah!” Mark waved at him so they could discuss the shooting schedule for tomorrow. One of the actors would only be available in the afternoon, so they decided to change the order of scenes to shoot to accomodate his schedule.

It took two hours to pack all the cameras and lighting. By the time, Renjun and Yerim climbed onto Mark’s car to go back to the city, they were one of the last crews to leave the site. Thankfully, he didn’t have to drive today, so he could just relax on the passenger seat.

“You okay?” Yerim asked while Mark drove the car away.

“Yeah, just tired,” Renjun grimaced, leaning back to the seat.

“Just three more days, don’t you give up on me.”

“Yes, noona.”

They arrived at the production company office two hours later, neither of them had the energy to talk while they helped unload all the tools from the car back to the storage room.

The company was called Resonance Pictures which recently got the spotlight after their first feature film, Ether, received critical acclaim both locally and internationally. Renjun threw a glance at Mark who was standing beside him. Sometimes, Renjun couldn’t believe the same person who directed the film and now produced Yerim’s film, still carrying cameras around with him, a mere assistant director.

Renjun’s phone rang with a call from his mom while they were still tidying up, so he excused himself and got out of the room to take the call.

“Yes, ma?” Renjun sighed, slumping on the bench on the hallway while he talked.

“Will you go home for the new year?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know yet, it’s still almost two months away,” Renjun shrugged even though mom couldn’t see him.

“Because we want to go to Bali if you’re not coming,” Mom said quickly. The news got on Renjun’s nerves immediately, because it was mom’s classic move, beating around the bush.

A few deep breaths helped reign down his simmering temper, but he was still annoyed when he said, “Just tell me I don’t need to come, it’s easier.”

“A Jun,” Mom sighed impatiently.

“I’m still in the middle of a film shooting. I don’t know yet what’s my schedule after this,” Renjun answered her previous question, ignoring her warning. “Also, I don’t know if I can afford the plane ticket.”

“You should just go back home if you work that hard and still can’t afford a plane ticket,” Mom repeated herself and Renjun regretted even listening to her.

“You know it would be completely the same if I move back to China.”

“Yeah, but at least you’re in your home country.”

“We talked about this so many times already,” Renjun was too exhausted to argue about this shit for the nth time.

“Just promise me you’ll come back if nothing changes in a year,” Mom reminded him again. That was the deal between him and mom when he graduated almost a year ago. Two years of staying in Seoul for his attempt to make it in the country’s film industry.

“Alright, don’t need to remind me every single time,” Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Just let me know, okay? About the new year.”

“Okay, ma.”

Renjun hung up the phone after promising to call. He went back inside to help, but they were already finished. Yerim circled her arm around Renjun’s shoulder and led their way out. 

“Dinner?” Mark asked. Yerim nodded her head, expecting Mark to offer buying dinner. “Should we go together, then? I’m going to that Chinese place.”

“Let’s go!” Yerim nodded immediately. She turned her head to Renjun and asked, “Do you have anywhere to be?”

“No,” Renjun answered at once, hoping for Mark to ask him to tag along.

“You should come with us, then,” Mark chirped. Renjun tried to be nonchalant about it, even though he was completely giddy on the inside. Sure, they had been working together for about a month in this film, but they never really talked beyond work or small talks in the company events. Now, he was having dinner with Mark Lee. He couldn’t wait to tell Donghyuck about this.

The restaurant was deserted when they arrived, too early for dinner. They chose a table in the corner and told Renjun to order since, well, since he was Chinese.

“So, how is your new film coming along?” Yerim asked Mark after they were done with their order, making Renjun’s ears perk up with curiosity. 

“Late,” Mark scoffed. “Jeno’s deep in the writer's block.”

Lee Jeno wrote Ether’s script and won Best Screenplay in Baeksang for it this year. Renjun heard Mark and Jeno were best friends since their university days, that was why they worked so well together.

“I thought you're supposed to be in the pre-production stage already?” Yerim raised her eyebrows.

“The script isn’t even finished yet,” Mark sighed. “Johnny hyung told me to find a writing assistant for him.”

“Renjun is a great writer,” Yerim suddenly said, surprising Renjun himself. “He wrote Midnight Sun, you know, that film you liked in Jeonju Film Fest last year?” 

Midnight Sun was his first film out of the university, about a son who found out his father who lived at the opposite side of the country had an accident and his struggle to get home.

They shot it with only five crews. Most of them were broke and they had no money or proper tools, so they shot the entire thing with only one camera and one actual actor which was Donghyuck. Against all odds, the film was shortlisted and screened at the film festival. Renjun got this very job at Resonance Pictures because of it.

“Oh yeah? I love that film!” Mark’s eyes twinkled with wonder as he turned to look at Renjun. It made him blushed with a mix of embarrassment and excitement. “The script was really smart too, the obstacles he encountered on his travel as a metaphor on his relationship with his dad. Amazing.”

Renjun felt like he was about to combust with joy and pride. An upcoming young director he really looked up to was out here complimenting the low-budget short film he wrote while he was drunk a year ago.

“Thank you,” Renjun managed to croak out.

“Can I read the script?” Mark asked.

“Of course,” Renjun was breathless, nodding enthusiastically. “I can… I can email it to you right now.”

Yerim chuckled beside him, amused with how nervous Renjun was. The encouraging smile didn’t leave Mark’s lips as he checked the email Renjun sent him, being as kind as everyone said he was.

“So, what are you going to work on after this film?” Mark asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Renjun answered.

Mark smiled as he said, “Let me read your script first and we’ll figure it out.”

“Okay,” Renjun beamed happily.

The rest of the dinner was uneventful but Renjun was still buzzing with excitement hours later, when he locked himself inside the tiny semi-basement room he rented in the small alley behind the office.

Renjun let Donghyuck know about the whole exchange as fast as he could, but he got no answer yet. Renjun did not wait and chose to sleep instead. The gossip would have to wait until tomorrow.

*

The last three days of shooting of Heroes was grueling, especially because it rained on the last day and they had to wait for hours until they could start shooting again. Renjun collapsed on the following day, did not even come out of his room for a whole day except for picking up his food deliveries and bathroom breaks.

Mark hit him up the next day, asking for a meeting. In less than two hours, Renjun already settled in the small meeting room in the office, wearing his best outfit and even a little makeup because he was still pale from fatigue.

“How do you take your coffee?” was the first question Mark asked as soon as he stepped into the room. Renjun was on his phone when he came, taken aback by his sudden question.

“With milk and sugar,” Renjun answered dazedly.

“Iced or hot?”

“Hot.”

“Okay.”

Mark walked out of the room and went back with two mugs of coffee. Renjun stood up right away, awkwardly hovered behind him, wanting to help but didn’t know how.

“Hyung, I should be the one who makes you coffee,” Renjun was already nervous, but now he outright broke into a cold sweat.

“It’s fine,” Mark waved his hands offhandedly after putting down both mugs on the table. “Sit down.”

“Okay,” Renjun nodded hesitantly, sitting back down and taking one of the mugs. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome,” Mark smiled as he settled on the chair in front of Renjun. “So, I read your script…” he paused as he sipped his coffee slowly, making Renjun hold his breath in suspense. “It was just as great as I remember.”

Renjun smiled to ease his awkwardness and muttered sheepishly, “Thank you.”

“I got your resume and portfolio from admin,” Mark continued smoothly. “You took the writing track in university?”

“I did.” 

“Can I ask why?”

Renjun sipped his coffee slowly, just to buy some time and gather his thoughts. “I like to write before I even start to like films. I like to tell stories and I wanted to be a writer at first,” Renjun started cautiously and Mark leaned in, giving him full attention. “But then, my favorite novel was turned into a film and it was so much better. I mean, I’d like to think I have a pretty good imagination, but the film was ten times better than my imagination.”

Mark chuckled lightly, clearly amused. “What novel?” He asked.

“Harry Potter, of course, what else people our age read in our childhood,” Renjun said matter-of-factly. Mark nodded, solemnly agreed.

“The story is a big part of why I fell in love with films. I think it’s the heart of a film and every other part—acting, directing, cinematography and the rest—is a device to make it come to life. When we’re making films, we’re all the storytellers. We just have different things to put on the table.”

“You really have a way with words, huh?” Mark’s grin just got wider and wider. Renjun blushed a little at the teasing. His cheeks started to hurt because he couldn’t stop smiling for what it felt like hours now.

“Before we start talking about you joining the film, I’ll let you know where we’re at right now, okay?” Mark cautioned. “So, we’ve been talking with the company that distributed Ether worldwide. They wanted another film and we’ve pitched our idea already. We wanted to make a gay coming of age film, set in Seoul.”

Renjun’s eyes widened at the idea, in complete disbelief with his luck these past few days. As if it wasn’t enough that he was going to work with people he looked up to, now he was going to write a story he personally related to.

“You don’t have a problem writing on a story about gay people, right?” Mark asked cautiously.

“No, of course not!” Renjun hurriedly assured him.

“Oh, okay, cool,” Mark gushed in relief. “It’s personal for both of us, so I want to do it right.”

The implication was not lost on Renjun obviously, but Renjun chose to nod gracefully instead of saying anything about it. 

Mark smiled before continuing, “So yeah, Jeno was in some kind of a slump right now. Something happened in his, um, personal life and he hasn’t made any progress for months. He was supposed to finish it last month, but we haven’t even got a finished draft yet.”

Renjun considered it for a second. It sounded grim to be honest. The company’s star writer was in a funk and they approached a rookie to help him get over it, instead of a more experienced writer. What was the reason? Maybe they wanted to keep it on the down low?

“I know it doesn’t sound ideal, but you will work together with him. I think a writing partner would do Jeno good, ” Mark mused lightly, as if to reassure Renjun when his expression got darker.

“Then why can’t he come talk to me himself?” Renjun asked.

“It’s a bit difficult to make Jeno come to the office, so we need to come see him to talk to him,” Mark grimaced, knowing it sounded worse and worse.

“Does he even know you’re getting him a writing partner?” Renjun raised his eyebrows, because surely Mark knew he wasn’t fooling anyone here. Mark let out a restrained sigh and shrugged.

“He would cave in eventually if I insist,” Mark scoffed.

Renjun should have known, really. This whole opportunity sounded too good to be true to begin with. There had to be a catch and it stared at him right in the face right now. He was not an idealist by any means. Bending over in a difficult situation was not a problem—you had to do that when you were still a rookie in any industry anyway—but he refused to be bullied or taken advantage of, at least not without a way out.

“Can I ask why it had to be me?” Renjun asked cautiously.

“I’ve been working with you for a month, so I know firsthand how hard you work. You have potential as a writer. I don’t see why not, frankly.” The way Mark was so diplomatic about this just rubbed him the wrong way even more.

“Listen, Renjun,” Mark scratched his forehead in exasperation when Renjun didn’t say anything. “Do me a favor and sit on it for a while. Take your time and think about it before you give me your answer.”

Renjun wanted to say no immediately, but he remembered his conversation with his mom a few days earlier. A year was all he had left. He couldn’t afford to reject the offer, if he was being completely honest.

“Okay,” Renjun relented soullessly. He just wanted to leave and probably called Donghyuck to whine. Then Donghyuck can badmouth Mark for him and ease his wounded pride, just a little bit.

And that was exactly what he did, because the next thing he knew he was tucked in the corner of a wall-in-a-hole bar with Donghyuck, picking on jeon and makgeolli and shittalking Mark.

“Fuck, I was so excited, you know,” Renjun sighed.

“Of course, you did. He knew you’d be excited,” Donghyuck kept gassing him up.

“And he was so nice about it too, praising my script and shit,” Renjun lamented.

“Do you think he was just bullshitting you?”

“I mean, Yerim noona was the one who brought up Midnight Sun and he seemed like he genuinely liked it, but maybe he exaggerated it a bit,” Renjun shrugged.

“But he did want you to write a script for him, like, he won’t ask you if he thinks you’ll do a bad job?” Donghyuck raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t know man, I’m doubting everything he said now that I know what his intention is,” Renjun frowned.

“Also, what’s the deal with Lee Jeno?” Donghyuck snorted, raising Renjun’s concern. “Is he sick? Did he break his leg or something? Why can’t he get out of the house?”

“I know. Honestly that’s like the weirdest part of the whole thing,” Renjun scoffed. “What do you think I should do?” 

“You should take it, obviously,” Donghyuck replied ingenuously. Renjun did not see that coming. After all the shit talk, he thought Donghyuck would advise against it.

“Dude, they’re both a big deal, right now. Ether did great, both critically and commercially. Everyone wants to see what they will come up next and they want you in on that. You’d be a fool not to take it,” Donghyuck babbled away and Renjun stopped listening by the second sentence. He knew all that already.

“It’s just…” Renjun groaned in frustration. “It’s just fucking shady that he approached a rookie like me. He knew I would be helpless if something goes wrong.”

“Then, make sure nothing goes wrong,” Donghyuck snorted.

“How?” Renjun deadpanned.

“Demand a fucking tight contract,” Donghyuck said, like it was obvious. Renjun sighed exaggeratedly, played around with his cup as he considered it—even though there was nothing to consider, he knew he would take the job. 

“Okay,” Renjun nodded resignedly.

“But you must meet Lee Jeno before you say yes, okay? Assess the situation first.”

“Obviously,” Renjun nodded.

“I’m auditioning for this, okay? A film about gay teenagers, I’ll fucking kill it. I’m getting a part in your first real film,” Donghyuck said it like a command and all Renjun could do was nodded solemnly. 

They clinked their metal cups and downed every last drop of makgeolli they had left. Donghyuck wanted to go to a club for the second round, but Renjun was never into getting drunk among a horde of strangers—he would rather go home. So, they parted after Donghyuck gave him a wet kiss on the cheek and told him to keep him posted.

*

Renjun texted Mark in the morning, asking for another meeting. Mark told him to meet him in the office. Renjun already planned to come to the office for his daily free coffee anyway, so he changed out of his pajamas, put on his hoodie and coat, before walking to the office.

Yerim was having her coffee in the pantry when Renjun walked in. Renjun joined her with his own cup of coffee.

“What are you working on now, noona?” Renjun asked.

“Still editing,” Yerim yawned and stretched her arms. “What about you? Did you talk to Mark?”

“I did,” Renjun nodded with a wry face, making Yerim raise her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” Yerim asked.

“Have you worked with Lee Jeno before, noona?” Renjun threw another question instead of answering.

“Yeah, a couple of times, when he was still an assistant director,” Yerim nodded.

“What do you think of him?” Renjun prodded cautiously. Yerim sipped her coffee while she considered her answer.

“He’s quiet, doesn’t really talk much,” Yerim answered. “He’s nice, but a bit spoiled, you know, like most rich kids are.”

“Really?” Renjun did not know that.

“Yeah, he’s old money, like his family lives in Gangnam level of rich. He never flaunted it, though. He worked just as hard as us regular people,” Yerim gave him a meaningful smirk, “I respect that.”

Renjun still didn’t know what to react about this piece of information, but he kept it in mind, nonetheless. Maybe it would be useful when they started working together for real.

His phone buzzed with a text from Mark, ‘Where are you? I’m waiting out front’.

Renjun finished his coffee in a hurry and said goodbye to Yerim, looking around in front of the building to find Mark. The window on the fancy blue sedan parked across the street slid down, revealing Mark’s face.

“Renjun-ah!” Mark called out. “Get in!”

“Yes, hyung!” Renjun crossed the street and circled the car to the passenger’s side. He climbed onto the seat, silently choked when he realized the car Mark drove was a Tesla.

“Where are we going?” Renjun asked as he put on the seatbelt.

“Jeno’s house,” Mark answered lightly.

“Right,” Renjun scoffed to himself.

Mark drove them out of the city center, uphill toward the quieter neighborhood. No cramped apartment complex, just houses and smaller buildings. Renjun didn’t know Seoul had this kind of neighborhood. None of his Korean friends in university came from Seoul, so they had no reason to explore the city beyond the popular spots. 

“It will take too long to travel here by bus, that’s why I’m driving you,” Mark explained as he drove.

“Is this why Jeno never gets out of his house?” Renjun tried to joke.

“Partly, yeah,” Mark snorted. “He’s just lazy as fuck, mostly. Now that he writes full time, he rarely gets out of the house.”

Mark talked about Jeno with a mix of fondness and annoyance, the way oldest friends do. It must be nice, to work with your friend, build your career side by side and even go on to be successful together. Maybe he and Donghyuck could be like them someday.

Mark stopped in front of a house with wooden gates and pulled out his phone, probably to call Jeno.

“Yah, I’m here,” Mark said. The gates were opened a few seconds later and Mark parked his car outside on the driveway. He stepped out of the car and picked up the plastic bags he left on the back seat. Renjun trailed behind him as Mark walked toward the house.

The house was gorgeous, with a mix of black and white panel wall, a lot of windows and angled black roof. It was also huge, too big for just one person. Maybe that’s what you do when you have too much money, splurging on your house. 

The front door wasn’t locked, and Mark let himself in right away. They took off their shoes and used the slippers left on the rack.

“Oh, you’re here,” Jeno was chilling on the sofa in what looked like a living room, lazily basking in the sunlight seeping through the floor to ceiling glass wall. His eyes stopped at Renjun and he hurriedly got up to greet him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you brought a guest?” Jeno asked Mark, smiling but clearly annoyed.

“Because you’ll keep saying no otherwise,” Mark snorted, extended the plastic bags he brought like a peace offering. “I brought donuts and tteokbokki.”

“Hi, I’m Lee Jeno,” Jeno held out his hand to Renjun, ignoring Mark. Jeno was only wearing hoodie and sweatpants, but Renjun was still startled with how handsome he looked. Pretty eyes behind half-rimmed glasses, prominent nose, luscious lips and chiseled jaw. His black hair was cut a little too short, but he carried it well. He would probably look good with any haircut with that face anyway.

“Huang Renjun,” Renjun took his hand and shook it firmly, bowing his head at the same time. Jeno bowed back in the perfect manner, staring at him intently. His gaze was discerning, especially coming from someone he just met, but Renjun didn’t let it show on his face.

“Mark told me about you,” Jeno remarked politely. “He sent me your script.”

“Did you read it?” Mark asked as he opened the boxes of food he brought and arranged them on top of the small table in front of the television.

“Of course, I did,” Jeno scoffed. He turned to Renjun and nodded as if he was reassuring him, “It was great.”

“Thank you, sunbae,” Renjun smiled nervously.

“Have some donut, Renjun-ah,” Mark waved to him, telling him to come over. Renjun threw a questioning look to Jeno, after all it was still his house.

“Go ahead,” Jeno encouraged him. Renjun took a donut and sat awkwardly on the sofa, knowing Jeno and Mark had a silent conversation behind his back. Shoplifters was playing in Jeno’s television, but even that masterpiece of a film couldn’t hold Renjun’s attention.

“Renjun-ah, we need to talk for a bit, just wait here, yeah?” Mark chirped happily and followed Jeno to the backyard where they had a very quiet argument. Renjun tried not to watch but he couldn’t help throwing a glance every now and then. Jeno looked baffled, mostly, instead of angry, but Renjun was still worried, nonetheless.

The disagreement finally seemed to be solved when Mark and Jeno walked back to the living room. Jeno smiled slightly as he took a donut and settled beside Renjun, sinking onto the throw pillows breezily.

“So…” Jeno started.

“Yes, sunbae,” Renjun nodded respectfully.

“You can relax,” Jeno assured him. Renjun couldn’t relax. This unexpected situation had made his body tense with anxiety.

“I’m sorry I came announced,” Renjun grimaced. 

“Don’t be, it’s his fault, not yours,” Jeno side-eyed Mark who was snacking on tteokbokki. The guy ignored him and rewound the film from the beginning. 

“Do you want to look around the house?” Jeno suddenly asked, surprising Renjun. The house was beautiful, but Renjun wasn’t keen on imposing himself on Jeno’s private space, especially because Jeno wasn’t happy he came here to begin with.

“Come on,” Jeno cocked his head toward the stairs and Renjun had no choice but to follow him.

The whole house was tastefully decorated, with modern designed monochrome furniture. Bright colored abstract paintings hung facing the open stairs, creating an interesting contrast in the room. The staircase stopped at the small hallway with one door on their right and two doors on their left. 

“That’s my bedroom,” Jeno pointed at his right. He turned left and opened one of the doors. It was a small bedroom, with a double bed on top of a low wooden frame, desk, armchair and a small open clothing rack in the corner. A frosted glass door perched just beside it, probably access to an attached bathroom. 

“This will be your room.”

“I’m sorry?” Renjun thought he heard him wrong. “Did you say my room?”

“Yeah,” Jeno grinned. Before Renjun could say anything, he moved on to the other room. This one was a working space, with floor to ceiling shelves filled with rows and rows of books. Two desks arranged on the corner, facing the large windows with a spectacular view of the Bukhansan across the valley. One of the desks was littered with papers and pens around an open laptop, clearly in use. The other one was completely empty. Judging by the thin layer of dust on top, it hadn’t been used in a long time.

“You can use this desk,” Jeno pointed at the empty one nonchalantly. “Any question?”

“You want me to move here?” Renjun asked, completely dumbfounded.

“Obviously,” Jeno scoffed like Renjun asked him a silly question. “Where else should we work?”

“I thought…” Renjun was speechless. He really hadn’t thought about that. In fact, he hadn't thought beyond accepting the job. His brain was loaded with unanswered questions in a rush, ambushed by Jeno’s straightforwardness.

“We haven’t even discussed what the job entailed,” Renjun sighed, full of dread.

“We write together, as simple as that,” Jeno replied candidly. “Obviously, the script is halfway done. I’ve had all the plot and characters figured out, so you just need to develop the idea and start writing.”

“Will I get a writing credit?” Renjun asked.

“Of course!” Jeno snorted in disbelief. “Do you think I will steal credit for your work? What kind of a person do you think I am?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Renjun hurriedly apologized. The wrinkle in Jeno’s forehead just got deeper instead.

“Well, you did,” Jeno huffed, but more subdued than before.

“It’s just both you and Mark have been so vague about the whole thing. At first, he said he needed a writing assistant for you, then a partner…” Renjun argued, defending himself. Jeno wrinkled his nose at that. “You’re completely capable of writing the script on your own. I just don’t understand why you even need my help?” 

Renjun still couldn’t shake this uneasiness he was feeling. Was he being too paranoid? No one said a bad thing about both Mark and Jeno before and Renjun was surrounded by people who knew them well almost every day.

“I have a situation,” Jeno mumbled reluctantly. 

“Don’t you think I deserve to know what kind of situation you are in?” Renjun knew he shouldn’t pry, but he needed to know to feel safer. Jeno wanted him to move here for God’s sake. Renjun needed to know whether he could trust him.

“It’s personal,” Jeno scoffed.

“But it’s affecting your work and I’m going to work with you,” Renjun insisted.

Jeno stared him down, as if waiting for him to cave in, but unfortunately Renjun was too stubborn to let go. He tilted his chin up instead, a gesture that could be perceived as rude, especially to a senior in the industry. Surprisingly, Jeno was the one who sighed and relaxed first. 

“Just think of it as a slump or something.” Jeno’s answer was still vague but at least it was an answer. “I probably will be able to finish it alone, but I can’t do it fast enough—or as fast as Mark wants me to.”

“So, you’re less productive than usual?” Renjun kept prodding.

“You’re quite persistent, aren’t you?” Jeno observed instead of answering.

What’s that supposed to mean? Renjun asked himself. Jeno’s expression was hard to read, neutral with a hint of smile. Maybe if Renjun knew him better, he would know what Jeno was thinking about, but the man was practically a stranger to him.

“I’ll tell you after you move in,” Jeno said.

“I need to know before I move in,” Renjun insisted.

“It’s not even that big of a deal,” Jeno sighed exaggeratedly. He looked at the empty desk, dazed out for a while. Renjun didn’t say anything, giving him some space. Jeno’s smile was wistful as his eyes found Renjun’s. 

“It’s just… I’m not in the best condition to write a love story,” Jeno murmured. The raw emotion in Jeno’s eyes was palpable and Renjun was almost too embarrassed to witness it, knowing he really had no right. Was it a breakup? A heartbreak? Whatever it was, it seemed to wreck him up good.

“Okay, I understand,” Renjun averted his gaze. “I’m sorry I had to ask.”

“It’s fine. I get why you’re concerned,” Jeno waved his hand dismissively. The little window to his heart disappeared in an instance. Renjun didn’t miss it.

“Are you sure you want me to move in? This is only the first time we meet,” Renjun raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t mind. It’s like getting a roommate. I’m thinking of getting one anyway,” Jeno shrugged. “So, when will you be able to move in?”

“How long do you think I have to live here?” Renjun asked back, instead of answering.

“Mark wanted the script to be finished in a month,” Jeno replied. “We can talk again after that.”

“I’m just not sure what to do with my rented room,” Renjun murmured. “I can’t pay two rents at the same time.”

“You’re not paying rent here,” Jeno scoffed. “Think of it like…” Jeno paused a second to find the appropriate word, “A month-long writing retreat, but you’re getting paid for it.”

A retreat, huh? Renjun liked the sound of it. Living in this beautiful house wasn’t a trouble by any means, even if he essentially had to do it with a stranger. As long as he had a private room by himself, Renjun wouldn’t mind it, really. It was a perfect place to hole up and focus on writing.

But, he would still keep his semi-basement room rent for a safety net, just in case something goes wrong.

“Okay, great,” Renjun smiled. “I can move in right away.”

“Okay, we’ll work out the contract, so you can start as soon as possible,” Jeno concluded with ease. Renjun nodded, relieved now that most of the misunderstanding on his part had been smoothen out.

“Give me your number, then,” Jeno pulled out his phone from his pocket and gave it to Renjun. 

“How old are you, Renjun-ssi?” Jeno suddenly asked when Renjun was typing his number on the phone.

“I’m 24,” Renjun answered, then added to lighten the mood, “You can talk comfortably with me, sunbae.”

“Okay, Renjun-ah,” Jeno smiled earnestly in Renjun’s presence for the first time and his entire face lit up. His dark eyes disappeared into two curves as he did, making him suddenly look downright adorable. The thought, even in private, felt really embarrassing and Renjun quickly shook it out of his mind.

“You should call me hyung, then,” Jeno inquired amiably.

“Yes, hyung,” Renjun tried to smile, though still awkward.

“How do you spell your name exactly?” Jeno asked after Renjun gave him his phone back. Renjun spelled it out in Korean alphabet for him.

“You can call me Injun if you want. It’s my name in Korean,” Renjun said. “Hwang Injun.”

“Okay, I’ll save your number as Injunnie,” Jeno grinned. Only Renjun’s closest friends called him that, actually, but he didn’t mind it so much when Jeno did, especially with the way he said it so cutely.

Jeno called Renjun’s phone to let him have his number and spelled his name for Renjun to type. “A lot of people misspell it,” he explained himself as Renjun threw him a questioning look.

“In case you don’t know, you’re quite famous, hyung, so I know how to spell your name,” Renjun deadpanned, making Jeno chuckle a little.

“Sure,” Jeno huffed sheepishly.

“Come on, let’s go downstairs,” Jeno patted his shoulders lightly and led their way down. Mark was still engrossed by the film. The half-eaten tteokbokki was left cold on the table, forgotten. Renjun sat down next to Mark because he didn’t know what else to do.

“Should we have lunch?” Jeno asked Mark.

“I’m not hungry yet,” Mark shook his head. “Just eat the tteokbokki first.”

Jeno sat down on the carpet in front of Renjun and started munching down on the tteokbokki.

“So, what’s going on? Are you taking the job?” Mark asked as his eyes darted between Renjun and Jeno.

“Yes, I am,” Renjun nodded.

“Also, he’s moving in,” Jeno added, grinning.

“What?” Mark gasped in surprise. Jeno just shrugged when Mark shot him an incredulous look. Mark turned to look at Renjun. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded. Mark’s eyebrows furrowed with worry, for a second before he shrugged it out.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Mark murmured.

Renjun allowed himself to be excited about this huge steppingstone in his career. It was just a little simmer, but it was there. A dream project and a beautiful house, all at the same time. Jeno was nice, just like Yerim said. A little guarded, but Renjun didn’t mind. They were going to be colleagues after all, not friends. 

Renjun stayed for another hour until the film and snacks were finished. After that Jeno not so subtly told both of them to leave. They hopped on Mark’s car and drove back to the city.

“You don’t have to move to Jeno’s house if you don’t want to, you know,” Mark said while they were stuck in a red light. “I can make him come to the office.”

“No offense, hyung, but we can’t write in the office,” Renjun snorted. 

“I just don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation,” Mark sighed. “Jeno can be a little much, sometimes.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Renjun stated, probably a little too defensive. “I can take care of myself.”

“Just tell me if you need anything or if it gets too much, okay?” Mark said. 

“Okay, hyung,” Renjun nodded.

Mark insisted on dropping him off in front of his building, but of course his car couldn’t get into the small alley it was located on, so Renjun made him stop on the street nearby and walked the rest of the way.

Once he was inside, he looked around the room, no bigger than twenty square meters, with only bare necessities furniture. Compared to Jeno’s house, this place felt much cruddier and tackier. Renjun sighed and threw himself on the bed, slumping weakly under the blanket.

Maybe he would be able to afford a better place than this after signing the contract. He sighed and closed his eyes, hoping and praying. That was all he could do right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	2. Comes and Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation moved along smoothly, like they had known each other in a long time. They talked and laughed together, teasing and jokes slipped in between. Maybe because they only talked about easy things, trivial things, but Renjun liked it. Building rapport took time and Renjun was willing to invest his.

“Is it still far?” Donghyuck asked. “We’ve been driving uphill for twenty minutes now.”

“Just another kilometer,” Renjun checked the GPS again.

After signing the contract two days ago, Renjun packed his stuff immediately. He was going to ride a taxi to Jeno’s house, but Donghyuck insisted on driving him there, even though he had to borrow his parents’ car to do it. Renjun had a suspicion that the reason Donghyuck did this was more about him wanting to visit Jeno’s house rather than helping Renjun.

“It must’ve been a real hassle to travel back and forth to the city from the house,” Donghyuck commented as they passed another hard turn.

“That’s why you have to be able to work from home if you live here,” Renjun scoffed.

“Turn right here,” Renjun told him. Donghyuck turned and stopped the car in front of the wooden gate of Jeno’s house as per Renjun’s instruction.

“Let me call him,” Renjun took out his phone. Jeno didn’t pick up after two attempts, so Renjun got out of the car and pressed the bell. Still no answer. Renjun was about to press the bell one more time when Jeno’s voice finally went through the intercom.

“Hi, yeah, sorry I just woke up,” Jeno sounded groggy. “Come on in.”

The gate was opened and Donghyuck drove in right away, leaving him in the dust. Renjun groaned and walked along the driveway as the gate swing closed. Mark’s car was already parked in the driveway, so Donghyuck parked his car behind him and got out with a satisfied smirk. Renjun rolled his eyes as he opened the door and took out his luggage from the back seat.

“Hi, guys,” Jeno waved from the terrace, wearing a black and white striped pajama with a matching robe, looking like he was just woken up even though it was one in the afternoon. His hair was messy, and he wasn’t wearing glasses this time, still looked as handsome as the last time Renjun saw him a week ago.

“Hi, hyung,” Renjun grinned. “This is my friend, Donghyuck. He’s helping me move in.”

Donghyuck approached him confidently to introduce himself and shook his hand while Renjun dragged his luggage inside. Jeno let them in and followed them when they headed directly to Renjun’s room. Renjun insisted on carrying the luggage by himself upstairs, but Jeno gave him a boost from behind to help him. 

“Thanks,” Renjun muttered.

“No problem,” Jeno smiled. “You two settle in, I’ll order lunch for you. Jajangmyun okay?”

“You don’t have to, hyung,” Renjun hurriedly shook his head.

“It’s fine, I’m the one who’s hungry,” Jeno grinned, before leaving them and descending the stairs. 

“How can he look that handsome with bed hair and pajamas?” Donghyuck asked as soon as Jeno was out of earshot. Renjun had been wondering the exact same thing, just as baffled. 

“I know, right?” Renjun agreed immediately.

“It's a bit annoying that he’s rich, handsome and talented,” Donghyuck scoffed.

“He’s nice too,” Renjun added. Donghyuck’s eyebrows raised a little. A hint of a smirk formed on his lips.

“Be careful, Renjun-ah, don’t fall in love with him,” Donghyuck teased as he hung his clothes on the rack. Renjun just snorted as if the idea of him falling in love was silly and out of the question. It probably was. It had been for years anyway.

Renjun looked around the room. It was still the same. The bed was unmade, but someone left the bed sheet and a blanket on top, along with two towels. All of them were silky soft to the touch, nothing like the cheap sheets and towels Renjun bought at the market for himself when he started living alone a year ago.

He stepped into the bathroom, which was bigger than he expected, complete with shower, toilet with a bidet, vanity desk and a sink with a small window to the same spectacular view to Bukhansan. 

“Even your room is so nice,” Donghyuck exclaimed with clear jealousy. Renjun smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at him.

They quickly unpacked Renjun’s clothes, before walking out of the room and peeked inside the working room. The empty desk had been cleaned up, no dust left on the tabletop.

“His partner used to live here, huh?” Donghyuck asked, pointing at the empty desk. “He probably moved out when they broke up.”

Renjun didn’t put the two and two together before, but it made sense. Jeno wouldn’t take the breakup that hard if the relationship didn’t run just as deep. It must have been devastating, staying back in a house he used to live with someone he loved after the man left. All alone.

“Let’s go down,” Donghyuck suggested. “I want to look around the house.”

Jeno was nowhere to be found once they went down. Living room, dining room and kitchen were empty. Renjun was about to text Jeno when he saw him sitting on the bench in the backyard with his back facing the house, looking like he pretty much wanted to be left alone, so Renjun did.

He snooped around the kitchen instead, grimacing when he only found a box of kimchi and bottles of alcohol inside the fridge. Only bare necessities like a pot and a pan for cooking tools could be found inside the kitchen cabinet, but the spice rack was filled with ingredients Renjun knew only people with considerable cooking skill used, like coarse sea salt or paprika powder. They were collecting dust on the rack just like the empty desk upstairs, so maybe Jeno’s ex bought them.

Next, Renjun opened the doors next to the kitchen. One of them was opened to a small bathroom, the other to a laundry room with a rack to store cleaning products and unused bed sheets and blankets.

“Renjun-ah!” Donghyuck suddenly called, startling him, looking like he just saw a ghost.

“What’s wrong?” Renjun asked.

“A guy just went down and sat down in the living room,” Donghyuck said, panting like he just sprinted.

“Yeah, it’s probably Mark,” Renjun said matter-of-factly.

“Mark? Mark Lee?” Donghyuck repeated with shock, before he held his head with both hands and cursed, “Fuck.”

“Why?” Renjun asked again, worried.

“I met him a week ago in a club and we hooked up,” Donghyuck whispered wearily. “I lied and told him my name is Haechan and I’m a dancer.”

“You gave him a fake name?” Renjun chuckled in amusement.

“Well, I didn’t think we’d meet again,” Donghyuck pouted while defending himself.

“You really didn't know who he was?” Renjun prodded.

“Look, it was dark in the club and I was drunk, okay? He told me his name is Minhyung and I just believed him,” Donghyuck huffed. “Also, I never saw him in person before, like, how could I recognize him?”

“Fucking hell,” Renjun shook his head, still chuckling. “So, do you want to keep lying or what?”

“No, what’s the point?” Donghyuck sighed. “I literally ran away when he was asleep, he must’ve thought I’m an asshole.”

“You are an asshole, you do that all the time,” Renjun scoffed. “You never stayed over.”

“I kind of did with him…” Donghyuck muttered sheepishly.

“What?” Renjun gasped in mock disbelief.

“He fucking railed me for an hour, and I passed out after we both came,” Donghyuck recalled with a lewd grin, making Renjun groaned with disgust.

“I don’t need the details, thank you very much.”

“What are you two doing here?” Jeno asked. Both Renjun and Donghyuck turned around and saw Jeno on the hallway, staring at them curiously.

“We were just looking around,” Renjun grinned immediately.

“Jeno-yah!” Mark called from the living room. “The food is here.”

“About time, I’m so fucking hungry,” Jeno ran to the living room. 

“Come on,” Renjun tugged at Donghyuck’s sleeve. His friend sighed exaggeratedly and trailed behind him to the living room.

Jeno and Mark were taking out the bowls of noodles and arranged them on the table. Mark looked up as they approached closer. His eyes widened with shock as he saw Donghyuck behind Renjun. 

“This is Lee Donghyuck,” Renjun introduced them. “He’s my friend from university.”

“Donghyuck?” Mark raised his eyebrows incredulously before Renjun could even introduce him. Donghyuck looked like he wanted to die. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks as he looked down to avoid Mark’s gaze. 

“I’m Lee Minhyung, in case you forgot,” Mark said. “It’s my actual Korean name.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Donghyuck murmured. Renjun stared at both of them, definitely amused. Jeno threw a questioning glance at him, silently asking what was going on. Renjun just shrugged and sat down in front of Jeno, forcing Donghyuck to sit down in front of Mark.

“You’ve met before?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah,” Mark answered curtly.

“Where?” Jeno asked again, but neither of them was willing to answer. Renjun exchanged a glance with Jeno who looked mostly confused with the whole situation, but he still tried to say something to salvage the awkward situation.

“So, Donghyuck, you went to film school too?” Jeno started the small talk.

“No, I major in acting,” Donghyuck answered in a low voice.

“You’re an actor, then?” Jeno nodded politely.

“Yeah, he acted in Midnight Sun, hyung,” Renjun told him, trying to help Jeno keep the conversation going.

“Oh, no wonder you looked familiar,” Mark mused dryly. Donghyuck snorted at his bowl in response.

“What?” Mark snapped.

“No, just…” Donghyuck shrugged. His lips curled into a cheeky smile and Renjun already knew what was about to go down. “Sorry I lied, okay? I didn’t know we’d meet again.”

“Yeah, you made sure of that, right?” Mark scoffed.

“It was just a hookup, come on. It’s not a big deal,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. Mark looked scandalized, probably didn’t expect Donghyuck would straight up admitting in front of everyone the fact that they slept together.

“Okaay,” Jeno clapped his hand together loudly to stop the argument before it got messier. Renjun was disappointed because he actually rather enjoyed the drama.

The conversation was effectively dead after that, despite Jeno’s effort. Donghyuck excused himself after lunch, saying he needed to return the car to his parents’ house—even though he still lived with his parents. 

Donghyuck glared at Renjun before he even opened his mouth to tease him. Jeno and Renjun walked him out, while Mark stubbornly stayed behind. Donghyuck thanked Jeno for his hospitality and wasted no time to get into his car and leave.

“Did he tell you what happened?” Jeno asked.

“You should ask Mark,” Renjun shrugged. No matter how much Renjun liked to tease his friend, he wouldn’t spill his business without his permission. Jeno just huffed and walked back in.

Mark looked like he wanted to ask Renjun something, but he was holding himself back. So Renjun ignored him and started to tidy up the used bowls and glasses, carrying them to the kitchen to be washed. Jeno followed his lead and they naturally washed the dishes side by side, like they had been doing it for years.

“I need to tell you something…” Jeno murmured as he handed him the glass he just rinsed.

“What?” Renjun asked.

“A housekeeper will come twice a week to clean the house and do some laundry. Just leave your laundry in that room, she’d sort it out,” Jeno told him, pointing at the laundry room next to the kitchen. Renjun would rather wash his clothes himself but he nodded, nonetheless.

“Can I cook here?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah, if you want,” Jeno nodded. “But should we just order meals together, since the portion was always too big for me to finish alone anyway.”

“Or I can cook for you and we could split the grocery,” Renjun offered. The real reason he wanted to cook their meals was because he couldn’t exactly afford ordering food deliveries every day, but he was too embarrassed to tell Jeno that.

“Huh? You’ll do that?” Jeno let out an adorable noise in disbelief and Renjun had to push down the smile that was threatening to surface.

“I mean, I already live here for free, it’s the least I can do,” Renjun shrugged. “The effort of cooking for one or two is pretty much the same anyway.”

“Of course, I would love to eat home cooked meals, if you’re willing to cook,” Jeno gushed excitedly. “I can’t help, but I can wash the dishes after.”

“Deal then,” Renjun grinned.

They went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa next to Mark who was staring blankly at his phone. Mark snapped out of his daze when he saw Renjun.

“Sorry about your friend,” Mark muttered.

“It’s fine, hyung,” Renjun smiled to reassure him.

“Did he…” Mark hesitated for a second, “Did he say something about me?”

“He did,” Renjun nodded. “He told me what happened.”

Mark still looked at him expectantly, obviously waiting for Renjun to elaborate, but he wasn’t sure he should. Donghyuck would explicitly say it if he wanted him to and he didn’t.

“You should talk to him himself,” Renjun said.

“Sure,” Mark murmured weakly and Renjun felt a tug on his heart when he realized Mark probably liked Donghyuck a little more than he let on. Renjun glanced at Jeno, asking for help and he just shrugged, as if asking him ‘What am I supposed to do?’.

“So, you’re going to start working tomorrow, right? Jeno-yah?” Mark asked, suddenly changing the topic.

“Sure,” Jeno nodded offhandedly.

“I’ll check tomorrow,” Mark threatened with a smile on his face. Jeno just sighed and nodded one more time.

Mark whispered to Renjun before he left, “You had to take initiative, okay? Don’t wait for Jeno to tell you what to do, because he won’t.”

It took Renjun by surprise. Before he could muster any resemblance of response, Mark patted his shoulder and left the house.

“What did he say?” Jeno asked afterward.

“Something about Donghyuck,” Renjun lied without an ounce of hesitation.

“It seemed like it was more than a hookup for Mark,” Jeno mused as he turned on the television and settled on the sofa. Renjun lamented the thought, because he knew for sure Donghyuck would break his heart if he kept this up.

“Nothing to worry about, Injun-ah. Mark is always like that, feels too much and sometimes too soon, but he could take care of himself,” Jeno assured him. 

Renjun could relate to that, actually. Feeling too much, too soon. That was the reason he avoided feelings in the first place. It was just easier, to have no expectation. 

“What about you? Do you have someone?” Jeno asked. Renjun shook his head promptly.

“But surely you want to have a hookup sometimes?” Jeno raised his eyebrows.

“Probably,” Renjun said, noncommittal.

“Ok, whatever, just let me know if you want to have someone over,” Jeno said casually. Renjun would rather die than bring someone over to his more-or-less workplace, but he kept it to himself. 

“Sure,” Renjun snorted. “You’ll let me know too, right?” 

“Me?” Jeno burst out laughing. It came out rather ironic, if Renjun was to be honest. “No, I’ve swore off men, actually.”

Renjun didn’t know what to react so he just nodded and hoped it was enough. Jeno crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side cautiously.

“Does that bother you?” Jeno asked.

“What?” Renjun furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

“That I’m into men,” Jeno elaborated.

“Of course not,” Renjun swiftly shook his head. Jeno stared at him, like he was judging his sincerity. Renjun considered coming out to him, just to assure him that he was in the company of an ally, but Renjun couldn’t bring himself to open up this fast. He already cringed thinking how he goes about telling Jeno that. How awkward it would be. _By the way, I’m gay too haha._

“Okay,” Jeno shrugged and leaned back onto the sofa, hand holding the remote to pick something to watch. He picked a random episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which Renjun never even watched before.

It was an episode about Halloween and, even without context, it was pretty funny. Renjun chuckled on the joke Holt threw and he glanced at Jeno for the first time since they started watching. Oddly enough, Jeno didn’t even watch the show. He played a game on his phone instead.

Renjun stayed back and watched four episodes in a row. The sun was setting outside and Renjun stretched his neck toward the window so he could look at the sky. 

“What should we do for dinner?” Jeno asked.

“Should we go out and buy groceries now?” Renjun suggested.

Jeno considered it for a second and finally nodded, “Okay, sure.” He turned off the television and stretched his arms as he got up, making his shirt hiked up, revealing his bare skin underneath. Renjun turned his head away, embarrassed that his eyes unconsciously stared at his abs.

“Let me change first, then,” Jeno murmured, completely unaware of Renjun’s reaction.

Both of them went to their respective room. Jeno to change his clothes and Renjun to fetch his coat. The red sky was completely mesmerizing as seen from the window. Renjun ran downstairs to the backyard so he could enjoy the sunset with his own eyes.

He took a picture of it and posted it on his Instagram. It looked like he was in some expensive villa in the countryside, which probably was not far from the truth.

“Injun-ah!” Jeno called. Renjun turned around and saw Jeno waving at him, already wearing black hoodie and jeans with a grey coat on top. “Come on.”

In ten minutes, both of them already climbed inside Jeno’s black SUV and left his house toward the supermarket nearby. Renjun asked what Jeno wanted to eat and he quickly made a shopping list on the way.

“I feel like I have made the right decision making you live with me,” Jeno said as he pushed the trolley inside the supermarket while Renjun was picking some vegetables to buy. What a really nice thing to say, completely unprovoked, Renjun thought. Jeno seemed to be unfazed by the weight of his words because his expression didn’t change at all—or maybe it was just Renjun’s fault for overthinking this too much. 

“Thanks,” Renjun chuckled, because he felt awkward all of a sudden.

“Do you cook often?”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.”

Renjun had been helping his grandmother in the kitchen since he was still in elementary school. As he grew up, he even started to cook on his own, sharing the household chores with his grandmother while his mother worked herself to the bone to make a living for the three of them.

“You don’t mind Chinese food, right?” Renjun asked because there was only so much Korean recipe he was able to make.

“Yeah, as long as it’s not too spicy,” Jeno nodded. Too bad. Renjun liked his food spicy, but he could make an exception for Jeno. 

Before they strolled to the checkout counter, Jeno took some more beef, pork and sausages. Renjun tensed when he saw the price of each one, knowing his share of payment would probably doubled. He didn’t know how to raise his objection without sounding petty.

“Let’s have some barbeque party later, I’m paying, okay?” Jeno grinned as if he could read his mind.

“Yeah, sure,” Renjun replied weakly.

Jeno insisted on paying with his card on the checkout counter and Renjun could pay for the next one. Renjun made a mental note to plan the next supermarket visit better so they wouldn’t buy too much.

Renjun put the food in the fridge and started the rice cooker as soon as they got back. He took a hot shower while the rice was cooking, sending a silent prayer to his lucky star for letting him use this fancy ass shower with perfect water pressure to unknot his weary body and tight muscles.

It was colder in the house compared to his room in the middle of the city, so he put on a sweater on top of his shirt and sweatpants before going back to the kitchen. Jeno hung around the kitchen while Renjun prepared the kimchi stew, asking if he could help with anything. Renjun told him to wash and cut the vegetables—trying to not grimace when he saw the horrible state of the zucchini after he was done.

“Sorry,” Jeno chuckled.

“It’s fine, as long as it’s edible,” Renjun assured him.

Jeno took out the dishes and cutleries from the cupboard for them to use. They clearly hadn’t been used in a long time, so Renjun told him to wash them first.

“It’s my house, but I feel like you know what to do better than me,” Jeno quipped as he washed the dishes.

“It was like you didn’t even live here all this time, honestly,” Renjun retorted.

Jeno didn’t say anything for a while and Renjun started to freak out, afraid he said the wrong thing. He turned around to check Jeno’s reaction, but he got his back on him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” Renjun raked his brain, trying to find anything to say.

“No, it’s fine,” Jeno turned his head to him, smiling. “It’s just… I’m not the one who usually cooks in this house.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry…” Renjun tried to apologize again.

“You do?” Jeno raised his eyebrows, surprised.

“It’s clear someone used to cook a lot here, but you said you can’t cook, so…” Renjun shrugged, letting his conclusion hang up in the air. Jeno’s laugh sounded hollow as he nodded robotically.

“Yeah, it was my ex,” Jeno said curtly, tensed at the word _ex_ , even though he was the one who said it. Jeno distracted himself with plating the side dishes and scooping the rice for both of them.

To fill the silence, Renjun played some music from his phone. Renjun fried the pork belly on the pan because Jeno didn’t have grills, humming to Daniel Caesar’s soft voice from his speaker. Thankfully, Jeno was smiling as he arranged the food on the dining table.

“You have a nice voice,” Jeno praised. Renjun smiled back sheepishly.

Renjun put the plate of the pork belly on the table not long after and sat down in front of Jeno who eagerly took a bite of the meat. The soft sigh Jeno let out as he chewed already told him what he thought of the food.

“Thank you,” Jeno sincerely said to him.

“Just eat,” Renjun huffed with his cheeks flushed.

Jeno opened the bottle of soju and poured both of them a shot, cocking his head toward him, telling him to raise his glass. The clink of their glasses together started their meal in earnest.

Somehow, Renjun started talking about how he ended up in Korea. He loved Korean films and had been admiring Korean filmmakers like Bong Joon Ho and Park Chan Wook. Chungmuro seemed to be more a realistic goal, compared to Hollywood. So Renjun applied to several film schools in Korea and got accepted in one of them, along with a full scholarship.

The conversation moved along smoothly, like they had known each other in a long time. They talked and laughed together, teasing and jokes slipped in between. Maybe because they only talked about easy things, trivial things, but Renjun liked it. Building rapport took time and Renjun was willing to invest his.

The topic changed into their favorite films. They found out they were both into the slice-of-life genre, stories about human relationships, families or friends, but above all, stories about love.

“You said you have a problem with love stories,” Renjun teased with a grin. With two empty soju bottles on the table, Renjun’s lips were loose and his words slurred a little. Jeno was worse, giggling with flushed cheeks.

Jeno hummed in agreement, “I do, but just writing, not watching.”

“What did you watch recently?”

“I watched Call Me By Your Name five times already.”

“Is it still good the fifth time?”

“Yeah, I still cried,” Jeno said nonchalantly. “You know, I never cry when I watch a film before, but I cry a lot now.”

“Because you got your heart broken?” Renjun asked casually.

“Maybe,” Jeno chuckled dryly. His smile didn’t reach his eyes this time. “Have you got your heart broken before?”

Renjun considered avoiding the question, but the atmosphere was just chill enough, relaxed enough, that he found himself slipping. “Yeah, I have,” Renjun admitted.

“What happened?” Jeno prodded.

“I like someone. I thought the person liked me back, but they were just stringing me along,” Renjun shrugged.

Jeno propped his chin with his hand, tilting his head as he stared at Renjun intently. “How did you handle it?” 

“Bad. I was young and it was my first real love, too,” Renjun recalled. For a long time, talking about his first love bothered him so much, but it felt weird now that he felt mostly calm. It was just another memory now, without all the intense emotion attached. “We were friends before, but it ended so badly, we became strangers after that.”

“I can relate to that,” Jeno mused wistfully.

“Was that what happened with your ex?” Renjun dared himself to ask.

“Yeah. I’ve known him practically my whole life and, suddenly, we’re strangers,” Jeno grimaced. “I haven’t even seen him since.”

Renjun wanted to ask what happened, curious about the juicy details, but he didn’t think he earned his right yet, so he kept all his questions to himself. 

All the food and drinks were finished. They could open another bottle of soju, but Renjun decided it was enough for the night. They tidied up and left the dishes on the sink for Jeno to wash in the morning.

Renjun forced himself to climb the stairs, but Jeno settled on the sofa in the living room and turned on the television to a nature documentary, narrated by a shooting voice of an English gentleman.

“Good night, Injun-ah,” Jeno waved at him cutely while covering himself with a fluffy blanket. It brought a genuine smile to Renjun’s face.

“Good night, hyung.”

*

  
The bed in Renjun’s room was so comfortable and the sheet was so soft, he stayed in for another hour after he woke up, just relishing all these pleasant things he rarely got to experience before. He washed up and put on work appropriate clothes, just to put himself on the right mindset.

He went downstairs to make himself coffee, surprised to find Jeno curling up on the sofa, buried in layers of blanket. The whole room was dark because the curtains were still closed. Renjun wasn’t sure whether he should wake Jeno up or not. Maybe he should let him sleep some more.

Renjun put a slice of toast in the toaster and brewed coffee with a french press he found in the cupboard. He brought his breakfast to the backyard and settled on the bench, staring at the mountain absentmindedly. He took his time finishing his meal, but Jeno was still asleep when he was done.

It was almost eleven in the morning. They should have started working hours ago, so he slowly fell to his knees on the carpet to observe Jeno’s face cautiously.

Jeno was good looking from a safe distance, but he was devastatingly beautiful this close. His thick and long eyelashes, the cute mole under his eyes, the fine curve of his lips. It must’ve been nice to kiss those lips.

Renjun snapped out of it immediately. He couldn’t believe he was actually ogling at Jeno like a creep right now. Get a fucking grip, Huang Renjun.

“Hyung…” Renjun called him tentatively. “Jeno hyung.”

Jeno whined softly and covered his face with the blanket, but Renjun wouldn’t give up so easily. After all, Mark told him to take initiative.

“Hyung…” Renjun nudged his arms gently.

“Why?” Jeno rasped.

“Should we start working? It’s almost eleven.”

Finally, Jeno opened his eyes and forced himself to sit up with a dazed look on his face. Renjun got up and slid the curtain open, allowing the sunlight flooding inside the room. Jeno groaned and put his palm over his eyes.

“Sorry,” Renjun faked a grimace. He wasn’t sorry at all. He did it deliberately to wake Jeno up. 

“Why did you sleep here, hyung?” Renjun asked when Jeno just stared blankly at the window. Jeno just shrugged, unwilling to answer.

“Maybe you should take a shower, to freshen up,” Renjun suggested. Jeno finally looked up to him, half annoyed, half amused with his insistence. Slowly, he regained his consciousness, starting by folding his blanket, ignoring Renjun’s persistent gaze, crossing his arms like a mom waiting for her son to wake up. 

“Stop staring,” Jeno snorted as he got up. Jeno dragged himself upstairs and Renjun trailed after him.

“Can you send me the script you’ve written so far first?” Renjun asked cheerfully.

“God, you’re worse than Mark,” Jeno muttered under his breath. He entered the study and powered up his laptop, yawning wide while he waited. Jeno gestured at him, telling him to come closer, showing the entire folder of the files he needed. The plot outlines and the actual draft, titled Last First Love. Is that the film title? Cheesy.

“Um, just read the draft, okay? Don’t read the outline, I need to fix some things,” Jeno murmured, avoiding his eyes for once. Weird. Obviously, Renjun should read the outline first so he knew where Jeno wanted the story to go. Renjun decided he could ask about it after Jeno took a shower.

“Sure,” Renjun nodded.

Jeno waved his hand dismissively and stepped out of the room. Renjun made himself comfortable, opened the draft, and started to read.

*

“So? What do you think?”

Renjun turned around and immediately met Jeno’s gaze as he crossed the room. The answer couldn’t be easily said, to be honest. Jeno pulled the other chair closer so he could sit beside Renjun, his arm nudging Renjun as he tried to look at the screen. Too close, Renjun thought. So close, he got a whiff of mint swirled out of Jeno’s skin.

“It’s still raw,” Renjun said diplomatically, taking Jeno by surprise. He threw his head back and cackled loudly.

“You got guts, huh?” Jeno snorted between laughs.

“I mean,” Renjun couldn’t help giggling along. “It’s unfinished, what do you want me to say? It’s promising, for sure…”

“I sense a but…” Jeno tilted his head to the side.

“I need to know the outline first. Where are you going with this?” If Jeno wouldn’t let him read the outline, Renjun probably needed to coax him to talk instead. “So Hansung and Haejin knew each other for a long time, right?”

“Yeah, they live in the same neighborhood their whole lives. They go to the same school, they were classmates a couple of times,” Jeno nodded. “But they weren’t really close, like, they had their own friends. They rarely hang out together.”

“Do they get along, though, or are they enemies? Because Haejin always teases Hansung,” Renjun asked.

“No, it was just his personality. Haejin likes to tease.”

“Does he tease everyone or just Hansung?”

A playful smile formed on Jeno’s lips. His eyes looked into the distance like he was reminiscing something. “Everyone, but especially Hansung,” he answered softly.

Renjun remembered Jeno told him he knew his ex almost his whole life and he connected the dots right away. It was their story. No wonder Jeno had a hard time continuing writing after they broke up. It must have been really painful to write about their happy memories after the relationship ended. Personally, Renjun would not be able to do it if he was in his shoes.

“So Haejin likes Hansung already?” Renjun concluded.

“Yeah, he had a crush on him since middle school,” Jeno answered.

“What about Hansung?”

“It took awhile for him. He didn’t even know he was gay at that point, not until he and Haejin got closer,” Jeno said.

“So how did they get close?”

“They both like films,” Jeno said. “One night, Hansung went to see a midnight show of a film and met Haejin there. Their seats were next to each other.”

“Fate, huh?” Renjun mused.

“Yeah,” Jeno chuckled.

“After that they watch a lot of films together, especially films their friends didn’t like to watch.”

“What’s the awakening moment?”

“They watched Brokeback Mountain together,” Jeno grinned. “It’s a gay film, right, so it would be weird if anyone found out. They watch it in Hansung’s room, in secret. Jaemin was bawling by the end, saying what was so wrong with being gay?” 

Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed a little as he talked. Renjun noticed the slip of a different name, but he didn’t point it out. It was amusing how Jeno dropped these little details unknowingly. Renjun bet he could find his ex on the internet if he looked hard enough.

“So they talked about it, then Jae…” Jeno caught himself this time, flustered as he hurriedly corrected, “Haejin came out to him and they kissed.”

“Haejin kissed Hansung?” Renjun asked nonchalantly, as if he didn’t spot Jeno’s slip of tongue, nor the faint blush on his cheeks.

“Yeah.”

“Cute,” Renjun grinned, biting back his laugh. “What’s the catch, then? There had to be one, right?”

“Parents, you know,” Jeno shrugged. “They didn’t want Hansung to go to film school. They thought Haejin was a bad influence.”

“What’s Hansung parents do?”

“Doctors. His whole family are doctors.”

“Is this like a chaebol situation? Do they have a hospital and want Hansung to take over?” Renjun asked, couldn’t help the mocking tone.

“No, come on, it’s not a soap opera,” Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Do they know there’s something going on between Hansung and Haejin?”

“I haven’t decided, actually. What do you think?”

“Is it too much like a drama if the parents were involved?” Renjun wrinkled his nose at the thought. The last thing he wanted to do was write a cliche romcom.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” Jeno agreed right away. “I want the vibe to be like House of Hummingbird, have you watched it?”

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded. A high standard to try to match to, but in hindsight, Jeno had won against the screenwriter of House of Hummingbird in Baeksang this year. “So, you want to focus on the characters.”

Jeno hummed in agreement, “Yeah, I don’t want the parents to distract the viewers from the main point of the story.”

“Which was?” Renjun raised his eyebrows in question.

“Love,” Jeno answered, like it was obvious. “Gay love, but love nonetheless.”

*

They brought their discussion to the kitchen since Jeno skipped breakfast and he said he was too hungry to think. Renjun cooked them stir fried chicken while Jeno finally washed the dishes from last night.

“I think you need to buy a bigger pan, hyung. This one is too small,” Renjun complained. “Or better yet, a wok.”

“Just buy one online, I’ll pay for it,” Jeno said offhandedly. Renjun already knew which one he would buy. He already had the pan in his wishlist in Gmarket.

After Renjun was done, they ate directly from the pan because Jeno couldn’t be bothered with more dishes to wash. 

“I think the parents need to know,” Renjun said, suddenly starting the conversation again. Jeno considered it for a second, chewing his food as he did.

“Do your parents know, hyung?” Renjun prodded. Jeno nodded. “Did you tell them?”

“No, I got caught,” Jeno shrugged. He told him his mom caught him watching gay porn in his room when he was still in high school. She chose to pretend nothing happened instead of addressing it. In the end, Jeno came out to his parents when his relationship became more serious. They weren’t against it, but they still told him to keep it a secret from their friends and relatives.

“They don’t accept my sexuality, just tolerating it, I guess,” Jeno shrugged.

“But they don’t try to set you up with girls or anything like that?” Renjun asked. Because that was what his mom did, as if he could miraculously find girls attractive if they were pretty or nice enough.

“Is that what your parents did?” Jeno asked. It was Renjun’s turn to be flustered. Maybe his emotion was just as transparent as Jeno’s.

“Yeah,” Renjun admitted sheepishly.

“Okay, just to be clear, are you gay?” Jeno asked. 

Renjun paused for a second, still having the urge to avoid the topic, like a survival instinct. Probably because he always had to hide it in a professional setting before. Although, this thing with Jeno felt more and more like a hang out, instead of work. So, boundaries be damned.

“I am,” Renjun nodded.

“Dude, you could’ve said so from the beginning,” Jeno tsked with annoyance. Renjun simply scoffed instead of responding at the retort.

“Anyway, parents? What do you think?” Renjun brought them back on track.

“Tell me why the parents need to know first,” Jeno challenged.

“To make it real,” Renjun argued. “Hansung and Haejin’s story couldn’t exist in some alternate reality where gay relationship is acceptable in Korean society. The audience needs to know what’s at stake.”

“But are their parents going to forcefully break them apart? I don’t want that,” Jeno shook his head. “This story needs a happy ending.”

“It doesn’t have to be that extreme,” Renjun mused thoughtfully. “It can be like your parents’ reaction, ignoring it. Or my mom’s, praying it away.”

“She did?” Jeno grimaced. “Did she try to exorcist you or something?”

“No, she just went to the temple a lot,” Renjun scoffed. His mom blamed herself for it, believing the lack of a man’s presence in Renjun’s life drove him to homosexuality. It was absurd, of course, but no matter what Renjun said, mom wouldn’t change her mind.

“Maybe, Hansung parents are against it, but Haejin’s parents can be more accepting,” Jeno mulled over the idea.

“You really want it to be hopeful, huh?” Renjun asked, smiling.

“Of course. We had enough sad gay stories in films. I want this one to be happy,” Jeno scoffed.

“Even though you still couldn’t write it yourself?” Renjun quipped. Jeno rolled his eyes.

“I just want something that gay kids can relate to, you know. I want it to be a source of comfort, so they know we can have a normal and happy relationship,” Jeno continued, completely ignoring Renjun’s tease.

“Of course, hyung. I get that. I want that too,” Renjun reassured him. “But relationships in high school don't really last in reality.”

“Mine does,” Jeno said.

“Really?” Renjun actually gasped in shock. “So you dated your ex for what… ten years?”

“Yeah, more or less.”

“It must’ve been hard,” Renjun frowned, genuinely sympathetic to his sorrow, even though he personally couldn’t relate to it. He never had a serious relationship before. Only flings, mostly.

Renjun thought Jeno would change the topic as usual, but he didn’t this time. Instead, he admitted, “Yeah, it was.”

“How long has it been, if I may ask?”

“Seven months,” Jeno replied, as if he had been counting the days—he probably had. “But, it ended long before that, so maybe about a year.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Renjun asked cautiously, not just because he felt like he had to, but also because it seemed like Jeno needed it.

“Maybe later,” Jeno smiled to assure him he was fine, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Renjun nodded to respect his wish and put aside the topic for now.

“So what’s the conclusion?” Renjun kept his tone light to ease the heaviness in the air.

“I don’t know,” Jeno shrugged. “Do we have to decide now?”

“Of course not,” Renjun retorted. “But, we can discuss it.”

“I feel like, because I started this story based on my personal experience, it’s limiting me, in a way. Like, it started being too close to home and I can’t deviate the story from it,” Jeno said. “If you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, well, I’m here for you to help you get over it,” Renjun said, without thinking over how it would sound. Jeno tilted his head to the side, smiling softly. Renjun looked down sheepishly, pretended to be busy with his rice.

“If it was your story, how would you end it?” 

Renjun mulled over it for a second. “Hansung didn’t really know he was gay, right? The first kiss with Haejin was just a spur of the moment kind of thing.”

“Wait…” Jeno pulled out his phone and started an audio recording. “Okay, continue.”

“Will he accept his attraction to Haejin right away?”

“Deny, of course.”

“So their budding friendship was strained. Hansung avoids Haejin for a while. I think Haejin would be the one who puts it to stop.”

“No, it had to be Hansung. Haejin was too considerate. He would want to give Hansung some space,” Jeno gestured with air quotes while he said space.

“So they would talk?” 

“Let’s face it, they’d probably just start making out right away,” Jeno snorted.

“Yeah they would,” Renjun chuckled.

Jeno giggled lightheartedly. “God, this is like every gay teenagers ever.”

“So they just mess around. I don’t know how explicit the scenes should be…” Renjun quipped, making Jeno snickered.

“Let’s keep it mild so teenagers can watch it,” Jeno said.

“Right, so they make out a lot and confess their undying love to each other,” Renjun continued, grinning.

“Then their parents found out,” Jeno added ominously. “I think they should ignore him and he just drowned in his anxiety about the whole thing.”

“That’s what happened to you?”

“No,” Jeno chuckled. “I don’t really care what my mom thought. I just did whatever I wanted.”

He stopped the recording, just before his phone rang for a call, then showed the screen to Renjun. It was Mark.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Jeno greeted as he took the call. “We’re talking about the outline, actually…. Oh, fuck off…”

“Yah, he wanted to talk to you,” Jeno gave the phone to Renjun.

“Yes, hyung,” Renjun took the phone.

“You started writing?” Mark asked, sounded suspicious. 

“Not really, we’re still talking. Jeno hyung wouldn’t let me read his outline,” Renjun exposed him. Jeno just scoffed at him.

“It was probably just full of sappy stuff about him and Jaemin,” Mark mocked fondly. So that was really Jeno’s ex name. Maybe he should look him up later, just to satisfy his curiosity.

Jeno picked up the pan, still half filled with stir chicken, asking Renjun what to do with it.

“Put it in a container and store in the fridge. I’ll heat it up for dinner,” Renjun instructed.

“Thank you, you’re a God sent,” Jeno cheered exaggeratedly.

“You even cook for him?” Mark asked in disbelief. “You’re practically babysitting him now.”

“We’ll start writing soon, hyung. I won’t let him slack off,” Renjun assured him, ignoring his comment.

“I heard that!” Jeno exclaimed.

“Okay, I trust you,” Mark said before ending the call. Jeno was making coffee for himself, throwing a questioning look to Renjun, asking if he wanted some. Renjun nodded.

“Should we start writing now?” Renjun asked. Jeno pouted a little, clearly reluctant. “At least the outline first.”

“Let’s do it tomorrow,” Jeno tried to negotiate.

“Or I can write it, just send me the recording,” Renjun said. Jeno considered it for a second, but it was clear that he wouldn’t want to slack off while Renjun worked, so he complied and nodded. The recording was emailed to Renjun immediately.

“Wash the dishes first,” Renjun gestured at the dirty bowls on the dining table.

“Okay, boss,” Jeno replied playfully.

Renjun poured his cup of coffee and took it to the study. He used his own laptop to note down the outline while he listened to the recording, then adding his own ideas for Jeno to read. Jeno appeared a few minutes later, bearing his own cup of coffee.

“Have you ever written a script with someone else?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah, in uni,” Renjun nodded.

“How does it work?”

“Make a detailed outline, then divide the parts,” Renjun answered simply. 

He suddenly remembered something he learned from his classmate in the creative writing class he took years ago. “Hyung, do you know the sticky notes method?”

When Jeno shook his head, Renjun explained it to him. They wrote down each plot point or idea on a sticky note and used them to build the outline. Renjun actually used the method to write Midnight Sun. He arranged the notes on one of the walls in his semi-basement room and wrote his screenplay while staring at them.

“Sounds like a nightmare,” Jeno snorted.

“But, it’s so easy to write after that, because the whole story is literally in your face,” Renjun defended himself.

“You’re a bit of a masochist, aren’t you?” Jeno jokes. Renjun rolled his eyes at the suggestive tone.

“Let’s try it first and scrap it if it doesn’t work,” Renjun coaxed him to agree.

“Alright,” Jeno sighed. Renjun grinned and ran to his room to fetch the sticky notes. They spent the whole afternoon talking and arguing about the plot until they covered the whole wall with colorful notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this whole chapter is just dialogue after dialogue. I hope it didn't get too tedious.


	3. Safe and Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took so long because I complete rewrote everything halfway (also I started a new job but that's less important). I ended up unleashing The Clingy Jeno full on for you guys and Renjun to enjoy hehe.
> 
> Also, I finally decided on the rating, so I upped it to mature. There's a little bit of a mature scene where Renjun jerked himself off. If you want to skip it, it started with 'He really, really needed to get off' until the asterisk mark.

“Let’s take a break,” Jeno said.

After the outline was finished, both of them finally started writing. Jeno completely rewrote the first act, while Renjun started the second act. They had not decided on the third act yet. They had two options for now, with completely different endings. It was unclear how different the story had become from the real-life story of Jeno and Jaemin. Renjun was curious, but Jeno never brought up the topic again.

Renjun established a routine for himself, writing by day and watching shit moves with Jeno by night. Jeno didn’t write everyday, but he did write. Sometimes he just sat in the study with Renjun and played a game on his phone, but he always spent time in the same room with Renjun even when they did different things, as if he needed the company.

“You’re not even writing,” Renjun scoffed.

“I’m bored,” Jeno complained.

“What do you want to do?” Renjun asked without even looking from his screen, still finishing up a scene.

“I don’t know…” Jeno shrugged. Renjun hummed and continued writing. “Do you want to buy pizza for dinner?”

“I forgot to tell you, hyung,” Renjun said as he typed. “I’m going out tonight.”

“Oh, really?” Jeno mumbled. “Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to my friend’s place,” Renjun answered.

“Donghyuck?”

“No, my Chinese friends. We all went to the same uni. Some of them still stay here, so we meet from time to time,” Renjun explained. “I might stay over, just letting you know.”

That last part was a lie. Renjun planned to go back to his semi-basement room instead of going back here, since it would probably be late when they’re done. Also, he just wanted some time alone after being with Jeno for almost 24 hours a day, a little more than a week now.

“Okay,” Jeno said in a low voice, like he was dejected by the fact that Renjun was leaving. He tried to not dwell on it too much.

“What topping do you think I should order?” Jeno rolled his chair closer, so close his arm brushed onto Renjun’s in his effort to show his phone screen. His question disrupted Renjun’s train of thought mid-sentence and he forgot what he was about to write.

Renjun sighed and looked at his phone. He always preferred simple toppings in a pizza—none of those over-the-top four toppings in one pan.

“What about black angus steak?” Jeno asked.

“I think the simpler toppings are better,” Renjun said.

“But more toppings are more delicious,” Jeno argued.

“Then why do you ask for my opinion? Just choose the one you like,” Renjun scoffed.

“Whoa, cranky today, aren’t we?” Jeno teased.

Renjun didn’t know when he started being this comfortable with Jeno. He didn’t hold back like he used to, instead of choosing to unleash his real personality in Jeno’s presence, even his most prickly state. Blessedly, Jeno never took it to heart, instead chose to keep pestering Renjun when he wanted his attention.

“Just let me finish this, don’t talk to me,” Renjun requested, gentler this time.

“Alright,” Jeno huffed, but he still sat there right beside Renjun, the weight of his gaze boring hole in his cheeks.

“Hyung,” Renjun gave him a stern warning.

“What? I can’t even look at you?” Jeno challenged.

Renjun ignored him and finally finished the scene a few minutes later. He saved the file and stretched his arms as he waited.

“Done?” Jeno asked. Renjun’s phone buzzed with a message from Donghyuck. He picked it up and checked the messages absentmindedly. The first two lines sent a jolt right into his heart and he swiftly put the phone down so Jeno couldn’t see his screen.

“Why?” Jeno asked, curious. “Who is it?”

“Nothing,” Renjun answered curtly. He turned off his laptop and got up to go to his room, finally reading Donghyuck’s texts after Jeno was out of his sight.

Donghyuck

>Yah

>I found Lee Jeno’s ex

>https://www.instagram.com/na.jaemin0813/

>He went to our uni, same year as Jeno and Mark

>He works in tvn now, drama PD

Renjun

>How tf did you find him?

Donghyuck

>I asked around

>Turned out sungchan worked with him before

>Ur welcome btw

Renjun

>Thanks I guess

Donghyuck

>He’s like really pretty

>So don’t be jealous

Renjun

>Why would I be?

>Should I ask Jeno about Mark's ex?

Donghyuck

>kkkkkk

Renjun snickered and opened the Instagram page Donghyuck sent. Na Jaemin. He was fucking gorgeous too, with bright eyes and a friendly smile. His Instagram page was full of travel pictures, buildings and landscapes instead of his own face, but when Renjun scrolled deep enough, he found several photos of them in one post.

Jeno’s picture, sitting in the backyard, smiling at the camera. Jaemin posted it almost two years ago, with the caption ‘today is yours’. Renjun checked the date. 23 April. Maybe Jeno’s birthday. He slid his finger over his screen and a picture of the two of them in front of the house filled his screen.

A strange feeling washed over him as he stared at Jeno and Jaemin happy smiles. Jaemin’s arm draped over Jeno’s shoulder affectionately. Jeno was turning his entire body slightly to Jaemin, like he was enraptured by him. Renjun never saw him that happy before. Jeno’s smile he came to know felt hollow in comparison.

There was no good thinking about this too much. He left his phone on the bed and got ready to leave.

When he emerged from his room, wearing neutral color to match the fall season, Jeno was on his phone, sitting on the sofa and pointedly ignoring the mindless variety show on the television screen.

Jeno looked up to him, eyes drooping like a puppy begging his owner to bring him out together with him.

“When will you be back?” Jeno asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Renjun shrugged.

“Just let me know, will you?” Jeno urged. When Renjun didn’t say anything, he added, “Just so I know what to do for lunch.”

“Alright,” Renjun nodded. “See you tomorrow, hyung.”

“Yeah, see you,” Jeno smiled, more polite than friendly. Renjun suddenly felt bad for leaving him alone with such short notice. He had to remind himself that this was Jeno’s house and he had been living here alone for at least a year. He had been doing well without him before and he would continue to do well long after he’s gone.

Renjun stepped out of the house and walked to the bus stop. It was easy because he was walking down the slope, but he imagined it would be hard to climb uphill when he got back tomorrow.

An hour later, he knocked on Kun’s door, grinning as the older man gave him a hug as soon as he opened the door. Inside, Chenle and Yangyang were talking loudly in Mandarin, apparently to Sicheng, Dejun and Kunhang via Facetime.

“Hi, guys,” Renjun peeked over Chenle’s shoulders to greet them.

“Renjun!”

“You just arrived?”

“Yeah,” Renjun waved at them. The three of them went back to China after they graduated. Renjun hadn’t talked to them in person since.

“Where’s Xuxi?” Renjun asked.

“He has a photoshoot,” Kun was the one who answered. “He’ll call later after he’s done.”

After the call, they finally started making the huoguo which Renjun had been craving so much lately, then they rounded up the meal with a bottle of baijiu Chenle brought from his trip back home last week. The conversation never even had so much of a pause in between. They never ran out of topics to talk about, one of them was, of course, Renjun’s new job.

“You’re really living with your boss? Isn’t it weird?” Yangyang asked.

“He’s not my boss,” Renjun rolled his eyes. “It is weird, at first, but it’s fine once we get used to each other.”

“Are you going back to his place after this?”

“No, it’s fucking far. I’ll just go home.”

“Renjun, your phone is ringing,” Kun pointed at his phone. It was Yukhei. Yangyang and Chenle exchanged a meaningful glance and grinned.

“What?” Renjun scoffed.

“Nothing,” Chenle shrugged.

“Hi, Xuxi,” Renjun picked up the call.

“Hi, sorry, the photoshoot is taking longer than I thought. You’re still in Kun-ge’s house?” Yukhei asked, sounded urgent like he was in a hurry.

“Yeah, do you want to say hello to everyone?” Renjun asked. “I’ll put you on speaker.”

“Wait.”

Someone called him on the other side and Renjun could hear them talking faintly. Yangyang threw him an inquiring look and Renjun just shrugged.

“Sorry, I have to go. Say hi to the guys for me, will you?” Yukhei told him.

“Yeah, of course,” Renjun said.

“I’m coming to Seoul in two weeks, by the way. We should meet if you’re not busy.”

“Yeah, just let me know when.”

“Okay, I really have to go now,” Yukhei hung up the phone unceremoniously. Renjun scoffed and put the phone down on the table.

“He called just to talk to you, huh?” Chenle teased.

“No, he’s just busy.”

Yangyang hummed annoyingly and Renjun rolled his eyes. Good God. Renjun only made out with Xuxi one time a few months ago when they were drunk, and they wouldn’t let him live it down ever since.

“He’s coming to Seoul,” Renjun told them, changing the topic. “He said we should meet.”

“You two should meet, he meant?” Yangyang raised his eyebrows. Renjun huffed and chose to not grace him with an answer to get them off his back.

They watched a film after they finished their meal, each still nursing a glass of baijiu. Renjun settled snugly between Kun and Chenle, leaning on Kun’s shoulder for warmth. These guys were probably the only people in this city he could be this comfortable with. He couldn’t even be this clingy with Donghyuck. He considered Donghyuck his best friend, but he was, well, not really affectionate that way.

His phone buzzed with a text from Jeno. _Injun-ah, you’re still in your friend’s place?_

Renjun stared at his screen for a few seconds, wondering what he should say to him.

“He called you Injun?” Kun asked behind him.

“Yeah,” Renjun chuckled nervously and put his phone back into his pocket. Kun didn’t comment further, but somehow his eyes already said so much.

More than anything, Kun’s silence embarrassed him the most. It wasn’t lighthearted like Yangyang and Chenle’s jokes about Yukhei. It was as if Kun thought he shouldn’t pry because it looked like there was something going on between him and Jeno.

“It was nothing. I told him how my name translates to Korean because it was easier,” Renjun tried to explain so he wouldn't misunderstand.

“Okay,” Kun nodded coolly.

Fuck, now Renjun was even more embarrassed for overreacting. It was better if he kept his mouth shut.

Later in the night, after Renjun said goodbye to his friends, boarded the taxi to his place and got home safely, he finally answered Jeno’s text.

Renjun

>Yeah Im staying over

Lee Jeno

>What time will you come back tomorrow?

Renjun

>I dont kno hyung tbh

>I drnk a lot

>Probably hungover tomorow

Lee Jeno

>You did?

>Should I pick you up?

Renjun

>No its fine

Lee Jeno

>You sure?

>I don’t mind

Renjun was too drunk for this conversation. His eyelids were heavy, too hard to keep them open. Renjun only managed to take off his coat before slumping on the bed and fell asleep right away.

*

It was high noon when Renjun woke up with a massive migraine. He crawled out of the bed and rummaged through his drawers to find some painkillers. After gulping one down, he dragged himself to the bathroom and took a shower, massaging his temple under the hot water.

His headache eased a little as he dried himself and put on some clothes. He dived under the comforter, seeking for warmth the electric heater under the bed provided. He finally reached for his phone and checked his messages.

Three texts from Jeno, one from Mark and one from Donghyuck. He chose to open Donghyuck’s text first.

Donghyuck

>You’re in the city? I saw Chenle’s instastory. Should we have brunch?

Renjun

>Just woke up. Up for lunch?

Donghyuck

>Ok, I’m already in your neighborhood

He read Mark’s text next, asking to meet if Renjun was still nearby, if not he asked Renjun to call him.

Renjun

>Yah, I have to go to my office first

Donghyuck

>Well, I’m in your office right now

Renjun

>What are you doing there?

Donghyuck didn’t answer, so Renjun quickly changed his pajama pants to a pair of jeans and put on a hoodie over his t-shirt. Only twenty minutes later, Renjun was sipping his coffee near the meeting room in the Resonance office, waiting for Mark to finish his other meeting. He was surprised when the first person emerged out of the room was Donghyuck.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asked.

“My agency got me casted for a music video,” Donghyuck shrugged.

“Who’s the director?” Renjun prodded. Donghyuck sighed and shook his head incredulously.

“Renjun, come on,” Mark appeared behind Donghyuck, gesturing for him to come inside. Renjun gasped scandalously as soon as Mark was out of earshot. He chuckled when Donghyuck glared at him.

“The universe really wants you to be together, huh?” Renjun whispered as he passed by Donghyuck to step inside. Donghyuck snorted loudly before leaving the room and closed the door behind him.

“I didn’t know you direct music videos,” Renjun chimed as he took a seat in front of Mark.

“It’s a favor. I know the artist,” Mark sighed.

“Who is it?”

“Lee Taeyong.” Mark said it like he was some unknown artist, as if Taeyong wasn’t the biggest musician in the industry right now, with ten years into his career and countless hits under his belt.

“Will Donghyuck be in a scene with Taeyong-ssi?” Renjun asked, excited for his friend.

“No, Lee Haechan-ssi would be alone in all the scenes,” Mark answered politely, no doubt using his stage name to put enough distance between them to be professional.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Renjun asked.

“How’s the script coming along?” Mark inquired right away.

“Fine. We made quite a progress. The outline was finished. I can send you the draft if you want,” Renjun said.

“No, I’ll wait until you finish,” Mark shook his head hurriedly. “Are Jeno doing okay?”

“Yeah, I think,” Renjun nodded. “Or at least, from what I can see.”

“Can you update me every once a while? Maybe two or three times a week?”

Renjun didn’t know what to say about that. It felt weird, like Mark was asking him to spy on Jeno.

“Okay, but I won’t do it behind Jeno’s back,” Renjun complied right away.

“I didn’t ask you to, Jesus. You can tell Jeno if you want,” Mark scoffed, shaking his head and clicking his tongue. “You and your suspicion.”

“Sorry,” Renjun grimaced.

“I think it’s about time you start to trust me, Renjun-ah,” Mark scratched his eyebrow in exasperation. “You know Jeno for what, two weeks, and you trusted him more already, it seemed.”

Renjun’s face must have been completely red after being called out like that. He really should start trusting people and if he could not do that, he better kept his mouth shut.

“I’ll try,” Renjun said curtly, too embarrassed to make an excuse for himself.

“Okay, thanks, Renjun-ah.”

Renjun left the room and cocked his head toward Donghyuck, asking him to leave. Donghyuck trailed after him and agreed immediately when Renjun suggested hangover soup for lunch.

“Can you believe I ran into Mark again? It’s like he’s haunting me or something,” Donghyuck shook his head in disbelief.

“What actually happened between you and him? Tell me in detail,” Renjun demanded.

“We had sex, like, that’s all. I mean, it was great—probably the best sex I ever had—but we never talked after that. I didn’t even have his number,” Donghyuck shrugged.

That statement, however nonchalant Donghyuck wanted it to appear to be, was charged with something Renjun recognized. Donghyuck was always reluctant to show his true emotion, preferred to feign ignorance to avoid complicated feelings. When Donghyuck fell in love, though, he fell hard, recklessly and without abandon. Always living in the extreme, Donghyuck was.

“Do you want to talk to him, though?” Renjun asked. “Because, the last time I saw him, he looked like wanted to talk to you.”

“Talk about what?” Donghyuck scoffed.

“I don’t know man, don’t ask me,” Renjun scoffed back.

“Well, he has my number now, he could hit me up if he wants to,” Donghyuck said dismissively.

“But you work together now, will it be weird?” Renjun raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, obviously?” Donghyuck snorted. “So, I figure it’s better to just pretend the whole thing never happened.”

Renjun hummed and focused back on his stew, finishing them in no time. With his stomach filled, Renjun felt so much better. His hangover was almost gone. He checked his phone absentmindedly, shocked when he remembered he hadn’t even read Jeno’s texts.

Lee Jeno

>Injun-ah, are you doing okay?

>Text me when you get this

>I can pick you up if you need me

Renjun

>Hyung, sorry I totally forgot to reply

>I’m fine, just a little headache

>I dropped by the office earlier and I’ll go back after lunch

>I don’t want to trouble you, I’ll just take a bus

The second he sent the last text, a call from Jeno went through and his phone rang to notify him.

“Hello?” Renjun picked up quickly.

“Hi, are you still in the office?” Jeno asked straight away. His voice sounded deeper on the phone, startling Renjun.

“No, I’m having lunch with Donghyuck. Why?”

“I have a business in the office, so I’m on the way there right now. Do you want to go back home together?” Jeno offered, surprising Renjun one more time. The way he said it, like an afterthought, sent tingles all over his body. _Go back home_ , like Renjun was more than just a writing partner.

“Oh,” Renjun said dumbly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll go back to the office after I’m done.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later, Injun-ah,” Jeno said cheerfully and ended the call.

Renjun only belatedly caught the scrutinizing gaze of Donghyuck once he put down his phone. He could almost hear the wicked brain of his friend whirring frantically, plotting for something.

“Jeno?” Donghyuck asked. Renjun nodded without a word. “What did he say that made you blush like that?”

“I... I didn’t blush!” Renjun stammered. Donghyuck raised his eyebrow and Renjun knew he was caught dead in his not-so-subtle trap. The inside of his stomach squirmed uncomfortably with the realization.

“Honestly, who are you kidding here?” Donghyuck snorted.

“Fuck,” Renjun resigned right away, shoving his face into the crook of his arms.

Donghyuck’s shoulders shook with a burst of laughter, clearly enjoying seeing how flustered Renjun was. Honestly, Renjun just wanted to drop dead so he could avoid discussing his attraction to Jeno.

“So?” Donghyuck said conversationally.

“He’s so fucking hot and so fucking nice and I can’t stand him,” Renjun summed it up for him.

“Really?” Donghyuck chuckled.

“Also, he’s so touchy and he sits too close, I can smell his fucking peppermint shampoo. When we watch something, he sits right next to me, even though the sofa’s huge,” Renjun couldn’t stop himself babbling away once he started.

“But, clearly, he hasn’t got over his ex, so I feel like it was just his personality. He’s just… clingy like that. It wasn’t necessarily because he’s attracted to me,” Renjun sighed, feeling a twinge in his heart just by admitting the fact. The implication wasn’t lost on him. He wanted Jeno to be attracted to him, to be affected with every little thing he did, just like Renjun was.

“Only a week and you're already this gone?” Donghyuck scoffed in disbelief.

“We’re together all the time, dude. It’s like—I don’t know— months of flirting condensed into a week,” Renjun sighed.

“Flirt for real, then,” Donghyuck urged. Like it was easy, like it was not unprofessional.

“We work together,” Renjun shook his head. “This is a big deal. I can’t fuck up a project just because he’s too hot for me to handle.”

“Just get away from the house as often as you can. You don’t have to stay there all the time, right?” Donghyuck suggested. “Or do you want to tag along with the music video shooting? It’s in Yangyang. We can rent a villa together for the weekend or something.”

“Yeah, sure,” Renjun nodded. It was a great idea, actually. Renjun hadn’t really had a break in a long while. “When’s the shooting?”

“This weekend.”

“Okay. I’ll look up the villas in the area.”

They parted with a promise of a trip together and Renjun walked back to his office, both looking forward and dreading the thought of seeing Jeno again. It was honestly embarrassing how he was so fucking easy for the other man. Jeno didn’t even do anything, not really, but he was already this riled up.

Jeno’s black SUV was already parked in front of the office when he arrived. He was about to call Jeno’s phone, but he needed more time away from him. He entered the building, visited the editing room instead, expecting to see Yerim, and found her right away.

“Renjun-ah!” Yerim chirped as soon as he peeked inside the room, grinning. “What are you doing here?”

“Had a meeting with Mark,” Renjun said.

“You’re doing okay with the script?” Yerim paused her work, turning to face Renjun as he sat down beside her.

“Yeah, it’s coming along. Jeno started writing again, so we’re getting there.”

“I heard you’re staying over in Jeno’s house while you write?” Yerim asked. Renjun sighed and nodded. “I saw your Instastory. Jeno’s house looked fancy.”

“It is fancy,” Renjun chuckled. “I feel like I’m staying in a five-star hotel, honestly.”

“You’re going back to his house after this?”

“Yeah, I should,” Renjun lamented. Yerim let him be and focused back on her work. Renjun watched the familiar scene played on the screen. It looked good, honestly. He couldn’t wait to watch the finished film later.

He still wanted to hide here, but when Minho, Yerim’s editor, came back later, he had no choice but to leave the room. He sent a text to Jeno, letting him know he was already in the office. No answer from Jeno, but he didn’t need one since he ran into him and Mark in the lobby.

“Oh, speaking of the devil!” Mark gestured at Renjun to come over. Jeno’s eyes widened, taken aback by Mark’s words.

“What are you doing?” Jeno grabbed his arm and whispered to him, but it was still loud enough for Renjun to hear. What the hell did they say about Renjun before he came? Renjun felt uneasy all of the sudden.

“I told Jeno you’re updating me about your work twice a week, is that good enough, Renjun-ah?” Mark ignored Jeno and talked directly to Renjun.

“Yeah, hyung, sorry,” Renjun apologized again. 

“Should we go?” Jeno said in a hurry. “We don’t want to be caught in the traffic.”

“Hyung, can we stop by the supermarket on the way? We ran out of groceries.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Mark threw him a meaningful glance, but Jeno avoided his eyes in retaliation. Their dynamic reminded Renjun so much of his own friendship with Donghyuck. Although, honestly, no one else could match the chaotic energy that Donghyuck carried everywhere with him.

“Come on,” Jeno put his hand on Renjun’s back with ease. His touch felt like it was searing hot through the layer of clothes he was wearing. Renjun tried hard not to flinch.

“What brought you to the office, hyung?” Renjun couldn’t help asking after they climbed inside Jeno’s car.

“Just… a meeting,” Jeno answered vaguely, looking away from Renjun as he checked the side mirror before driving the car away.

“With Mark hyung?” Renjun kept prodding.

“No, with Johnny hyung,” Jeno said. Johnny Suh was the director of Resonance Pictures. Renjun never really talked to the man beyond a greeting when he passed him by in the office.

The trip back and the visit to the supermarket was uneventful. Jeno told Renjun to sit back while he took care of the groceries, so he sat down in the living room.

Next thing he knew, he was lying down on the sofa, covered in the same blanket Jeno always used. He was on his side, facing Jeno who was sitting right next to him. Jeno reached out his hand almost absentmindedly—his eyes didn’t even leave the television screen—and started to pat Renjun’s head, carding his fingers through his hair.

Renjun was tense with surprise, torn between letting Jeno know he was up or just staying still and enjoying his touch some more. He chose to not move even an inch, closing his eyes again and willing his expression back to neutral.

Jeno caressed the top of his head with his fingers, slowly, gently. It did feel good, soothing almost. It was hard not to stay awake once he relaxed, so he let go and drifted back to sleep.

*

They went back to writing for the week. Somehow, Jeno suddenly got so much more productive. He had no problem writing for the whole day now, even stayed in the study longer than Renjun to finish some scenes.

“I’ll forget about it if I don’t write this right away,” Jeno said, so Renjun let him be.

After dinner, Jeno took a nap in the living room, probably exhausted after writing for the whole day, instead of pestering Renjun to watch something like he used to. Renjun should’ve been relieved honestly. He got the distance he wanted, but he missed him instead. Even when he sat on the same sofa Jeno was sleeping on. He missed him.

*

After Renjun finished writing for the day, he changed into his pajamas before he went downstairs to prepare their dinner. Jeno was already standing in the kitchen, staring at the fridge blankly.

“What are you doing, hyung?” Renjun asked, startling Jeno.

“Um…” Jeno paused, before grinning, “I forgot.”

“What do you want to eat tonight?” Renjun asked.

“Just something easy?” Jeno suggested.

“Kimchi fried rice okay?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded quickly. They prepared it quickly. Renjun made the fried rice, while Jeno fried some eggs and sausages.

“I feel like drinking tonight, what about you?” Jeno asked while they put the dishes on the table. Renjun still remembered his hungover from a few days ago, so he shook his head.

“Go ahead, if you want,” Renjun gestured to urge him to drink if he wanted to. Jeno stood up and took a bottle of soju from the fridge.

“Do you want some?” Jeno asked as he picked up the glass from the cupboard. Renjun frowned and shook his head. Jeno poured one for both of them, anyway, clinked the glasses together and downed the shot in one try. Half the bottle was gone in no time.

“Slow down, hyung,” Renjun warned him, worried.

“I also drank when you were gone,” Jeno already slurred his words even though he hadn’t drunk that much.

“Alone? That’s so sad,” Renjun teased.

“Well, you left me, so what else should I do?” Jeno pouted. What could Renjun possibly say to respond to that?

“What would you do if I move out, hyung?” Renjun joked.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” Jeno sighed wistfully. Was he being serious? Renjun couldn’t tell. “It’s going to feel too lonely here without you.”

That didn’t help at all, Renjun thought. He would rather not answer that, so he finished his meal—even the alcohol. When he stood up to put his dishes on the sink, Jeno frowned.

“Where are you going?” Jeno asked.

“Sleep, I’m kind of tired,” Renjun lied without missing a beat. He practically ran upstairs without waiting for Jeno to answer. Lying down on his bed, he regretted how he handled the whole thing, but he made his bed and now he had to lie on it.

He buried his face on the pillow, covered himself with the blanket and willing himself to sleep.

*

Renjun woke up at the dead of the night. He dragged himself to the bathroom and took a leak, still half asleep. Before he got back to bed, he could hear the faint sound of the television from the living room.

What time is it? Jeno is still up? Renjun picked up his phone from the nightstand. Three in the morning.

Renjun climbed down the stairs. He could see the television was on from the landing on the stairs, even though the lights were all turned off. A white shape on the corner of the sofa gave him a fright as he got down. It was just Jeno, sleeping in the weirdest position, half sitting, half lying down, wearing a white shirt with a white blanket thrown carelessly over his legs. He was shivering, clearly cold. The living room was indeed freezing at this hour and the heater was turned off.

Renjun turned off the television and sat down next to Jeno, patting his knee to wake him up.

“Hyung, sleep in your room, why do you keep sleeping here?” Renjun asked. Jeno stirred a little and opened his eyes. His gaze was unfocused, like he was looking through Renjun, even though his eyes were on him.

“Hey…” Jeno called softly, almost like a whisper. Renjun could smell the alcohol in his breath. Jeno was drunk and half asleep, a really bad combination. Renjun should just scram, honestly, but he felt bad leaving him out cold like this.

“Jeno hyung,” Renjun repeated sternly.

Jeno leaned closer, getting so close his warm breath blew right in his face. Jeno put his head on his shoulders, still shivering from the cold. Renjun reached for the blanket on the sofa to cover him up, but Jeno must’ve mistaken the gesture for a hug because he wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed his lips on his neck. The proximity made Renjun’s poor heart skip a beat.

“Hyung,” Renjun tried to warn him.

“Why do you keep calling me hyung?” Jeno asked. His voice was hoarse from sleep.

“I’m Renjun, hyung,” Renjun said weakly. Jeno only hummed. His hazy brain probably couldn’t process what Renjun was saying.

“Should we go upstairs?” Renjun tried again.

“Okay.”

“Let’s get you up,” Renjun held onto his side and hoisted him up slowly, letting him rest half his weight on him. Jeno kept his arm around him as Renjun dragged him to the stair. Thankfully, Jeno could climb the stairs himself, but he wouldn’t budge when Renjun directed him toward his room.

“I can’t sleep there,” Jeno said, gesturing toward Renjun’s room instead. “Let’s sleep there.”

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” Renjun snorted, ignoring Jeno and pulled him toward his room anyway.

It was clean and tidy, not even a single spot was out of place. The bed was impeccably made, with the duvet tucked in neatly. Renjun got the impression the room hadn’t been used in weeks, at the very least. It looked like a hotel room, instead of someone’s bedroom.

They came to a halt near the bed while Renjun tried to disentangle their limbs away from each other, but Jeno couldn’t support himself and fell on the bed, bringing Renjun down with him.

His breath hitched as Jeno rolled closer and ended up covering half his body. He could feel Jeno all over, through the thin fabric of his pajamas. As if it wasn’t enough, Jeno nuzzled his face on the crook of Renjun’s neck, sending a jolt straight into his dick.

Fuck. Renjun shoved Jeno away and got out of the bed. Renjun’s heart was thumping loudly in his ears and he had to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. He felt like a creep for being horny, especially because Jeno was completely drunk.

He watched Jeno, completely unaware of what was going on, curling on the bed and falling asleep without difficulty at all. He sighed deeply and covered Jeno with the duvet so he wouldn’t get cold. After turning off the light, Renjun left the room and entered his own.

He really, really needed to get off if he wanted to get some more sleep, so he went to the bathroom, stepped under the shower and poured some lube on his palm.

With his pants down, he reached between his thighs, touching himself tentatively. The slick felt good and he sighed softly as he tightened his hold on himself. He braced on the wall, burying his face on his arm just so he didn’t have to watch himself.

His traitorous brain kept going back to the moment Jeno pressed his body against him and he couldn't help it. The image of Jeno standing behind him, unbelievably close, with his warm breath blowing against his neck formed inside his mind. Jeno’s fingers on him, stroking him faster and faster.

“Hyung, ah…” A strangled moan escaped his mouth, reverberating between the walls.

Renjun came so hard, his sight blacked out and his body went impossibly tight, he almost gave himself a cramp. He stayed there for what it felt like hours, panting until his breath evened out. He shamefully cleaned after himself and left the bathroom, avoiding his own reflection in the mirror, mocking him.

His sleep was restless, filled with unnerving dreams where Jeno was all happy and full of laughter with Jaemin by his side and all Renjun could do was watch from afar, unable to move. His heart was breaking all over.

*

Renjun woke up early. His body screamed for more rest, but he couldn’t fall asleep again once he was awake. He refused to unpack what happened last night and chose to bury it deep at the back of his mind. He took a hot shower to clear his mind and it did help, at least to wear off some of the fatigue in his body.

Nothing else he could do while he waited for Jeno to wake up. So, he made a cup of coffee for himself and brought it to the study. Blessedly, the scenes he had to write next perfectly match his mood.

Hansung and Haejin just shared an impulsive kiss. The following week, Hansung was on the edge of a breakdown as everything in his life just spun out of his control.

Renjun wrote and wrote, drowning himself in the scenes, embodying both Hansung’s anxieties and desires. It was a familiar feeling. After all, Renjun went through almost the same thing himself when he was Hansung’s age.

It was a welcome distraction from the complicated emotions he was feeling at the very moment. The irony didn’t lose on Renjun. He was escaping Jeno, using the world Jeno created.

Jeno still hadn’t woken up hours later, even when it was approaching lunch time. In normal situation, Renjun would have woken him up hours ago and dragged him to the study. Maybe he should do the same. He didn’t want Jeno to think there was something wrong between them. Nothing had changed. Nothing should have changed.

Renjun knocked on his bedroom’s door tentatively. He could hear a soft groan, but nothing else.

“Hyung?” Renjun called.

“Injun…” Jeno called back. His voice sounded awful. Renjun opened the door right away.

Jeno was still lying on the bed, all bundled up inside his duvet. Even with all those layers, he was shivering. His face was flushed with heat and glimmers of sweats. Renjun walked closer and sat on the bed beside him.

“May I?” He reached out his hand, stopping just above his forehead.

“Yeah,” Jeno rasped. His forehead was burning under Renjun’s touch. Guilt and panic filled Renjun’s stomach, cursing himself for not checking Jeno earlier.

“Sorry, hyung, I didn’t know…” Renjun apologized right away.

“It’s fine, I just woke up anyway,” Jeno croaked.

“Do you have medicine you can take?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah, it’s in my bathroom, I think,” Jeno sighed. “Fuck, my head really hurts.”

“Okay, wait, you have to eat something first.”

Renjun ran to the kitchen. Thankfully, there was still a leftover beef broth he made a few days ago. He warmed it up on the stove and added some rice for an impromptu porridge. He brought the bowl and some water upstairs, leaving them on the nightstand beside his bed.

“Eat this first. Can you eat by yourself?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded weakly and sat up on the bed, staring dazedly on the wall. Renjun gave him the bowl and he took it, muttering soft thanks.

Renjun entered Jeno’s bathroom next, rummaging through the drawers. He found some paracetamol and took it back to him. Jeno was already lying down again, after only eating half the porridge.

“Take the medicine, hyung,” Renjun gave him one pill, then the glass of water. Jeno obediently sat up and took the medicine, before leaning against the headboard, staring at him with an inexplicable look in his eyes.

Renjun didn't know what to do, so he just awkwardly stood near the bed, looking down to avoid Jeno’s gaze. The shame for what he had done last night creeped on his conscience. He couldn’t possibly look at Jeno in the eyes now.

“Sorry about last night, I drank too much,” Jeno chuckled nervously.

“No worries,” Renjun shrugged, trying to appear laid-back to mask the turmoil inside his mind.

“Thank you for bringing me up here.”

“Why don’t you sleep in your room, hyung?” Renjun asked when Jeno didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t help feeling annoyed for Jeno’s lack of willingness to take care of himself. “You were shivering down there last night. That’s why you got sick.”

“Sorry,” Jeno murmured.

“No, I mean…” Renjun sighed and looked away toward the window in exasperation. “It’s fine. It’s your house, after all, just…”

“I have trouble sleeping here, since it reminded me so much of my ex. I always ended up sleeping in the living room or in the guest room, before you moved in. At this point, it became a habit, I guess,” Jeno blurted out, completely frank for the first time.

“Oh…” Renjun said dumbly. He didn’t appreciate the constant reminder of Jeno’s past relationship, but _okay_. He understood.

“I’ll try sleeping here, maybe it’s fine now.” The last bit sounded like he was thinking out loud, more to himself than to Renjun.

“Sure, just…” Renjun stammered, didn’t even know what he was saying. “Just take care of yourself, hyung.”

“Okay, I will. Sorry, for worrying you,” Jeno reassured him.

No one said anything for a second. Renjun really wanted to leave and rid himself of Jeno’s presence, but Jeno kept staring at him like he wanted him to stay.

“What do you want to eat, hyung? I’ll cook it for you,” Renjun asked. Jeno brightened up a little at the offer.

“Seaweed soup,” he answered without hesitation.

“Okay,” Renjun nodded. “Get some sleep, okay?”

Renjun never cooked seaweed soup before so he started with watching cooking videos on YouTube. He was so absorbed in the videos, he didn’t realize Jeno went down and slept on the sofa in the living room. He was facing the kitchen, so Renjun could see his sleeping face, looking all soft and peaceful.

He really hated his own room, huh? Even when he was sick, he still couldn’t stand staying in.

Jeno was still sleeping when Renjun was done cooking. He didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so he had his lunch alone before fetching his laptop and moving his workstation to the dining table so he could keep a watch on Jeno.

Donghyuck texted him in the afternoon. His phone buzzed loudly across the room, startling both Renjun and Jeno who instantly woke up with a jolt.

“Sorry, hyung,” Renjun apologized as he picked up the phone and turned off the sound.

“It’s fine,” Jeno shook his head.

“Do you feel better?” Renjun asked as he approached the sofa and put his palm on Jeno’s forehead to assess his fever. It went down considerably. Jeno’s eyes followed all his movements, even when Renjun hovered above him, touching his face. Their eyes met and Renjun pulled away his hand quickly.

“Sorry, I should’ve asked first,” he murmured.

“No, it’s fine,” Jeno smiled.

“Do you want to eat now?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded. Renjun heated up the soup while Jeno dragged himself across the room and sat down at the dining table.

“Can I read what you wrote?” Jeno pointed at his laptop.

“Of course.” Renjun nodded absentmindedly. He poured some of the soup into a bowl and put it down in front of Jeno.

“This scene is so heartbreaking,” Jeno lamented.

“Too sad?” Renjun asked, worried.

“No….” Jeno shook his head. “I think it’s great.”

“Let me read it again…” Renjun took over the laptop so Jeno could start eating.

Honestly, it was a bit embarrassing to read even by himself. The headspace he was in when he started writing was not his proudest moment. His own anxieties seeped through his fingers, into the screenplay. He wondered if Jeno could see it, how his personal feelings reflected right in his face like a mirror.

“It was almost like you’re broken-hearted yourself,” Jeno mused. Renjun chuckled nervously.

He took his phone, just so he had something to do, and opened Donghyuck’s text. Just several links of accommodations he found in Airbnb.

“Hyung, can I take a weekend off?” Renjun might as well ask while he remembered. Jeno paused for a second, looked up to him slowly as if he was considering what to say.

“Going somewhere?” Jeno asked instead.

“Yeah, Donghyuck is casted in a music video. They will shoot in Yangyang and I’m tagging along,” Renjun grinned.

“Oh, yeah, I think Mark told me,” Jeno nodded. “My family have a cottage in Yangyang. You can stay there if you want.”

“No, hyung, we’ll find our own…” Renjun hurriedly shook his head. He didn’t want to impose on Jeno more than he already was.

“It’s fine. No one stays there anyway,” Jeno shrugged.

Their eyes met for a second. There was something in Jeno’s eyes that Renjun couldn’t put his fingers on.

“Well, if you insist,” Renjun caved in. He hesitated for a second, before asking, “Do you want to come with us, hyung?”

“Are you sure?” Jeno scoffed. “Your friend might not agree.”

“It’s fine, he likes you,” Renjun said.

“What about you?” Jeno asked.

“Huh?”

“Do you want me there?” Jeno asked, titling his head to the side, with a slight pout and wide eyes. Renjun gulped down, weak in the knees and easy in the heart.

“Of course,” Renjun nodded quickly. “We can go together.”

“Okay, then,” Jeno said cheerfully. “Just let me know when.”

Jeno lay down on the sofa again after he finished his meal and took his medicine. Renjun kept writing at the dining table.

“Sleep in your room, hyung. It’s getting cold now,” Renjun told him.

“I will if you get some rest,” Jeno said. Renjun hummed but didn’t budge from his spot.

“Injun-ah…” Jeno called from the living room. “I’m bored.”

“Watch something, then,” Renjun answered.

“Watch it with me.”

Renjun sighed and brought his laptop over so he could sit beside Jeno on the sofa. Jeno picked an animation movie they both liked, Whisper of the Heart, even though they already saw it a few days ago.

Jeno curled up closer, until the top of his head nudged the side of Renjun’s thigh, taking Renjun by surprise. What did he want this time, Renjun wondered. Then, Jeno took Renjun’s hand and put them on top of his own head. 

“Why?” Renjun asked, honestly scared his fingers would start trembling.

“Pat my head,” Jeno asked casually before looking back at the television.

“But I’m writing,” Renjun tried to give an excuse.

“Then, stop writing,” Jeno scoffed. When Renjun didn’t do anything, he clicked his tongue before urging, “Come on, I’m still sick.”

Renjun finally put down his laptop and gave Jeno a gentle pat on the head. With no laptop taking the space, Jeno wiggled even closer and rested his head on Renjun’s lap.

“You don’t mind, right?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun answered breathlessly. He ran his fingers through Jeno’s hair, just like he did to Renjun before. Jeno hummed contentedly, so Renjun kept doing it.

He thought about everything he said to Donghyuck, about establishing enough distance to keep it professional between them. He couldn’t believe it only took him less than a week to go back on his own words.

Jeno just made it really difficult to stay away—or rather, he was the one who never wanted to stay away in the first place. Maybe he should just accept it and enjoy it while it lasts. He only had a few weeks left with Jeno. There would be enough distance between them after they finished the script. And they would become strangers again, just like they used to be. 


	4. Choices and Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun made his choice and now he had to live with the consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I said it on twitter, I started this story with K-drama formulas in mind. I can't believe I actually used every single cheesy K-drama tropes out there HAHA. Bear all these cheesiness with me. I put some spiciness in the middle so it's easier to digest lol. Finally we got some actions and I'm pleased with the result. I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. All comments and thoughts are appreciated!

Jeno finished the first act in time before their little trip to Yangyang. He wrote frighteningly fast now and maintained the quality of his writing at the same time. It was honestly amazing to witness. Renjun couldn’t wait to read what he wrote by the end of the day, sometimes delaying making dinner so he could read the draft. Jeno resorted to read the draft out loud for him while he cooked so they could have dinner on time.

“The film is going to be so cute, honestly,” Renjun mused, when Jeno got to the scene where Hansung and Haejin went on a movie date—or not-a-date according to Hansung, anyway.

Jeno hummed. “Do you have any actor in mind? Like, anyone you imagined while you write?”

Renjun didn’t have to go far to place actual faces in the scenes he imagined. He used the real-life inspiration for the story.

“I imagined you, actually,” Renjun said nonchalantly. “It’s your story after all.”

Jeno looked taken aback, hesitating before he responded. The pause drove Renjun crazy. His brain started to run amok, trying to figure out what to say.

“Which one is me?” Jeno asked.

“Hansung, obviously,” Renjun deadpanned.

“Who are you imagining as Haejin?” Jeno asked again, as if he was challenging him.

“No one…” Renjun lied with ease. In his mind, Haejin had Jaemin’s face. He tended to hurt himself like that.

“Don’t imagine anyone,” Jeno said, like he could read Renjun’s mind.

“I don’t even know your ex’s face,” Renjun shrugged. 

“Would you imagine him if you knew?” Jeno raised his eyebrows. When Renjun didn’t say anything, he added, “Well, don’t.”

“I won’t,” Renjun said curtly, petulantly. Because what else Jeno thought would happen when he invited Renjun in to help him write his story. What else he thought would happen when he asked Renjun to move into the house he used to live with his ex?

 _Let’s not get ahead of yourself_ , Renjun warned himself.

“Also, it’s not just my story anymore, it’s ours now,” Jeno stated as he put down the iPad he used to read the draft. When Renjun didn’t look convinced, he chuckled incredulously and insisted, “It’s true. It’s so different now compared to what happened in real life.”

“How different?” Renjun couldn’t help asking.

“It was less dramatic, for sure. Our parents never found out we were dating. Until we told them ourselves, of course, but that was years later.”

There was an air of indifference with the way Jeno talked about his past relationship now. He was still reluctant to talk about it, but he didn’t look sad any longer. When did he start to change, Renjun wondered, or rather, was there any change at all?

The two of them only knew each other for two weeks, more or less. It wasn’t enough for Renjun to learn what Jeno’s facial expression or body language meant. He would never know what Jeno thought or felt, unless Jeno told him so. Maybe he was just projecting what he thought Jeno did this whole time.

“Come on, let’s eat,” Jeno cocked his head toward the dining table. Renjun nodded and followed him, bringing along the pot of soybean paste stew he just finished cooking.

*

Since they planned to leave early in the morning, they went to sleep early that night. After being scolded by Renjun, Jeno started to sleep in his room instead of the living room. His sleep patterns aligned more with Renjun’s now, so he had no problem waking up at the same time as him.

“Play some music, would you?” Jeno told him as he drove the car out on the road. Renjun didn’t know what kind of music Jeno listened to, so he just chose a popular lo-fi playlist he liked to listen to while he worked.

Renjun couldn’t help humming to the songs. Jeno started to follow along not long after and they had a full-on karaoke session on the way for almost an hour. As it turned out, their musical taste overlapped a lot, except that Jeno didn’t know any Chinese singers at all. They listened to the same Korean and Western musicians.

They stopped at a rest area on the way to get coffee and some snacks. They ended up buying hot dogs to go since Jeno insisted he could eat on the way. The cheese on Jeno’s hot dog burst out and dripped onto his chin on the first bite.

“Hyung, are you a kid?” Renjun sighed while he reached for the tissue box on the back seat.

“Yah, yah, hurry, it’s getting to my shirt,” Jeno urged him, rubbed his chin with the back of his hand to prevent that. Renjun wiped the cheese from his chin while Jeno kept driving. Jeno smiled as Renjun did so, making him blushed.

“My hand too,” Jeno put his hand on top of Renjun's hand. Renjun rolled his eyes but did as Jeno asked. On top of being clingy, this man also liked to be pampered, which Renjun had no problem doing, actually. It was what he naturally tends to do anyway, taking care of people.

Jeno squeezed his hand gently before resting his hand back on the wheel. That was what broke through Renjun’s cool composure. He huffed and looked out of the window before he could nurse his expression back into neutral, silently stretching and relaxing his fingers a couple of times.

*

The cottage was small, at least compared to Jeno’s house in Seoul. It was still spacious enough to be a functioning permanent house. Both the exterior and interior design was simple, just white walls with a touch of pine wood. Unlike Jeno’s house which looked chic and cold, this one looked bright and warm.

“It’s my sister’s cottage, that’s why,” Jeno told him when he pointed it out.

“Oh, I didn’t know you have a sister.”

“She’s five years older than me, happily married, with two kids,” Jeno grinned before pulling out his phone to show him his nieces’ picture. The older girl was probably only three or four years old, while the younger one was barely out of infancy, still snugly fit inside her mother’s arms. Jeno’s sister looked so much like him, with slimmer features, but just as beautiful.

“What’s her name?” Renjun asked.

“Lee Jian.”

“Do they live in Seoul?” Renjun asked.

“No, my brother-in-law is taking his doctorate, so they all moved to Germany last year.”

“Are you close with her?” Renjun always wanted a sibling, mostly just so he could have a company that wasn’t his grandma growing up, but he never got one, obviously.

“Yeah, I used to visit her house and babysit her kids every week when she was still living in Seoul,” Jeno smiled wistfully. “But, I’m really bad at texting and keeping in touch in general, so we don’t talk much after she left.”

Renjun tried to picture Jeno playing with his nieces. They must have looked so cute together.

“I did call her to borrow the cottage, though,” Jeno grinned. “Do you have a sibling?”

“No,” Renjun shook his head.

“Is it because, you know…” Jeno asked tentatively.

“What?” Renjun raised his eyebrows.

“The, um, the one child policy?” Jeno 

“No,” Renjun chuckled lightly. “I was raised by a single mom and she only remarried recently, so…”

“Oh, sorry,” Jeno grimaced apologetically.

“Don’t be, you didn’t know,” Renjun shook his head.

Renjun could see Jeno felt bad, but he feigned ignorance, avoiding his pity like a plague. Renjun was never ashamed of his family’s condition. His mom worked hard with everything she got, restarted her entire life after divorcing her husband and Renjun’s biological father. Even though their relationship was rocky at the moment, his admiration of her tenacity never really diminished.

“So, where do I sleep?” Renjun changed the topic, sparing Jeno from having to talk about his upbringing.

There were three bedrooms. Jeno naturally took the biggest one, while Renjun and Donghyuck would stay in the one with twin beds. Mark would take the last room.

“Oh, Mark hyung is staying here too?” Renjun didn’t know that. He wasn’t sure Donghyuck would be okay with spending the night in the same house with Mark.

“Donghyuck already knew, relax,” Jeno chuckled. “Mark told him himself.”

“Okay, then,” Renjun shrugged. As long as he didn’t have to be on the receiving end of Donghyuck’s wrath, he couldn’t care less who else would join them.

“Before we do anything, can I lay down first?” Jeno asked as he slumped on the sofa in the living room.

“Yeah, of course,” Renjun nodded.

Jeno lay down and drifted to sleep. Renjun took out a novel he brought and opened the glass sliding doors in the living room that was facing the beach. The weather was perfect, unusual in the middle of the fall. It was warm with enough breeze to cool them. Renjun took off his hoodie, made himself comfortable on the armchair next to Jeno and started to read.

Honestly, it was the kind of holiday Renjun always dreamt of. No itinerary to do, no list of places to visit. All he needed to do was just lounging around in a beautiful house by the beach and he was satisfied.

They walked to a noodle place nearby for lunch after Jeno woke up. Jeno said he had been there before, and the buckwheat noodle was really good.

“Did you come here often?” Renjun asked.

“Once or twice,” Jeno nodded. Renjun just went ahead and assumed he came here with Jaemin before. Who else you took to a beach cottage, anyway. 

They don’t talk much during lunch, too busy stuffing up themselves with noodles since they hadn’t had proper meals that day. The buckwheat noodle was good, though.

The sunny weather was replaced by the grey clouds and strong wind when they walked to the beach after lunch. Renjun only wore a light t-shirt and jeans to go out, lulled into false comfort by the warm weather. Now he shivered like a wet dog under the cold wind.

“Are you cold?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah, a bit,” Renjun grimaced.

“Let’s get back, then, before it starts raining,” Jeno put his arms around his shoulders. Renjun naturally shifted closer, leaning on Jeno just a little bit. Just looking for warmth, he excused himself. Still, Jeno noticed that and tightened his hug.

Renjun let Jeno go to find his hoodie in his room, when he got back to the living room, Jeno was reading something on his iPad.

“What are you doing?” Renjun asked as he sat down beside him. Jeno turned on the heater already, so the living room was getting pleasantly warmer and warmer.

“Reading your draft,” Jeno replied.

“But you read that already,” Renjun scoffed. Jeno smacked his lips together, contemplative. He scooted closer so he could see which part Jeno was reading. Hansung was watching a film alone in his room, trying to look up solace in the things he loved the most.

“I really need to watch Happy Together again,” Renjun said, mentioning the film Hansung was watching.

“We can watch it together when we get back home,” Jeno suggested as he casually put his arm on the sofa behind Renjun. Renjun paused for a second, wondering whether it was an invitation or not.

Jeno kept talking about the scene, but Renjun didn’t really listen. All he could think about what Jeno’s arm behind him, his body beside him. Jeno always initiated the intimacy between them, but he leaned away this time, as if he was waiting for Renjun to get closer himself.

Renjun tried to weigh on his options. They had been getting closer and closer these days, especially after Jeno got sick. He wasn’t blind, he knew Jeno was interested. He didn’t know what way though. Was it just the intimacy he was after? Sex?

Honestly, what the hell he thought about this so seriously anyway? He didn’t even know what he wanted from Jeno. Maybe he was the one who only wanted sex. 

So, Renjun curled up closer and leaned on Jeno’s shoulder. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. He closed his eyes and buried his face on Jeno’s shoulder, inhaling the whiff of Jeno’s earthy perfume scent clinging on to his clothes. Jeno sighed softly and tentatively put his hand on his waist.

“Is this okay?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun took a sharp breath, willing himself to relax.

Jeno brushed his nose on top of his head, sending a shiver down his spine. He could look up to him and they would be in the perfect position for a kiss. He really, really wanted to do it, to crash their lips together and maybe climb on his lap to get even friskier.

“Injun…” Jeno started in a low voice.

“Hyung…” Renjun called back, grinning nervously as he looked up to him. Jeno’s other hand found its way onto Renjun’s jaw, caressing his cheek with his thumb. His eyes darted down, zeroed in on Renjun’s lips.

“Can I…” Jeno licked his lips slowly. His perfect cupid’s bow. Fuck. Renjun just wanted to devour him. The air between them was charged deliciously with anticipation. There was no harm in stretching it a little longer.

“What?” Renjun asked coyly.

Jeno bended his head down even closer, nuzzling his face onto Renjun’s ear, ghosting his lips on the side of his jaw. Renjun leaned back his head, exposing the column of his neck. Jeno took it as an invitation, this time didn’t even hesitate to press his lips on his neck.

“Hyung…” Renjun took a sharp breath, trembling.

“Jeno!” Someone called him from the front door before knocking the door multiple times. Jeno sighed exaggeratedly and abruptly got out of the sofa without even so much of a look at Renjun. Frankly, that didn’t feel good.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” Jeno yelled back.

“Where have you been, man? I’ve been calling you.” Renjun could hear Mark’s voice, then Donghyuck’s, politely greeted Jeno.

“Left my phone in the bedroom, sorry,” Jeno chuckled awkwardly as he followed both Mark and Donghyuck as they came in. Their hair and clothes were wet, so they made a fuss, asking for their room so they could change their clothes.

“God, it started raining pretty hard where we were shooting,” Mark complained as he walked into his room. Jeno followed him inside.

Renjun gestured at Donghyuck to follow him to their own room. Donghyuck immediately stripped his soaked clothes as soon as Renjun closed the door behind him and changed his clothes right away.

“Fuck, I’m so tired. I’ve been shooting since dawn,” Donghyuck groaned.

“Did it go okay?”

“Yeah. We had to finish early because of the rain, but Mark said they got enough footage already.”

Renjun hummed half-heartedly and lay down on his bed, burying his face on the pillow.

“What’s up with you?” Donghyuck asked.

“Jeno and I almost kissed before you came,” Renjun whispered.

“What?” Donghyuck hissed. His jaw almost dropped on the floor with surprise. “I thought he’s not over his ex?”

“I don’t know, man, maybe he just wanted to fuck,” Renjun shrugged.

“Well, do you want to fuck him?” Donghyuck asked.

“Yeah, obviously,” Renjun snorted.

“So much for keeping things professional, huh? Have a little shame, Renjun-ah, good god,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, making Renjun giggled unabashedly. “Where’s the bathroom? I need to take a shower first.”

Renjun showed him where it was. Thankfully, Jeno was nowhere to be seen, so he picked up his phone and book from the living room, before retreating into his room.

When Donghyuck got back, his makeup was gone and his hair was still damp from the shower. He was wearing an oversized hoodie and shorts, looking like he was ready to sleep. He slipped under the blanket on the bed next to Renjun, sighing in relief.

“I think I’m hooking up with Mark again tonight,” Donghyuck said offhandedly as he looked at his phone.

“Really?” Renjun chuckled. “I thought that’s over.”

“I mean, we’re not working together now, so why not?” 

“I thought you’re auditioning for his film?”

“Dude, the script isn’t even done yet, I’ll worry about that later,” Donghyuck scoffed. “Also, Mark’s cool. He knows we’re just having fun.”

“Sure,” Renjun snorted. 

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Donghyuck asked.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Let’s just get drunk. There’s a bar nearby. We can walk there,” Donghyuck suggested. When Renjun threw him a questioning look he said, “Hey, I did my research.”

“Okay,” Renjun shrugged.

“Just wake me up when we’re leaving,” Donghyuck told him before settling on the bed. “Will you please turn off the light?”

Renjun did so before getting out of the room. Jeno and Mark were sitting in the living room, each with a bottle of beer on his hand.

“Beer?” Mark offered. When Renjun nodded, he pointed at the fridge. He took one bottle before sitting on one of the armchairs, away from Jeno—who wouldn’t take his eyes off him, by the way.

“Where’s Donghyuck?” Mark asked.

“Napping,” Renjun said before taking a sip of his beer. “What are we doing for dinner?”

“Let’s go to that pizza place that we went before, then we can hit the bar after,” Mark answered. “Jen, what do you think?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jeno shrugged.

“You’ve been here before, hyung?” Renjun asked casually.

“Yeah, we all came here… about two or three years ago, right?” Jeno was the one who answered.

“Yeah, two years, I think. We came here for Jaemin’s birthday,” Mark added nonchalantly, missing the glare Jeno sent his way just a second earlier. Hilariously, Renjun was the one who caught it. Jeno turned his face away when he realized Renjun noticed what he was doing. 

“With your friends?" Renjun asked. He saw it coming, already. He was fine, he won’t let it bother him.

“Yeah, with our friends from uni. Ten people, just piling on top of each other here,” Mark gestured around the living room. 

“Jian noona still hung up on that, you know. All because she found weed here,” Jeno scoffed. Mark raised his hands in a playful resignation, giggling.

“By the way, I got one right here,” Mark took a box out of his jeans pocket and pulled out a blunt. Jeno scoffed in disbelief and got up to fetch an ashtray from the kitchen. In the meantime, Mark lit the blunt up, took a deep drag and passed it around. Jeno and Renjun had their share before the blunt found its way back to Mark. 

Renjun didn’t know how long they stayed like that—or how many blunts they shared between them. They don’t really talk, but the silence felt nice and comfortable.

“Where did you get this anyway? Wonil?” Jeno asked.

“Wonil stopped selling after he got married,” Mark scoffed. “I got it from his cousin.”

“Wonil got married? How come I didn’t get invited?” Jeno complained. 

“Yah, he did invite you, but you’re the one who didn’t come,” Mark snorted in disbelief.

“Why? Where did I go?” Jeno raised his eyebrows. Mark had enough sense to give him a meaningful look now and Jeno shut his mouth right away. Renjun watched the entire exchange in silence, simultaneously curious about what happened and had enough of this talk about Jeno’s past.

“Let’s go out, I’m hungry,” Renjun said suddenly.

“Yeah, me too,” Jeno nodded right away.

“I’ll go wake Donghyuck up,” Renjun offered. He got into his room and snuggled up to Donghyuck, burying his face on his back. Donghyuck stirred awake slowly, took Renjun’s arm and wrapped it around his body.

“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asked.

“Don’t let me be alone with them,” Renjun whispered back.

“What did they do to you?” Donghyuck chuckled softly.

“They kept talking about Jeno’s ex.”

“Did it bother you?”

“A little.” Renjun tightened his hug and Donghyuck let him be for once, gently patting his arm.

“Come on, I’m hungry,” Donghyuck finally said.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They left the cottage and walked to the pizza place Mark was talking about. Renjun stuck to Donghyuck’s side on the way. He didn’t want to give Jeno room to get closer, especially since Jeno kept stealing a glance at him with an unreadable look in his eyes.

The pizza was indeed good, lifting Renjun’s mood up considerably. A couple of glasses of beer seemed to help as well. By the time they got to the bar, Renjun just wanted to dance. They all took a shot of tequila as soon as they arrived and Renjun loosened up even more. He dragged Donghyuck to the dance floor while Jeno and Mark hit the bathroom.

Renjun felt unstoppable. Even the awful choice of songs from the DJ couldn’t mess with his spirit. The two of them dance together, without much coordination, too drunk to even do it properly.

“Injun!” Someone called him and he turned around to see Jeno open his arms, walking toward him.

“Hyung!” Renjun giggled and opened his arms for him in response. Jeno literally ran into his embrace, holding him so tight, his breath hitched with a surprise. Then, Jeno stumbled on his own legs and lost his balance, falling toward Renjun.

The next thing he knew, they were both on the floor. Jeno was on top of him, as he lied there on the mercifully soft sand. Somehow, Jeno managed to put his hand under his head so he didn’t hurt his head.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jeno said, hurriedly climbing off him.

“Renjun-ah, are you okay?” Donghyuck was kneeling beside him, helping him up.

“I’m fine,” Renjun nodded as he tried to stand up. “It’s fine.”

“You’re okay, Injun-ah? I’m sorry,” Jeno fussed over him, caressing his head and cheeks, until he was blushing from the attention.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Renjun assured him. Jeno wrapped his arms around him, stroking the back of his head, still muttering apology.

“What happened?” Mark asked, just coming back from the bathroom.

“Injun and Jeno hyung fell,” Donghyuck answered, giggling. 

The two of them left together to get them another round of shots. They all took it, then another one. What happened after that was kind of blurred.

Renjun remembered dancing with Jeno all night long. Jeno couldn’t keep his hands off him, holding him close the whole time. When Renjun tried to pull away and turn around to avoid him, Jeno would give him a back hug, nuzzling the tip of his nose in his hair.

Renjun let his hands wander, on his waist, his stomach, his chest. It felt good, knowing Jeno desperately wanted him like this. If he wasn’t already drunk, he probably felt lightheaded just by the public display of affection.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno would tell him over and over.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Renjun repeated himself one more time. “It didn’t hurt.”

“No, not the fall,” Jeno shook his head. Renjun turned to face him, smiling at how Jeno placed his hands on his waist so naturally. “What happened at the cottage. I’m sorry.”

“Which one?” Renjun asked, looking up at him. Their eyes met and the rest of the bar fell into silence—or at least that was what he thought happened in his inebriated brain. It felt like they were in a film. Renjun could almost hear the sensual score out of nowhere, alluding to the audience that they were about to fuck.

“You know, before Mark and Donghyuck arrived,” Jeno rasped. “When I kiss your neck.”

“You shouldn’t have stopped,” Renjun said.

“I really wanted to kiss you,” Jeno murmured. “I still do.”

“Here?” Renjun asked dumbly, as if they hadn’t been clinging on to each other the whole time.

“Let’s go back to the cottage,” Jeno took his hand and pulled him toward the bar entrance. Jeno started running so Renjun let go of his hand and raced him toward the cottage, laughing all the way.

Jeno let him win most of the way, but he caught up right in front of the cottage and circled his arms around him. Renjun giggled, letting Jeno carry him carelessly across the porch. Jeno put him down so he could fish the key out of his pocket and opened the door. Renjun walked in and Jeno followed right after, closing the door behind him. Jeno reached for him immediately, but Renjun just took his hand and led him toward the sofa.

“Sit down,” Renjun crooned. Jeno did, looking up at him with a smile on his lips. Renjun climbed onto his lap, just like he wanted to do earlier. He was never this bold before, with anyone, but there was something about that night. Maybe because Jeno had been all over him all night. Maybe because he was so wasted, even after the run to the cottage.

Jeno hummed, slithering his fingers up and down Renjun’s thighs. Renjun circled his arms around Jeno’s neck and touched their forehead together, so close he could feel Jeno’s warm breath on his face.

“God, you’re so pretty,” Jeno sighed.

“Really?” Renjun smirked. He stroked Jeno’s cheek, then his chiseled jaw. “You’re not so bad yourself, hyung.”

“Should we go to my room?” Jeno asked.

“We haven’t even kissed,” Renjun chuckled.

“Kiss me then,” Jeno whispered. Renjun cupped both of his cheeks and planted a tentative kiss on his lips, the perfect cupid’s bow. Jeno parted his lips pliantly, sighing into his mouth.

God, his lips. All Renjun wanted was to nip on his soft and luscious lips all night long. He couldn’t get enough of them. He tilted his head so he could deepen the kiss and Jeno took the chance to slip his tongue inside Renjun’s open mouth, making him moan quietly. 

It was everything Renjun had wanted and more. Jeno in his imagination was rough and quiet, but Jeno in real life was gentle and affectionate, letting out all sorts of needy noises as Renjun touched him, caressing his neck, slipping his fingers under the collar of his jacket.

“Wait, let me take this off,” Jeno got rid of his jacket. The t-shirt he was wearing had a low neckline. Renjun was already salivating by the view. Jeno shivered visibly as his fingers slowly traced his collarbone.

“Come here,” Jeno murmured, as if Renjun wasn’t close enough already. His arms gathered Renjun’s closer, then smoothly sliding down until he cupped his ass through his jeans and gave it a light squeeze. Renjun shifted closer and spread his legs a little wider, gasping as he dragged his half-hard length on Jeno’s thigh.

Jeno kissed his way down onto his neck, pulling his ass toward him. Renjun rolled his hips one more time, sliding his crotch directly onto Jeno’s already rock-hard cock. The jeans made it difficult and a little bit painful, but Renjun was too horny to care.

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned. “Again.”

Renjun held onto his shoulder for leverage and moved his hips, slower this time. Jeno moaned loudly, breathing on his neck. The pleasure was almost unbearable already, even better than Renjun had imagined before.

“Hyung, kiss me,” Renjun whined. Jeno tilted his head up, lips already slick and swollen from making out earlier. He latched their lips together and grinded on him at the same time. Jeno bucked up his hip for more friction, panting into his mouth shamelessly.

“Jaem, fuck…”

Both Renjun and Jeno froze in shock. The heat hanging in the air between them turned into ice cold. Tension filled the silence, but not the kind Renjun wanted. He pulled back, trembling, as he looked at Jeno in the eyes.

“What did you say?” Renjun’s voice sounded all weird and strained.

“I’m…” Jeno stuttered.

“Did you just call me Jaemin?” Renjun asked incredulously. Pain and anger formed in his stomach, dizzying, nauseating almost. He climbed off Jeno’s lap, shaking all over.

“Injun-ah…” Jeno gulped nervously, trying to reach for him but Renjun shook his head and took a step back.

“Don’t touch me,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, it didn’t mean anything. It’s just a slip of tongue,” Jeno’s words stumble into each other in his hurry to explain himself. He stood up, looking like he wanted to get closer, but he didn’t, out of respect for him.

“Yeah, whatever,” Renjun turned around, wanting to run away before he started crying in front of Jeno.

“Oh, you’re here! I thought you guys are still in the bar,” Donghyuck and Mark showed up at the worst time ever, holding hands and giggling cutely together. 

Renjun turned his face away, because he was scared he would cry right then and there if he looked at Donghyuck in the eyes. It didn’t matter because Donghyuck was too drunk to notice Renjun’s sour expression. 

“You kids have fun, then,” Donghyuck grinned as he pulled Mark toward his room and closed the door.

“Injun-ah…” Jeno tried again, but Renjun wouldn’t have it.

“I want to be alone,” Renjun said before putting on his shoes and getting out of the cottage. He pushed down the urge to cry and walked toward the beach, ignoring the strong wind blowing on his face. His phone kept buzzing on his pocket, probably calls or texts from Jeno. He ignored that too. 

How easy it would be if it was just about sex, he thought. How simple it would be if the fact that Jeno hadn’t gotten over Jaemin didn’t matter to him. It wouldn’t hurt so much if he didn’t care.

Renjun came to a halt just before the shoreline and slumped down on the sand. He hugged his knees, bent down to hide his face and finally let his tears fall. He cried quietly, biting his sobs down even though no one was around to hear his grief.

Admitting to himself that he probably liked Jeno a lot more that he thought he did felt like a defeat. He didn’t want these feelings. They were too complicated, too much burden for him to carry. He was just setting himself up for a disappointment in the future and, frankly, he had enough of it in his life already.

It was getting too cold to stay outside, so he wiped his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He took out his phone and read the texts from Jeno.

Lee Jeno

>Injun-ah, I’m sorry

>At least tell me where are you

>Please come back, I’ll leave you alone

The living room was empty when Renjun got back. He walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, checking the gap under Jeno’s door. The light was on. Jeno was awake. Renjun took the glass and hurriedly made way into his room before Jeno could catch him. 

“Injun-ah…”

Renjun froze in place for a second, considering just ignoring him and walking into his room anyway, but he decided it was probably too childish. So, he turned around to face Jeno.

“You’re okay?” Jeno hesitantly asked.

“Yup,” Renjun nodded quickly.

“Do you want to talk?” Jeno asked again.

“No, let’s just…” Renjun shook his head immediately. He didn’t want to talk, preferably ever. He just wanted to forget it ever happened, to be honest, but they still had to work together. He had to attempt to make amends, at the very least. “Let’s talk in the morning.”

“Of course,” Jeno hastily agreed. “Let’s sleep it off first.”

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded, looking everywhere but Jeno’s face.

“Okay…” Jeno said awkwardly, before finally retreating into his room and closed the door.

Renjun changed into pajamas and dragged himself to the bathroom to wash up. When he got out of the bathroom and passed by Mark’s door, he could hear the sound of the bedframe hitting the wall repeatedly, then a muffled moan which he knew coming out of Donghyuck’s mouth.

He walked into his room, turned off the light and lay down on the bed. Unfortunately, his room shared a wall with Mark’s room and Donghyuck decided to be louder just when Renjun was trying to sleep. He moaned shamelessly, begging for Mark to fuck him harder.

Renjun groaned, hoping it was loud enough to shut Donghyuck up, before putting on his earphone and played some music to drown out the sex noises. He buried his face on the pillow, desperately hoping for sleep to take over his consciousness.

It didn’t.

*

The room was bright when Renjun woke up in the morning, warm sunshine seeping through the curtain. His entire body was sore and his head hurt from the lack of sleep. He huffed and turned his face away from the window, surprised to find Donghyuck was sleeping on the beside him. He was awake, staring blankly at him.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asked.

“What are you doing here?” Donghyuck asked back. “I thought you were going to fuck Jeno.”

“He called me Jaemin when we were making out,” Renjun told him numbly. Donghyuck gasped in genuine shock. Renjun sighed, “I know.”

“What did you do?”

“I left him. I went to the beach.”

“Did you cry?”

“A little.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Donghyuck mocked fondly. Renjun let out a dry laugh. Only Donghyuck would still tease him in this situation. But, he still patted the empty space on his bed and asked, “Do you want a hug?”

“Yeah,” Renjun said in a small voice, before climbing on Donghyuck’s bed and letting Donghyuck put his arms around him.

“So, what happened with you and Mark?”

“I had an argument with Mark,” Donghyuck answered. “He said he can get me cast in his film.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Renjun furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t need to fuck the director to get cast in a film,” Donghyuck snapped. Mark probably just wanted to be nice, but he bruised Donghyuck’s pride instead. Poor guy. Now Donghyuck would think crawling back into his bed was beneath him.

“At least you already slept with him,” Renjun huffed.

“Just fuck him anyway. You know how hot hate sex can be?” Donghyuck grinned suggestively.

“But I don’t hate Jeno,” Renjun whined.

“Yeah, you love him,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. Renjun snorted loudly at the word.

“I don’t love him,” Renjun insisted.

“Not yet anyway,” Donghyuck teased. “What are you going to do with him, then?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun let out an exaggerated sigh. “If I knew it would turn out like this, I wouldn’t make out with him in the first place.”

“And you still have to work with him,” Donghyuck clicked his tongue.

“I should keep a distance, right? At least until the script is done,” Renjun said, more to himself.

“I mean, yeah, definitely, if it makes you feel better,” Donghyuck shrugged.

Someone knocked on the door and they exchanged a glance, telling the other to answer it. Renjun shook his head and Donghyuck replied, “Yeah?”

“Is Renjun there?” Jeno’s voice asked behind the door. Renjun shook his head one more time in panic, but Donghyuck didn’t seem to care.

“Yeah, come in,” Donghyuck crooned.

“Yah!” Renjun slapped his arm. Jeno opened the door without another word, eyes widened when he found Renjun and Donghyuck lay on the same bed, under the same blanket.

“I’m... I’m sorry...” Jeno stammered and looked away, like he caught them in the middle of sex or something. Donghyuck sent an incredulous glance at Renjun who was just as speechless, before chuckling to himself and left the room. Renjun got up and sat at the edge of the bed, looking down because he didn’t have the courage to look at Jeno in the eyes.

“I didn’t know you guys...” Jeno paused, crinkling his nose and gesturing vaguely at the bed. “I thought you’re just friends.” 

“We are just friends,” Renjun turned to look at him in disbelief. “Do you honestly think we hooked up? When we all know what Donghyuck and Mark did together last night?”

“I mean, there’s another bed right there and you chose to sleep with him,” Jeno’s tone was accusing and Renjun couldn’t believe the audacity.

“I can sleep wherever I want,” Renjun retorted sharply. It seemed to snap Jeno into sense because he averted his gaze, embarrassed by his own behavior.

“Of course, sorry,” Jeno murmured.

Renjun thought he should just get this over with. It would be easier for both of them that way. There was no point in dragging this out longer than they should have.

“Listen, hyung,” Renjun sighed. “Last night, we were too drunk and we got carried away by the moment, right?” 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed, “We weren’t drunk in the afternoon when we were about to kiss.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake,” Renjun snapped. Jeno’s lips tightened and he folded his arms together like he was protecting himself from Renjun’s words.

“Is that so?” Jeno asked, impassive.

“We still have to work together, hyung. I don’t want to make this more complicated than it already was,” Renjun couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. Who was this cold apathetic guy? He didn’t recognize him in the slightest.

“Are you even interested in what I want to say or have you already decided for both of us?” Jeno raised his eyebrows. Renjun looked down sheepishly, suddenly feeling like a spoiled child in front of Jeno who was perfectly calm.

“You can talk,” Renjun said in a low voice.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think it was a mistake. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while now and I assumed you feel the same way. I’m sorry if I got ahead of myself there,” Jeno said.

“No, you didn’t, hyung,” Renjun shook his head hurriedly. That was the last thing he wanted, for Jeno to think he was taking advantage of him.

“I’m sorry for calling you Jaemin. It was just a slip of tongue, nothing more. Please don’t take it deeper than it was. I knew it was you I was kissing. It was you I wanted to kiss.”

Renjun found it hard to believe him, to be honest. How could he? When he had seen with his own eyes how the end of his and Jaemin’s relationship affected him so badly.

“Injun-ah...” Jeno called exasperatedly, knowing Renjun didn’t believe him in the slightest.

“I understand, honestly. It’s fine if you’re not over him, I won’t hold it against you,” Renjun murmured.

“But, I am,” Jeno insisted.

“Sure, if you say so,” Renjun shrugged. “I just don’t want to be caught in the middle of it, that’s all.”

“Is there anything I could say to change your mind?” Jeno asked, almost pleadingly. Renjun still wouldn’t look at him in the eyes, for fear he would cave in without a fight.

“I don’t know, hyung. I don’t want to put words in your mouth,” Renjun stubbornly resisted.

Jeno didn’t say anything for a while. Renjun finally looked up to him, curious to see what he was doing, what he was thinking about. Their eyes met and Renjun held his gaze for once. Jeno looked crushed, hugging himself instead of folding his arms like he did before. Knowing that he was the one who caused it sent a twinge in his chest. He felt the urge to do something to ease his pain, even though he knew he could do nothing to help him.

“If you want me to keep a distance, I’ll respect your wish," Jeno finally relented. “Is that what you want?”

Renjun expected him to fight more, insisting they should be together. He couldn’t help feeling disappointed that he gave up so easily. Maybe this was probably how adult relationships work. Communicating their feelings and respecting each other's wishes. He has never done it like this before, but then again, he never had a real relationship before.

“Yes,” Renjun said curtly.

“Okay,” Jeno nodded and turned to leave the room without another word. Renjun was shocked that Jeno left so abruptly. He almost got up to stop him, but he decided against it. After all, he was the one who rejected him. He made his choice and now he had to live with the consequences.

No matter how painful.


	5. Tension and Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the chapter title isn't clear enough, this whole chapter would be so awkward/painful to read so I'm sorry in advance. 🙃  
> I know it'll be quite frustrating to read, but Renjun is just really, really stubborn here (and fickle at the same time, so he's basically just being an Aries that he is lol). I'll stop talking now and just let you read. Thank you so much for reading as always 🤍🤍

The rest of their time in Yangyang was so miserable and awkward. No one talked to each other, no one even looked at each other. Donghyuck finally had enough and announced he and Renjun are having their lunch separately. They tried a cute little cafe nearby, having pastas and coffee in the outdoor area, facing the beach.

The weather was perfect for strolling on the beach, so they did, even though the water was too cold for any real swimming. All they could do was dipping their toes in the water and taking pictures of each other.

“Mark just saw my Instastory, he doesn’t even follow me,” Donghyuck chuckled. “Oh, okay, now he does.”

“You’re mad at him, yet you still enjoy his attention?” Renjun scoffed.

“I mean, it’s harmless,” Donghyuck shrugged.

“You like him, don’t you?” Renjun narrowed his eyes.

“I like his dick,” Donghyuck grinned. Renjun rolled his eyes at the lewd language.

The drive back to Seoul was painfully silent, except for the music Jeno put on. Since Mark was the one who drove, he insisted on dropping Donghyuck off at his place. He got out of the car with Donghyuck and they talked quickly before Donghyuck entered his building.

“What did he say?” Jeno asked after Mark got back in.

“He said he wasn’t mad anymore,” Mark shrugged. Jeno hummed and Mark dropped the topic right away. Renjun felt like they would talk about it more if he wasn’t there.

When they got to Mark’s place, Renjun suddenly realized he would have to be alone with Jeno for weeks after this. The thought freaked him out a little bit. When Renjun moved to the front seat after Mark left, he felt so awkward he couldn’t even look at Jeno’s direction.

“Do we need to stop by somewhere?” Jeno asked.

“Supermarket. We don’t have anything at home,” Renjun said.

“You don’t have to cook anymore if you don’t want to,” Jeno told him after a pause, surprising Renjun. What did cooking have to do with their recent disagreement anyway?

“It’s fine, I want to,” Renjun hurriedly assured him.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to look after me,” Jeno said.

“Um.. I never feel that way, but okay,” Renjun wasn’t sure where this was going.

“I can take care of my own meal,” Jeno said again. Renjun didn’t expect Jeno would be this petty after acting so calm when they talked earlier.

“Hyung, it’s fine. I don’t mind cooking for both of us. It’s not a chore at all.”

“Okay,” Jeno nodded curtly, just to get him off his back.

Jeno paid for everything at the supermarket, ignoring Renjun’s protest. Then he told him to buy their next groceries online, so they didn’t have to go out each time. Renjun thought Jeno just didn’t want to spend time with him.

“You don’t need to cook for dinner. I’m not having any,” Jeno told him right after they got home. Before Renjun could say anything, he went upstairs and locked himself inside his room.

Renjun walked to his room and collapsed on his bed. He felt completely defeated, wondering if he even made the right decision. Because it didn’t feel right. Not in the slightest.

*

Jeno already started writing when Renjun showed up in the study with a cup of coffee at hand. He turned to his direction when he came in but offered no words or greeting.

“Good morning,” Renjun said tentatively. Jeno only hummed in response.

“Have you had breakfast, hyung?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah,” Jeno nodded. “I finished the second act, by the way. You can read it if you want.”

“What?” Renjun rasped and checked the draft right away. He did just as he said. The whole scene was done, and he was now writing the first scene of the third act.

Renjun didn’t know what to feel about Jeno taking over his portion of work. He knew it wasn’t that big of a deal. Jeno probably needed to start working and just picked where they left off. It still didn’t feel good. He could’ve talked to him first. Renjun was right next door, for god’s sake.

“It’s okay, right?” Jeno asked offhandedly.

“Yeah, okay,” Renjun swallowed his annoyance. “When did you start writing?”

“Midnight, maybe? I couldn’t sleep.” Jeno still wouldn’t look at him.

“You haven’t slept, hyung?” Renjun asked, worried. Jeno just shrugged. “Aren’t you tired? You should take a nap or something.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about me,” Jeno scoffed. Renjun had the urge to fuss over him and force him to rest, but Jeno had clearly set their boundaries. He wasn’t about to cross it on the first day.

“So, I’ll just start the next scene?” Renjun checked instead. Jeno nodded without a word. Renjun read what Jeno had written so far before he did anything. He remembered everything Renjun said about the scene, wrote them down and even improved upon it. There was a reason why Jeno won countless awards for his work and it stared at Renjun in the face.

Renjun started writing right away, all fired up after reading Jeno’s work. They worked silently for a couple of hours, until it was time to prepare lunch.

Jeno went down with Renjun, helping him cook, but still wouldn’t say anything beyond asking about cooking instruction. Honestly, Renjun admired his determination, because if it were him, he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut this long, no matter how angry he was.

Jeno thanked him for the meal and ate quietly. The absence of conversations started to suffocate Renjun. If he was alone, he wouldn’t mind it so much, but forcing himself to not start a conversation with Jeno sitting right in front of him was downright agonizing.

Jeno’s plate was empty in five minutes. He wasted no time to get up and washed the dishes, no doubt so he could leave the room as soon as possible.

“Just leave your dish in the sink, I’ll wash it later,” Jeno told him, before leaving the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Renjun asked, right away.

“Take a nap,” Jeno replied shortly. He climbed the stairs without another word and disappeared from Renjun’s sight once again. He took a sip from his glass of water, sighing heavily. The rest of his days here would be hard to go through.

Renjun went back to work alone. Jeno didn’t emerge from his room even after Renjun finished up and went downstairs for dinner. Renjun left Jeno’s meal on the dining table and told him to warm it up on a note. Watching television didn’t feel right without Jeno, so he went back to his bedroom and read a novel before he fell asleep.

*

The silence treatment lasted almost a week until Renjun was thoroughly fed up. As if it weren’t enough that Jeno wouldn’t talk to him or even look at him when they happened to occupy the same room, Jeno even went as far as changing his entire sleeping schedule to avoid him. They only saw each other for a few hours in the morning now.

Honestly, Renjun didn’t understand why he was treated this way in the first place. Was he the one who started flirting with Jeno? Was he the one who couldn’t keep his hands to himself? Wasn’t it Jeno who fucked up after calling him Jaemin while they were making out? Why did he had to suffer from the consequences from his action?

Renjun didn’t even bother to go up after his breakfast. Writing in the same room as Jeno felt like a special kind of torture now. So, he took his laptop downstairs and started writing at the dining table. He wore his earphone and focused on working, he didn’t hear when Jeno rushed downstairs, wide-eyed, and out of breath. He only looked up from his screen when a shadow casted on the dining table.

Jeno looked visibly relieved as he slumped on the chair in front of him. Renjun took off his earphone, forehead wrinkled with confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Renjun asked.

“I thought you left,” Jeno answered weakly. “You didn’t come to the study and your door was locked.”

All his anger just melted away, seeing how panicked Jeno was when he couldn’t physically see him around. Renjun stared at him who was still catching his breath slowly, heart aching from the distance between them he created himself.

“I thought you don’t want me here,” Renjun murmured. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows at that.

“What made you think that?” Jeno asked.

“You’ve been avoiding me since we got back,” Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

“You asked me to,” Jeno said.

“You’re joking, right?” Renjun frowned. Surely, Jeno wasn’t that childish to think that he wanted them to completely avoid each other. They didn’t need to make out to spend time together. They had been doing it for two weeks before their trip to Yangyang. Renjun liked to think they had become friends, at the very least.

“Do you want us to have meals together then cuddle on the sofa while watching a film like we used to? Because I can’t do that, Renjun-ah,” Jeno said matter-of-factly. It was the first time Jeno called him by his actual name. Not Injun, but Renjun. Another reminder of how fucked up their relationship had become.

“We don’t have to cuddle,” Renjun pouted. “But we can hang out.”

“I don’t want to hang out,” Jeno shrugged.

“Fine,” Renjun snapped, swallowing the catch in his throat. “But you don’t have to go out of your way to pretend like I don’t exist, hyung.

“If you don’t want me here, just tell me. I don’t have to stay here to write. You don’t need to change your sleeping pattern to avoid me. It’s your damn house. Just say the word and I can leave today.”

The same heartbroken expression flashed across Jeno’s face for a second. A mere flicker, but Renjun caught it, nonetheless. It felt like a deja vu, a repetition of their conversation back in Yangyang.

“Do you want to leave?” Jeno asked. It was almost the exact question Jeno asked before. _Is that what you want?_

Jeno wouldn’t stop him if he said yes, Renjun learned that the hard way. He would let him go without questions and Renjun would regret it, just like he regretted telling Jeno he wanted a distance between them.

So, Renjun did the exact opposite, listening to his heart for once instead of doggedly trying to protect himself.

“No, hyung, I want to stay,” Renjun choked up on his own words and started crying without warning. Jeno took a sharp breath and moved so he could sit next to him and touched Renjun’s shoulder hesitantly.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno whispered. “You can stay as long as you want, okay?”

Renjun couldn’t answer without embarrassing himself, so he just hid his face between his arms until his sobs died down and his tears dried. Jeno patted his head gently the whole time, calming him down.

Renjun didn’t know how much he missed Jeno’s touch, but now that he got it back, it hit him with a full force. The thirst and yearning almost overwhelmed him. It wasn’t enough. He wanted more and more.

Jeno gave him tissues as he slowly straightened his back, too shy to look up and let Jeno see his face. He mumbled, telling Jeno he needed to go to the bathroom and washed his face.

When he walked out, Jeno was still sitting on the same spot. His expression softened when their eyes met. Not quite a smile, but Renjun was relieved anyway.

“Better?” Jeno asked. Renjun nodded sheepishly. “I’m going to take a nap. I’m not avoiding you, okay? I’m only tired, I didn’t really sleep last night.”

Jeno’s messed up sleeping pattern started to worry Renjun. He didn’t want him to suddenly get sick like he did before, but their relationship was too fragile to voice out his concern. Jeno wouldn’t want to hear it anyway.

“Okay,” Renjun said in a small voice.

“Wake me up for dinner,” Jeno told him before dragging his feet upstairs, back hunching from fatigue.

Renjun couldn’t really write after, too worked up to focus back on the script. He started cooking instead and had an early lunch. He only got back writing in the afternoon to finish the scene he was working on. He got back to his room and took a shower before deciding to wake Jeno up for dinner.

No answer from Jeno after he knocked the door several time, so he tentatively peeked inside. Jeno was deep in sleep, cocooned under the duvet in the middle of the bed. Renjun sat down at the edge of the bed and patted his arm to wake him up.

“Hyung, you still want to have dinner?” Renjun asked. Jeno grunted, curling up toward him.

“Yeah,” Jeno said, but made no effort to wake up.

“Or do you still want to sleep?” Renjun asked again.

“I should eat something,” Jeno mumbled.

“Are you sick again?” Renjun reached out to touch Jeno’s forehead but stopped himself. Jeno shook his head slowly.

“Just tired,” Jeno murmured.

“You need to rest more, hyung, stop writing in the middle of the night,” Renjun finally said what had been bugging him. Jeno looked up to him with glazed eyes and a small pout. All Renjun wanted to do was to kiss it better.

“Why do you care so much?” Jeno huffed, more wistful than annoyed. “Stop being so nice to me.”

Before Renjun could say anything, he turned to his side with his back facing him. Renjun sighed before getting off the bed to give him some space.

“Just go down when you’re hungry. I’ll warm the food for you,” Renjun told him. Jeno didn’t answer, so Renjun left him alone and went down to the kitchen. While he waited for the soup to warm up, his phone buzzed with a call from Yukhei.

“Hi, babe,” Yukhei greeted cheerfully with his loud voice. God, Renjun didn’t have enough energy for this.

“Hi, Xuxi,” Renjun said weakly.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” Yukhei asked, concerned.

“No,” Renjun chuckled. “Just a little tired.”

“I just arrived in Seoul, by the way,” Yukhei told him. “I’m still in the airport, as a matter of fact.”

Right. Renjun completely forgot that Yukhei was coming. “How long you’ll be here?” He asked.

“Four days,” Yukhei answered quickly, before suggesting, ”Are you free tonight? Should we have dinner?”

“Um...” Renjun checked the time. Eight in the evening. “I’m staying in a friend’s place in Buamdong, so it’ll be too late if I leave now.”

“You have a friend in Buamdong?” Yukhei snorted, surprised. “Isn’t that, like, a rich neighborhood?”

Renjun laughed at his bluntness. One of Yukhei’s characteristic he liked so much. Most of the time, he could only get away with half the things he said because of his enormous charm and good look.

“Yeah, it’s for work, actually,” Renjun chuckled. He was startled when Jeno suddenly appeared in his line of sight, still wearing pajamas and bed hair.

“Do you need help?” Jeno asked.

“No, it’s fine,” Renjun answered in Mandarin, carried away by his conversation with Yukhei. Jeno just looked at him blankly. He grinned sheepishly and repeated his answer in Korean. Jeno nodded and sat down at the dining table.

“Your friend?” Yukhei asked.

“Yes,” Renjun turned off the stove and walked out to the patio facing the backyard. Jeno wouldn’t understand what he was talking about with Yukhei, but it felt weird to do it in front of him, nonetheless.

“So, when will you be free?” Yukhei asked.

“Tomorrow?”

“I can’t, got an invitation for dinner with the designers,” Yukhei scoffed. “Or do you want to come with me? It’s in a fancy restaurant.”

“Nah,” Renjun was already exhausted just hearing about it. “Let’s just eat barbeque or get some drinks somewhere.”

“Sounds good,” Yukhei chuckled. “Day after tomorrow okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Should I pick you up?”

“You got a car?”

“I can rent one.”

“Stop splurging for unnecessary thing,” Renjun scolded him affectionately. “We’re drinking anyway, you can’t drive.”

“Oh, right, I forgot,” Yukhei giggled. “Let’s meet downtown, then.”

“Okay, see you.”

When Renjun got back inside, Jeno already set the table for both of them. Renjun joined him, smiling as he thanked him. Jeno’s polite smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“A friend?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah, he’s coming from Hong Kong,” Renjun nodded. “I’m seeing him the day after tomorrow.”

“How did you know him?” Jeno asked conversationally.

Renjun told him that Yukhei was an exchange student, majoring in dance in their university. Sicheng, who was his senior in the department, introduced Yukhei to their group of friends and the rest was history.

“So, you’re going to hang out with your friends again?” Jeno kept prodding.

“No, just the two of us,” Renjun answered absentmindedly.

Renjun’s phone kept chiming, announcing texts from Yukhei. They rarely talked when they resided in different countries, but as soon as they were under the same Seoul sky, Yukhei would always text endlessly, hungry for attention.

“Answer him,” Jeno cocked his head toward Renjun’s phone. Renjun shook his head and set his phone into silent mode instead. He still didn’t know what to say to Jeno, so he kept eating quietly.

“Should we continue watching Skam after this?” Jeno suggested.

“Really?” Renjun looked up to him, surprised.

“Yeah, why not?” Jeno shrugged.

“Okay,” Renjun nodded, excited.

They still didn’t talk much during dinner—or even after they moved to the living room—but the silence wasn’t tense like before. It was still awkward between them, but even that was an improvement compared to the last few days.

Jeno fell asleep sometimes in the middle of the season two, slumping on the sofa with weary expression on his face. With the way he kept saying he had trouble sleeping, Renjun didn’t have the heart to wake him up. So, he stayed there, turned the volume down and kept watching.

He must have fallen asleep himself, because he was lying down when he came to. The television was still on, somehow repeating the previous episode he already watched. Then, he felt a dip on the sofa. Jeno moved closer to him while he was asleep.

He closed his eyes again as he had an inkling what Jeno was about to do. Jeno’s dainty fingers found their way onto his head, running gently between his hair. He froze in place, pretending to be asleep just so he could enjoy Jeno’s touch a little longer.

After a few minutes, Jeno slid his fingers down and caressed his cheeks softly. This simple intimacy already made his heart pounded loudly in his chest, but then Jeno leaned closer and bruised his lips high on his cheekbone. Renjun felt like he was about to combust, all thanks to the unexpected kiss.

The urge to open his eyes and latch their lips together was almost overwhelming. He wondered how would Jeno react if he really does that. Would Jeno start to avoid him again? They barely made up, he shouldn’t risk it.

What if he called you Jaemin again, a voice at the back of his mind whispered. Renjun didn’t think he would survive it if Jeno does that the second time.

Maybe this was enough, Renjun thought. Maybe it was time for him to stop wanting more and keep hurting himself. No need to hold his hopes up, just take whatever Jeno offered instead. That way he wouldn’t be disappointed when things didn’t go the way he wanted it to be.

Deep down, Renjun knew it was all bullshit, but it still gave him a small sense of relief. For now, at the very least.

*

Their routine went back to normal the next couple of days, more or less. Jeno slept through the night and started his day in the morning, instead of at the dead of the night. They had their meals together and picked up where they left off with the tv series they were watching at night.

Renjun found himself trying to write slower just so he could stretch his time with Jeno a little bit longer. He didn’t know what would happen after they finished the screenplay, and he was too scared to talk or even think about it.

Not that it mattered, since Jeno didn’t seem concerned that their time together was running out. He just breezed through his portion of scenes like he was possessed. At this point, he already wrote more than half the third act by himself.

The afternoon before he met Yukhei, he stopped writing an hour early so he could get ready to leave.

“Where are you going?” Jeno asked when he closed his laptop.

“I’m meeting my friend. I told you before,” Renjun answered.

“Oh, right,” Jeno nodded. “What time will you get back?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun shrugged. He might even not go back tonight. Yukhei told him to just stay with in his hotel so Renjun could enjoy the breakfast buffet in the morning. The way Yukhei suggested it was too innocent to make Renjun doubted the motive behind the invitation. But, they did make out the last time they met, so anything could happen, really.

“Where’s your friend staying?” Jeno asked. Renjun offhandedly mentioned the hotel Yukhei was staying at. It cracked the neutral expression on Jeno’s face. When he blurted his next question, he didn’t even hide the jealousy in his voice, “Are you going to stay with him?”

“We’ll see,” Renjun replied curtly, vague enough to feed on Jeno’s possessive streak. He couldn’t help it. Jeno was even jealous of Donghyuck before. What would he do if he knew about what happened between Renjun and Yukhei?

Jeno immediately frowned and Renjun felt a hint of satisfaction for breaking through his indifference. Jeno opened his mouth to say something, but Renjun’s phone rang at the exact same time. A call from Yukhei.

“Why?” Renjun asked after he picked up.

“I rented a car after all,” Yukhei giggled.

“What the hell, Xuxi?” Renjun scoffed.

“Come on, I can pick you up now. Buamdong is so freaking far anyway,” Yukhei scoffed back. “Send me your location, I’m going there now.”

“It’s not my house, you can’t just invite yourself here,” Renjun chided.

“Your location, babe, come on,” Yukhei ignored him like he always did. It was useless to scold Yukhei because he would end up doing anything he wants anyway.

“Fine, just let me know when you’re close, okay? I’ll come out.”

“Alright, see you later.”

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off him the whole time, like he could understand what he was saying if he stared hard enough. Renjun wasn’t sure whether he should tell Jeno or not, but the house was his, so it made sense to let him know, right?

“He is picking me up. It’s okay, right?” Renjun asked. Jeno’s face darkened even more.

“Sure,” Jeno said before turning around to face his computer again. Renjun left the room without saying anything else because what else he could do? He dug his own grave like usual and now he started to regret running his mouth without thinking it through.

He got ready quickly, putting on casual clothes—a plaid flannel shirt, faded jeans and a black coat. He didn’t want Jeno to think he put too much effort for Yukhei.

Good god, he started to overthink this already. He was just going out for a freaking meal.

Yukhei called, telling him he was close, so Renjun got out of his room and peeked inside the study to let Jeno know he was leaving. He didn’t expect for Jeno to get up and follow him downstairs.

“Tell him to come in,” Jeno said as he pressed the button on the intercom to open the gate.

“Okay,” Renjun nodded nervously, because usually Yukhei was touchy and affectionate—with everyone, not just him. Of course, Jeno didn’t know that and Renjun wasn’t sure how to explain it to him without making it weird.

A black sport car entered Jeno’s driveway slowly, making Renjun rolled his eyes in disbelief. Such a showoff, Yukhei was. Jeno looked thoroughly unimpressed as they both walked out to the terrace.

“Hi, babe,” Yukhei greeted in freaking English, instead of the usual Mandarin, as Renjun approached him. As if it wasn’t enough, he pulled Renjun close, drowning him in an enthusiastic embrace. Fuck. Jeno would definitely misunderstand now.

“Hi, Xuxi,” Renjun said softly, trying not to freak out.

“Miss you,” Yukhei murmured—blessedly, in Mandarin.

“Me too,” Renjun whispered back before quickly stepping away from him. Yukhei didn’t really let go of him though. His hand still rested comfortably on Renjun’s waist. Jeno, who was still standing on the terrace, raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Renjun had no choice but to gently push his hand away.

“Should I say hello to your friend?” Yukhei asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded. He was almost afraid to look at Jeno’s expression, but unlike a few minutes ago, Jeno was unbelievably friendly, smiling sincerely as he shook Yukhei’s hand.

“We work together,” Jeno explained when Yukhei asked how he and Renjun got to know each other. Yukhei hummed, as his eyes met Renjun’s, grinning.

“We should go, don’t want to be caught in traffic,” Renjun couldn’t wait to leave, especially since he was the only one knew what was exactly going on.

“Have fun, guys!” Jeno chirped, uncharacteristically bright. Renjun snorted, couldn’t believe his eyes and ears.

Later, after Yukhei drove the car out of Jeno’s gate, he asked how did Renjun end up staying there. To protect Jeno’s privacy, Renjun told him Jeno was the type who preferred to stay inside for work—which wasn’t too far from the truth, anyway.

“So, he’s, like, a big scriptwriter?” Yukhei asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded.

“Good for you,” Yukhei smiled encouragingly. “Hope the film will do well. I’ll watch it if it’s screened in Hong Kong.”

“Thanks, Xuxi.”

“Is there something going on between you two, though?” Yukhei turned to look at him as they waited for the red light.

Renjun furrowed his eyebrows with fake confusion, before he asked, “What made you think so?”

“I don’t know. I feel like there’s a vibe between you two,” Yukhei shrugged.

“A vibe?” Renjun deadpanned.

“You know, sexual tension,” Yukhei elaborated, gesturing vaguely. Yukhei only saw them together for a few minutes and he had been able to pick that up? He really was more observant that he let on.

“No way, he’s practically my boss,” Renjun lied shamelessly. Yukhei hummed and dropped the topic.

They had pork belly over grill with soju, while catching up on each other’s life. Yukhei and two other models got a joint photoshoot with Vogue Korea, sponsored by a luxury brand. He made Renjun promised to buy the magazine next month and send it to Hong Kong for him.

Turned out, Yukhei met Chenle and Kun for lunch earlier in the day. When Renjun asked why they all couldn’t just meet at the same time, Yukhei said, “But you were working, right?”

Renjun had been feigning ignorance, but it was getting more and more obvious that Yukhei did want to hookup. He was even touchier than usual, squeezing Renjun’s thigh when they talked, smoothly placing his hand on his waist when they walked together.

The thing was Renjun quite enjoyed the attention. Yukhei wasn’t shy about it either. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the suffocating tension between him and Jeno. Yukhei was easy and comfortable. Renjun didn’t even have to do anything, Yukhei was more than willing to put all the effort.

So, when Yukhei suggested they go to a bar so they could drink some more, Renjun agreed. When Yukhei pulled Renjun closer so he could lean on him as they watched the live music, he let him. When Yukhei followed him to the bathroom, Renjun led him toward one of the stalls and just watched as he locked the door behind him.

“Well?” Yukhei asked, grinning as he stepped into Renjun’s space. Renjun gulped down, suddenly feeling nervous with how quickly this was progressing. One of these days, he should really start thinking more carefully before he does anything, instead of kept going with the flow and panicked when things went off the rails.

“Renjun, look at me,” Yukhei nudged his chin gently to make him tilt his head up. Yukhei’s eyes were honest and sincere. There was no pretense with him. Yukhei was always an open book. “Do you want this?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun murmured, even though he knew the answer already.

“We don’t have to do anything if you’re not up for it,” Yukhei said softly. Honestly, Renjun would be lucky to spend a night with him. On top of being wildly attractive, Yukhei was just impossibly nice and completely chill. If the offer landed on his lap a month ago, Renjun would say yes in a heartbeat.

But Yukhei wasn’t the one he wanted. Not now anyway. Someone else had already occupied his mind and heart. He didn’t have any more space left, even for just a one-night stand.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun looked down to avoid his eyes, feeling guilty for leading him on this far.

“It’s fine,” Yukhei smiled and patted his head. “I probably should be more upfront about it, anyway.”

“You did,” Renjun sighed. “I just pretend I didn’t notice.”

Yukhei laughed as he opened the door and stepped outside. A guy who was doing his business in front of the urinary looked at them funny, but they ignored him.

“You’re into Jeno, right?” Yukhei asked after they stepped out of the bar. Renjun nodded sheepishly.

“You guys should just get over it and fuck,” Yukhei grinned obscenely as he raised his hand to call a taxi for Renjun.

“It’s not that simple,” Renjun sighed.

“It usually is, though,” Yukhei shrugged. “If you don’t think about it too much.”

A taxi stopped in front of them and Yukhei opened the door for him. Renjun stood on his tiptoe so he could give Yukhei a tight hug and a soft ‘thank you’. Yukhei bruised the tip of his nose into his hair as he wrapped his arm around him. The same gesture Jeno gave him a week ago, but Renjun’s heart didn’t react frantically like it did for Jeno.

“Don’t forget my magazine,” Yukhei grinned before he closed the door. Renjun snorted and waved him goodbye as the driver steered the taxi away.

Even in the middle of the night, it still took almost an hour to reach Jeno’s house. Renjun allowed himself pondered over what Yukhei had said during the drive. Maybe he was right. Renjun should just let go and see what happened. God knows Renjun wanted to.

The thing was Renjun never fell this deep before. He never pined on someone this hard or lusting over a specific body to the point he couldn’t resist thinking about him every time he jerked off in the shower.

The worst thing was Jeno had someone else, had known this man his entire life and loved him for the last ten years. Renjun only knew Jeno for less than a month, a mere fraction compared to Jeno and Jaemin’s history together. How anyone could even begin to compete with that? Renjun surely couldn’t.

“We’re here,” The driver told him politely. Renjun snapped out of his daze and took out his wallet to pay. He stood in front of the gate hesitantly, still a bit lightheaded from all the alcohol he drank earlier.

He pressed the bell, grinning at the screen when the intercom lit up. “Hyung…” Renjun called, a little whiny.

“Injun?” Jeno exclaimed in surprise. The gates swung opened and Renjun slipped inside. He strolled along the driveway slowly since it was dark out. Jeno caught up to him midway, running barefoot in his pajamas.

“Why are you coming out?” Renjun asked weakly. “It’s cold.”

Jeno only shrugged, a little breathless. His hand hovered behind Renjun, half hugging him already. The temptation to just lean in was overwhelming. It was all Renjun could think about as they walked back toward the house.

“Do you want some water?” Jeno asked as Renjun tried to get himself together and sat down in the living room to put enough distance between them.

“Okay,” Renjun nodded. Jeno fetched him a glass of water from the kitchen and sat down next to him as he put the glass in Renjun’s hand. Renjun downed the entire glass in five seconds.

“I didn’t think you would come home,” Jeno said. Renjun let that sink in, said nothing as he slowly put down the glass on the table.

“What if I didn’t?” Renjun asked tentatively.

“I don’t know,” Jeno shrugged, clearly sulking. He wouldn’t look at him in the eyes but couldn’t stay away either.

“Hyung…” Renjun felt his heart jumped to his throat with how unguarded Jeno was being.

“What was I supposed to feel then, when he was all over you this afternoon?” Jeno sneered.

“We’re just friends,” Renjun said. Jeno snorted loudly as his lips curled into a frown. The air between them started to crackle with tension. Renjun was rather tired of it. Maybe Yukhei was right. It would be simple if Renjun could just cave in, let the moment carried them away.

“Do you think I’m dumb?” Jeno’s tone was harsh. “You were going to spend the night with him.”

“But I didn’t, right? I don’t want to,” Renjun gulped down thickly. Anticipation filled his stomach, heart thumping loudly in his ears.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s not you, hyung.”

The silence was almost unbearable. Jeno finally looked up to him, eyes filled with hope. Renjun was trembling all over as he leaned closer and planted a tentative kiss on Jeno’s lips. Jeno’s breath hitched with surprise, frozen in place as Renjun pulled away to give him a chance if he wanted to stop.

All Renjun’s senses were almost heightened with how on edge he was. Every single Jeno’s movement played out like a slow-motion scene. How his frown slowly turned into a smile, before he huffed out a tiny laugh and cupped both of Renjun’s cheeks. His warm breath blew gently over Renjun’s face, a split second before Jeno latched their lips together.

Finally pushed himself over the edge, Renjun felt elated, drunk with the sweet taste of Jeno’s lips, his darkened eyes, filled with desire. He tipped forward and let go, fell to the unknown and lost himself in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I promise I will finish the next chapter soon. 😌
> 
> I felt bad for cockblocking Yukhei here hahaha. Let's just say he would find a guy (or girl) to spend the night with after Renjun left him in the dust. Also he's Wong Yukhei so he would have no problem in that department 🤷🏽♀️


	6. Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually finished this chapter even before I posted chapter five, but I can't stop editing it, so I figure I'll just post it to end my misery haha. To be honest, I find it getting more and more similar to my previous work, Risks and All, so I had to consciously try to deviate from it. I don't even know whether I succeeded or not.
> 
> I gotta warn you, a third of the chapter is full of smut. If you wish to skip the scene, it's the first part (from Did you drink a lot to the first asterisk mark). The one takeaway from the scene is (SPOILER AHEAD) Renjun and Jeno done the deed. In the middle of it, Jeno told Renjun that him and Jaemin were the only men Jeno had ever been intimate with. Renjun freaked out when he found out, he lost sleep over it. (SPOILER END)
> 
> It's getting to the end now, hope you all still here with me. Thank you so much for reading until now.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Did you drink a lot?” Jeno asked between kisses, probably sensed the hint of alcohol in Renjun’s mouth.

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded. 

Honestly, he felt gross. He sweated a lot while he danced in the club, his thin makeup already melted on his face and he wasn’t drunk enough to ignore it. But Jeno still looked at him like he was the most beautiful man he ever laid his gaze upon. Realizing his ability to affect Jeno that much sent a tingle all over him.

“Are you still drunk?” Jeno ran his fingers through his hair tenderly. Renjun hummed, leaning into his touch. 

“A bit,” Renjun confessed. 

Jeno looked at him firmly in the eyes, as he whispered, “I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I won’t,” Renjun said. There was no way he would be satisfied with just a kiss. Not when Jeno looked so irresistible with his bitten red lips and flushed face. Not when Renjun already imagined this moment a thousand times in the private confinement of his bedroom.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this while you’re drunk,” Jeno caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“I’m sober enough,” Renjun retorted impatiently. “It’s fine. We waited too long already.”

Jeno chuckled lightly, but still made no effort to close the distance between them, so Renjun boldly climbed into his lap and reached behind his neck. Too self-conscious to look at Jeno in the eyes, he immediately crashed their lips together. A gasp escaped Jeno’s mouth, his hand gripped onto Renjun’s thighs in surprise.

“Do you still want to stop?” Renjun whispered in a low voice. It just went to show how desperate he was.

“No,” Jeno rasped, sounded wrecked already. “Just kiss me again.” 

Renjun licked into his mouth, sliding his tongue in, and instantly making it filthy. He felt the rush coursing through his body, rising his temperature up. His hips rocked into Jeno’s spontaneously, eager for friction. He was so aroused, it almost started to hurt.

“Hyung, ah,” Renjun moaned unabashedly when Jeno palmed over his ass encouragingly as he kept grinding into him, started to feel frustrated as his jeans prevented him to feel Jeno properly.

“Fuck, your jeans,” Jeno groaned. 

“Sorry,” Renjun stopped moving immediately. Jeno giggled lightheartedly as he cupped cheeks fondly.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom, yeah?” Jeno suggested. Renjun nodded sheepishly.

Jeno turned off the light and the heater before taking Renjun’s hand to lead him upstairs. For being so nervous earlier, Renjun was surprised to find himself feeling quite calm now. Excited still, but without the trembling hands and the frantic heart.

“Can I take a shower first?” Renjun asked. He wanted to get rid his cigarettes stained clothes and the icky feeling on his skin. For how much he wanted this to happen, he wanted to be fresh and sexy for Jeno. Not this drunk and sweaty version of him.

“Yeah, of course,” Jeno nodded. Jeno followed him into his room and leaned closer right away, chasing his lips with reckless abandon. Fingers busied with the buttons of his shirt. Renjun let Jeno stripped him, sighing as Jeno caressed his nipples, his bare stomach.

“Should I go in with you?” Jeno asked.

In other situations, with other men, Renjun would absolutely say no, but Jeno was different. There was something about him, about this moment that gave him assurance to let his guard down. It wouldn’t be weird or embarrassing, because Jeno would take care of him, he had no doubt about it. 

“Yes,” Renjun rasped breathlessly. Eyes already glassy as Jeno fumbled over his belt. Renjun reached down to help him, quickly unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall on the floor. Jeno swiftly discarded his t-shirt and sweatpants next. He wore nothing underneath, making Renjun grinned.

Jeno looked good with his clothes on, but he was breathtaking naked. The way his body was build was unreal. Renjun almost drooled as his eyes fell on his broad shoulders, to his abs and slim waist. He palmed Jeno’s stomach, not quite defined but the traces were still there.

“I haven’t worked out lately,” Jeno said sheepishly.

“Still hot, though,” Renjun murmured, slithering his hand down his happy trail, right into his length, thick and heavy in his grasp. Jeno gasped, as Renjun slid his thumb slowly on the head.

“Come on,” Renjun rushed him to the bathroom and turned on the shower. They made out some more while waiting for the water to turn warmer. 

“How do you want this, Injun-ah?” Jeno asked in a low voice, deep with desire. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Huh? I’m…” Renjun stammered from the unexpected question. He never fucked anyone before. It was always the other way around for him, always a relish to let his partner took control.

“You want to be fucked? Is that what you want?” Jeno tilted his head, smiling cutely as he reached between Renjun’s legs and stroked him lazily.

“Yes, hyung,” Renjun felt weak in the knees, eyes fluttering close as pleasure swirled through his body.

They both stepped under the shower. Jeno pulled him closer, with his hand splayed across his stomach. Renjun leaned back, exposing his neck for Jeno to devour. Jeno happily obliged, planted open mouthed kisses onto his neck. His other hand reached out to the rack, looking for soap. He chuckled when he found lube instead.

“You like jerking off in here, Injun-ah?” He teased. Renjun let out a strangled moan and nodded. “Did you think about me when you touch yourself?”

“Yeah,” Renjun murmured. Jeno let him go for a second so he could pour some lube to slick the slide.

“Like this?” Jeno fastened the snap of his hand. Renjun almost choked, gasping as he braced himself on the wall. He had imagined Jeno touched him in this exact position before and the thought sent a shiver down his spine.

“Hyung, stop, I’ll come,” Renjun managed to croak out, scrambling to restrain himself. Jeno hummed and slowly came into a halt, gripping both of Renjun’s waist as he tried to catch his breath. It was useless because Jeno slipped his finger between his ass and rubbed the rim of his entrance. 

Jeno worked him open and cleaned him at the same time, ignoring Renjun’s embarrassed protest. Jeno practically fucked him with his fingers until his entire body trembled, legs almost gave up from the intensity. Jeno had to hold him close so he didn’t fall over.

“I haven’t even washed up,” Renjun said incredulously when Jeno finally let him go.

“Let me,” Jeno said gently, rubbing his body with soap, then shampoo. It felt good to be taken care of, to be pampered, especially when Jeno’s touch was so gentle and affectionate. 

They dried each other with the same towel, shivering in the cold air of the bathroom. Then they stumbled on top of each other on the bed with skin still damp and moist. Renjun lay on his back, watching with hooded eyes as Jeno lubed himself up before kneeling between his legs, his elbows rested between Renjun’s head, caging him in. 

“Hyung,” Renjun whined, as Jeno lined their lengths together and rocked his hips slowly. He turned his head to the side and buried his face on the pillow, flustered under his gaze. 

“No, I want to see you,” Jeno reached for his cheek, gently turn his face so he could look at him in the eyes. Their lips found the other, lips parted and tongue swirling in. Heavy breaths and soft moans hang in the air between them.

“Wait, do you have condom?” Jeno suddenly pulled away and asked.

“No…” Renjun shook his head, because hooking up in Jeno’s house was the last thing on his mind when he moved in.

“Me neither,” Jeno sat up, gesturing vaguely. “I mean… you know…” 

“What?” Renjun raised his eyebrows.

“I never needed one before,” Jeno shrugged.

Renjun had to pause for a couple of second and let the information sink in. It made sense that Jeno didn’t need condom when he was still in a relationship, but it had been a year since the breakup. Surely, Jeno had hookups during that time?

“Um, yeah, I never…” Jeno’s voice trailed off when Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

“You never had casual sex before?” Renjun had to make sure he didn’t assume incorrectly.

“Yes,” Jeno nodded sheepishly.

This wasn’t really the time and place, Renjun thought. He couldn’t believe Jeno really dropped the news while still holding their dick in his hand. Frankly, he really didn’t need to know he was only the second man Jeno ever lay on the bed with—or at least, not now.

“I’m clean,” Jeno told him hurriedly. Of course, you are, Renjun thought to himself with annoyance.

“Me too. I took the tests last month,” Renjun murmured. The timing of his move into Jeno’s house coincided with his regular health check. He took the standard tests a few days after he visited Jeno’s house for the first time. It all came out clean.

“So, is it fine raw?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Renjun pulled him in again to ease the awkwardness, rolling his hips at the same time. Jeno groaned with surprise, looking visibly relieved as he latched their lips together.

It was easy to put a definite pause for the rising anxiety dragging on the back of Renjun’s mind as soon as he felt Jeno’s hardness sliding between his cheeks, rubbing the sensitive rim of his entrance. 

“Fuck me, hyung, come on,” Renjun urged, gasping as Jeno slowly grinded himself in. Jeno moved his hip slowly, shallowly to ease the slide, making Renjun sighed quietly.

“Good?” Jeno asked softly.

“Yeah,” Renjun whispered.

Jeno started to fuck him for real, setting an easy pace so he could steal kisses in between. Renjun grabbed onto his arms, constantly moaning and whining. He had always been loud in bed, usually too lost in pleasure to be self-conscious about it. And now for the first time ever, he didn’t have to hold himself back since no one would be able to hear them.

“Faster,” Renjun pleaded.

“Like this?” Jeno positioned Renjun half on his lap, as he kneeled on the bed, before snapping his hips and grinding into him harder, faster.

“Yes, yes,” Renjun babbled, eyes rolled back with bliss. The new angle felt even better if that was even possible.

“Injun…” The way Jeno muttered his name, low and deep in the back of his throat stirred something in his chest. No one had ever got close enough to be able to call him with that name during sex. 

“Hyung…” Renjun felt the urge to touch him, kiss him. He reached for him and only managed to grip his forearm. Jeno was so far away with this position. It didn’t matter if it were better, Renjun would rather have Jeno’s arms around him.

“Why?” Jeno asked softly.

“You’re too far,” He murmured. Jeno laughed, sending the quiver straight into his dick inside him. Renjun gasped at the feeling.

He leaned forward and Renjun automatically raised his legs higher to make space for him, hooking his legs behind him.

“Shit…” Jeno groaned at the new angle, feeling Renjun tightened around him. His mouth found its way onto Renjun’s neck and wrapping his arms around him, just like Renjun wanted.

“Is it good, Hyung?” Renjun asked, hungry for praise.

“Yes, you feel so good,” Jeno whispered as he grabbed onto his waist for purchase before ramming into him, upping the intensity even more. Renjun wailed breathlessly, buried his face on his shoulder.

“I’m close...” Jeno nipped into his lips, biting lightly as he pounded into him harder, hitting the sweet spot inside Renjun in every thrust. His hand reached down to stroke him, urging him to come at the same time.

“Hyung…” Renjun sobbed, moaning into his mouth. “Jeno hyung…”

Renjun’s whole body shuddered as he came hard, shooting all over Jeno’s hand and his own stomach. Jeno stroked him all the way, murmuring how he had been so good for him.

“Do you want me to pull out?” Jeno asked gently.

“No, it’s fine,” Renjun moved his hips to encourage him, gasping at the intensity.

“Okay,” Jeno rocked into him once again, while Renjun watched him with glassy eyes, caressing the side of his jaw. Jeno didn’t take long, moaning his name while his release spilled deep inside him. Renjun sighed weakly at the feeling and collapsed on the bed, panting like he just ran a marathon. Jeno slumped on top of him, no one talked until both of them could catch their breath. 

“Injun-ah…” Jeno whispered.

“Yeah?” Renjun rasped. When Jeno didn’t say anything, he tilted his head up to look at him. His gaze was tender and intense at the same time, completely unguarded. It was almost too much, especially after sex, with their bodies still connected.

Jeno planted a kiss between his eyes, then his cheek, the tip of his nose. Renjun’s eyes fluttered close and his mouth already parted open when their lips finally met for a heated kiss. It unraveled something in him and before he knew it, his anxieties came back in full force, messing with his mind.

A small voice in his head taunted him, telling him that what just happened was more than sex and he should just admit it. The voice reminded him that Jeno only had been with his first love prior to this night. The concept of casual sex was so foreign to him, he never needed a condom before, for fuck’s sake.

Renjun had been living in his house, work with him, taking care of him without being asked. Now they had a mind-blowing sex and a cuddle afterward. What would be next? Would Renjun stay permanently in his life? What would that entail? Would he be Jeno’s new romance for the next ten years?

The thought already scared him to death. He wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. He wasn’t even sure he wanted one in the first place. Because he needed to, like, love Jeno to be in that kind of relationship with him, right? And he wasn’t sure what he felt for Jeno was deep enough to be called love.

“Let me clean you up,” Jeno whispered, unaware of the chaos in Renjun’s mind. Jeno pulled out of him and laid him gently on the bed. Jeno climbed out of bed to clean himself and fetch a wet towel to wipe Renjun with. Renjun couldn’t even look at him in the eyes as he did.

When Jeno finally lay beside him and covered their bodies with the blanket, Renjun rolled to his side so he didn’t have to face him. Jeno still pulled him close, wrapping his arm around him.

“Good night, Injun-ah,” Jeno murmured.

“Good night, hyung,” Renjun whispered back. 

It didn’t take long for Jeno to fall asleep. His breath soft and steady against his nape. Renjun, on the other hand, just stared at the wall, utterly restless with a catch on his throat and his heart in his mouth. All night long.

*

Jeno’s blinding smile was the first thing Renjun saw when he woke up in the morning. Fuck, he looked genuinely happy as he stared at him and slowly caressed his cheek, while Renjun just felt dead inside, tired after letting his busy thoughts keep him awake through the night.

“Morning,” Jeno said.

“Morning,” Renjun’s voice was hoarse, still heavy with sleep.

“You look tired,” Jeno cooed, patting his head.

“Need more sleep,” Renjun murmured. 

“Get some more sleep, then, I’ll be next door if you need me,” Jeno hummed and planted a kiss on the top of his head. He carefully climbed out of bed and stepped out of the room, as if he didn’t want to disturb Renjun’s rest.

His body was completely drained out, too tired to even form a coherent thought. With his eyes closed, Renjun drifted back to sleep, deeper and dreamless this time. 

The sound of the door opened woke Renjun up sometime in the afternoon. He couldn’t be bothered to open his eyes until he felt the dip on the bed as Jeno lay down beside him.

“Are you not feeling well? You never sleep this much before,” Jeno asked. Renjun groaned softly and finally opened his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he lied automatically because the real answer was impossible to articulate.

“You should eat something,” Jeno stroke his hair gently. “I ordered chicken soup.”

“Okay, let me wash up first,” Renjun finally got up, but stopped himself when he realized he was still naked from last night.

“Why?” Jeno asked.

“No, just…” Renjun felt ridiculous when he started to blush from the thought. 

“Injun-ah, I already saw everything,” Jeno laughed in disbelief.

“I know, but…” Renjun whined. It was different when the room was bright from daylight and he wasn’t out of his mind with lust.

“Okay, I’ll get out,” Jeno messed with his hair fondly before leaving him alone. Renjun stretched his arms before finally crawling out of the bed into the bathroom. 

When he went down to the kitchen, Jeno was already waiting for him with bowls of hot soup and rice on the table. The food helped immensely to kick him alive and made him feel so much better.

“Did you write today?” Renjun asked him. Jeno nodded, letting him know which scenes were finished. It wouldn’t take too long to finish the first draft now. Maybe he should let Mark knew their progress. He kept forgetting to give him updates.

“Let’s take the rest of the day off,” Jeno said. Renjun agreed right away, because there was no way he would be able to write at the moment.

They moved to the living room after all the food was finished and the dishes had been washed. Jeno put on a nature documentary he liked to watch sometimes—which was Renjun grateful for because he didn’t have the brain capacity to consume more elaborate content.

Renjun sat down next to him, close enough for their knees to brush into each other, but not close enough for a cuddle.

“Come here, why do you sit so far away?” Jeno opened his arm and cocked his head. Renjun scooted closer without another word, feeling guilty for not being able to resist the affection Jeno always ready to give. Affection Renjun wasn’t exactly have the right to receive.

He wondered when and how he earned this kind of gesture. How did Jeno even come to conclusion than he deserved it? Because he felt completely unworthy of it. 

Just last night, Renjun was even considering hooking up with another guy, but when he came crawling back, Jeno didn’t make a big deal out of it and just took whatever Renjun offered him. Honestly, Jeno was a saint for putting up with his shit.

God, he was even too wrapped up in his own thought right now to appreciate how eager Jeno was for a cuddle, how his arms completely enveloped him, pulling him closer so he could lean back on him.

“Injun-ah…” Jeno called hesitantly as he carded his fingers into Renjun’s hair. Renjun hummed, still trying to force himself to relax, to no avail.

“Can I tell you something?” Jeno asked. 

Renjun went rigid by the question. “Yeah,” He managed to croak out before Jeno got suspicious.

“I know you probably thought I still can’t get over Jaemin after what happened, but I promise you it wasn’t like that. It’s just…” Jeno sighed heavily. 

“It was more like I haven’t really forgiven myself for fucking up. I didn’t even realize how unhappy he was before he left. We dated so long at that point, so it was easy to take our relationship for granted, that we would be okay even if I didn’t do anything, until everything just kind of blow up in my face.”

Renjun felt a pang in his chest, a bittersweet feeling of wanting to console Jeno for his heartbreak, but slightly loathe him at the same time for talking about his ex-boyfriend with so much pain in his voice. He was glad he didn’t have to face Jeno because he really didn’t know what to say or even what kind of expression he should wear on his face.

“He was my best friend as much as my lover and he used to live here before, so of course it was hard at first. It took a long time to get used to…” Jeno continued. “It’s hard to be alone in this house. I usually did better with a company. That’s why I insisted for you to move in here.”

It didn’t surprise Renjun. He had suspected as much with the way Jeno seemed to revel in his presence or how he sulked every time Renjun left the house, but to hear it put into words was a different matter altogether. 

“I’m sorry I know it was selfish of me,” Jeno said when Renjun didn’t say anything.

“It was hardly a difficult choice to live in this house,” Renjun scoffed.

“It was like a wakeup call for me, having you around. I have to get my shit together, so I don’t embarrass myself in front of you,” Jeno smiled.

“And you completely pulled it off,” Renjun deadpanned because they both know it was the opposite. Not when Jeno got sick that one time just because he couldn’t sleep in his own room.

The way Jeno burst out laughing at his own expense was endearing to hear. Renjun couldn’t help turning to his side so he could look at him. Jeno smiled as he did, leaning closer to plant a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I’m glad you’re here,” He said simply and Renjun was a beat too late to avert his gaze. He blushed furiously, stammered through his effort to answer him. Jeno didn’t tease him for it but wouldn’t look away either, making Renjun clammed up even more.

“Me too,” Renjun just said dumbly. Jeno didn’t say anything else, only tightened his hug and rested his chin on Renjun’s shoulder. Renjun wanted to squirm from the awkwardness he felt.

“So, um, you don’t talk to Jaemin anymore?” Renjun was still curious.

“No, we decided it would be best if we just stay out of each other’s life, so it was easier to move on,” Jeno replied.

“You haven’t met him since you broke up?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah, we’ve been avoiding each other,” Jeno chuckled dryly. “We even divided our group of friends. His friends are off limit for me too.”

“So, you get Mark?” Renjun tried to joke, like Jeno got his custody.

“Yeah,” Jeno answered, smiling fondly. “Mark had always been closer to me, anyway.”

“Do you think you should meet him eventually?” Renjun couldn’t help asking because that was what happened in films, usually. A closure.

“To talk, you mean?” Jeno asked back. Renjun nodded. “No, we went through all that already. There was no misunderstanding or anything like that.”

It sounded so much like an adult relationship, something Renjun had little understanding of and as a result, terrified him vehemently. None of his few close encounters to a relationship had a positive conclusion. 

His first love rejected him because the man chose a girl over him, saying he was straight after all. Then he had to reject a friend with benefit when he told Renjun he was in love with him. He also had a bad habit for crushing on his straight friends, so he just kept setting himself up for disappointment after disappointment.

Renjun told Jeno all that, feeling more and more childish for his juvenile experience in that department. Jeno’s response was never unkind, but it was getting more and more apparent how different their perspective on romantic relationships was.

“So just gave up on trying to make it work after your first love left you?” Jeno concluded. It shouldn’t hurt to hear his entire love life reduced into a sentence, but it still left a bitter taste in his mouth to hear Jeno spelled it out for him.

“Um, yeah, kind of…” Renjun shrugged because what else he could say.

How could he even begin to explain to Jeno how his perception of a relationship had been fucked up since he witnessed the downfall of his parents’ marriage when he was ten and how ugly it became. How he had never seen a heterosexual relationship really worked in real life, let alone a homosexual one. How he convinced himself he probably would never get the lifetime partner everyone seemed to chase after, because he was too scared to let anyone in.

“What about us, then?” Jeno asked. His tone was wary, cautious as if he didn’t want to spook him. Renjun knew it was coming. It was inevitable, really, but he still felt panic rising from his stomach as soon as the topic came out.

He started to shift away from Jeno, so they could have a proper conversation. Jeno loosened his hug and Renjun could settle beside him with his back against the sofa.

“I don’t know, hyung…” Renjun said, more honest that he had been with Jeno before. Jeno scoffed in disbelief as he folded his arms, immediately took a defensive stance.

“Is this…” Jeno paused in frustration. “Is this just sex to you? Am I just your friend with benefit?”

“No…” Renjun shook his head, but even his weak answer sounded unconvincing to himself.

“Do you worry about your friend like you did to me? Do you cook for them every day and take care of them when they’re sick?” Jeno challenged, getting more and more worked up as he continued.

“I mean… yeah, if I live with them,” Renjun answered honestly. It was in his nature to take care of people around him. He treated Yangyang and Chenle the same way when they were still living next to each other back in their university days.

“Do you turn down a man for them, then? You told me last night you won’t sleep with Yukhei because he’s not me,” Jeno argued right away.

“I think it’s pretty obvious I’m attracted to you, hyung, so, I’m not going to deny it,” Renjun said matter-of-factly. 

“You honestly think it was just a mere attraction? When we practically made love last night? What the hell does it mean to you if it’s not love?” Jeno rants, obviously frustrated. Renjun never seen him losing his calm like this. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. 

It was not about the lack of feeling in his part, because as strongheaded as Renjun was, he knew Jeno meant much more than just a body he lusted after. He cared about him, more than he ever cared for anyone before, in fact.

It was more about how Renjun didn’t think it would work. How small he felt whenever Jaemin was mentioned. How uneasy he was every time Jeno let his guard down because he couldn’t do the same. How out of depth he felt with the growing affection between them. 

“I’m not saying it was completely meaningless to me,” Renjun tried to calm down, because one of them had to in this situation. “I just don’t know how it would work. Like, you met the love of your life when you were eighteen and it still didn’t work…”

“Injun-ah…” Jeno tried to cut in impatiently.

“Let me finish,” Renjun sighed. Jeno shut his mouth right away. “We only knew each other for a month, and it was easy to get carried away when we spend so much time together.”

“Do you think we’re teenagers?” Jeno scoffed.

“Well, I won’t be living here forever,” Renjun shrugged.

“You want to move out?” Jeno blurted out with pain.

“Hyung, I have a life outside of this house,” Renjun snorted and regretted it right away when he saw the obvious hurt on Jeno’s face. He quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, it’s petty of me.”

Jeno sighed exasperatedly and turned away from him, taking a second before asking, “Can we put a pin on this? I need time to think.”

“Sure…” Renjun nodded, even if he was taken aback by how abrupt he ended the conversation. When Jeno got up and started to step away from the sofa, he was suddenly gripped with fear as he remembered how Jeno tend to clam up and give him the cold shoulder when he was overwhelmed.

“Hyung, you’re not going to ignore me again, right?” Renjun asked. Jeno’s anger that already started to melt away came back again, evident in the way he was frowning. His hand balled up into a fist as if he was holding himself back.

“No, what the fuck?” Jeno snorted.

“You tend to do that,” Renjun shrugged, completely aware that it would make Jeno got all worked up again. Maybe he wanted him to.

“And you always ready to talk? You won't even admit you have feelings for me,” Jeno glowered in disbelief.

“You haven’t either!” Renjun snapped.

“Well, yeah, in case it wasn’t clear, I’m in love with you!” Jeno’s raw emotions just burst out of him all at once. His voice cracked with a catch on his throat. Renjun’s own eyes welled up immediately and the next thing he knew he was bawling into his hand.

“Me too, hyung. Fuck. You know how much I care about you,” Renjun stumbled upon his words, stuttering between his sobs. He didn’t expect it would this painful when they finally confessed their feelings to each other. 

“But it’s not enough, is it? You’re going to leave me anyway,” Jeno spat. “Fuck, you kept doing this, this, going back and forth and I’m tired of it. I’m not going to beg you to stay if you don’t want to be here. The door is right there.” 

Jeno stormed away, stomping on the staircase and slammed his door upstairs. It shouldn’t hurt so much, really. Because Renjun got what he wanted. He got his exit, and he didn’t even have to talk about it. Jeno was the one who show him the door.

The thought of leaving filled him with dread, but he couldn’t stay either—not when he could only do it half-heartedly, not when Jeno practically told him to leave. He rushed upstairs to fetch his essentials—mainly laptop and phone charger, before literally ran out of the house. If he cried while he walked all the way to bus stop, it was nobody’s business but his own.

*

Two hours later, Renjun found himself in a street stall, alone and pathetically drunk. He had been ignoring the buzz of his phone, announcing angry texts from Jeno. He knew he deserved it for disappearing without a word, but he just couldn’t handle dealing with it right now.

Maybe he should go home instead of wandering inside this stall. He was supposed to transfer to another bus to get to his neighborhood when this stall caught his eyes across the street. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure where he was. Maybe Donghyuck could help him, after all he was a born-and-bred Seoulite.

“Yes, why?” Donghyuck’s answer was impatient, as if he was in the middle of something.

“Yah, I’m drunk and I don’t know where I am,” Renjun said.

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck sounded worried.

“I got into a fight with Jeno and I took a bus home, then I found this stall on the way and now I’m here,” Renjun giggled.

“A stall?” Donghyuck repeated carefully. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded even though Donghyuck couldn’t see him.

“Fuck, I’m in the middle of a shooting, I can’t come get you,” Donghyuck cursed. “Where’s the stall?”

“I told you I don’t know!” Renjun scoffed.

“Give your phone to the stall owner,” Donghyuck said sharply. Renjun looked around and saw the said lady behind the counter, preparing a meal for another customer. Renjun got up from his seat and walked over to her.

“Ahjumma, my friend wants to talk to you,” Renjun said. The lady looked up to him, clicked her tongue in disapproval and took the phone. Renjun watched her face while he talked to Donghyuck. She reminded him of his mom, with her brash tone when she speaks and no-nonsense attitude. He missed her. Maybe he should call her.

“Wait for your friend to come get you.” The owner gave Renjun his phone back.

“Yes, thank you,” Renjun grinned before going back to his table. With his phone in his hand, he couldn’t resist opening Jeno’s texts and read them one by one.

Lee Jeno

>I can’t believe you really left without talking to me

>Fuck

>How could you do this to me?

>I told you I love you and your first reaction was get the fuck out?

>You’re really not going to answer?

>Okay

Needless to say, it made Renjun felt awful and he started to cry again. He downed the rest of his soju before slumping on the table, passing out.

*

Renjun woke up with a jolt. His head hurt and the content of his stomach rose to his throat, threatening to come out. He wasn’t in Jeno’s house, or even his own little room. He was in somebody’s living room, sleeping on the sofa, and still wearing the clothes from last night. It took a minute before he realized he was in Kun’s apartment.

The nausea wouldn’t go away, so he got out of the sofa and ran to the bathroom. He threw up into the toilet, heaving with cold sweat. A warm hand pat him in the back as he slumped on the floor.

“Come on, let’s make you some tea,” Kun helped him get up and gently led him back to the sofa.

“How did I get here?” Renjun asked as he watched Kun bustled in the kitchen, filling up a kettle and set it on the stove.

“Donghyuck called me last night, asking for me to pick you up in a street stall. Apparently, you called him, but he had a shooting out of town. So, I came and get you. You passed out on the sofa as soon as we get back,” Kun answered.

The memory from last night came back one by one. How he lowkey cried on the bus, how he found a street stall near the bus stop where he was supposed to transfer to another bus, how he got drunk as early as seven in the evening because it was better than having to deal with the aftermath of his and Jeno’s fight.

“I’m so sorry,” Renjun groaned into his hands.

“It’s fine,” Kun smiled kindly. “Do you want some toast? You need to eat something.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Renjun got up to help in the kitchen. He took over the kettle and seeped the tea in while Kun fried some egg and sausages. They had their breakfast in silence, mostly because Renjun was too embarrassed to say anything.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what happened?” Kun finally asked. Renjun grimaced sheepishly.

“You remember the scriptwriter I’m working with?” Renjun started slowly. Kun nodded. “We’re, like, involved…”

“Involved?” Kun raised his eyebrows. “Did you hook up with him?”

“It’s a little bit more than that…” Renjun sighed, before correcting himself, “It’s a lot more than that, actually.”

Kun hummed knowingly and sipped his tea, waiting for Renjun to elaborate. So, without going into too much details, Renjun told him about what was going on between him and Jeno, about their fight last night. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with him?” Kun asked gently. “You were crying when I found you, Renjun, asking for him.”

“I don’t know…” Renjun groaned. The conclusion of their fight felt inevitable but after crying and drinking himself to oblivion, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“You know, it doesn’t have to be now or never. It’s fine if you need time to think,” Kun advised him calmly. “But you need to tell him clearly, don’t bail on him like this.”

“But he’s the one who told me to leave!” Renjun tried to defend himself, annoyed that Kun wasn’t on his side.

“What did he say exactly?” Kun asked.

“He said, he won’t beg for me to stay, I should leave if I don’t want to be there,” Renjun replied with a pout.

“It sounded a lot like he wanted you to stay, though,” Kun shrugged. “He gave you a choice and you chose to leave.”

It wasn’t fun, to get his shit called out like this, but Renjun took it without a fight. He knew Kun was right. His survival instinct kicked in on the first sign of trouble. It wasn’t the first time he did this and Jeno wasn’t the first victim of his reckless decision.

“Did you talk to him before you left?” Kun asked. Renjun shook his head. “Because your phone kept ringing last night. I think it was him.”

Renjun only remembered to check his phone. Almost a dozen of texts and calls from Jeno, Mark and Donghyuck. Donghyuck let him know Kun was coming and told him to call in the morning, while Mark asked him where he was and if he didn’t answer, he was going to ask Donghyuck. Renjun ignored both of them. He opened Jeno’s texts last. Hours after Jeno sent his last text, he sent a voice note.

“Injun-ah,” Jeno whispered out of his phone’s speaker. His words slurred like he was drunk, strained like he was crying. “Where are you?”

Renjun muted his phone immediately, embarrassed to air his private business in front of Kun.

“Call him, alright?” Kun suggested, patting his shoulder.

“Okay, I will,” Renjun muttered sheepishly.

Renjun didn’t call though, even after he went back to his place hours later, even after he washed up and changed into clean clothes. He couldn’t stand being alone in such a small space, so he went out and saw a movie. When the credits rolled in, he only realized he had no idea what the movie was about. He just stared at the screen dazedly, too distracted to pay attention.

The thought of going back to his room filled him with dread, so he called Donghyuck, asking him if he wanted to hang out. Donghyuck said he would meet him in his place.

When Renjun arrived, Donghyuck was already sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading toward his room, drowning in his heavy padded coat.

“You look awful,” Donghyuck commented as soon as he saw him.

“I feel awful too,” Renjun deadpanned before unlocking his door to let Donghyuck in. His friend took off his coat and turned on the heater before burying himself under the blanket.

“Your place is so fucking cold,” Donghyuck complained.

“I know,” Renjun sighed. It felt even more apparent after the warmth and comfortable room he got in Jeno’s house. Now that he got half his script money, he probably should look for a better room to rent. 

“I miss Jeno’s house,” Renjun murmured as he slipped under the blanket with Donghyuck.

“Only his house?” Donghyuck teased, making Renjun snorted in response.

“So?” Donghyuck asked after a while. “What happened?”

“Me and Jeno hooked up,” Renjun answered, even though the word felt inadequate. Because what happened between him and Jeno was too gentle and intimate to be called a hookup, because there were definitely feelings involved. 

“And?” Donghyuck prodded. Renjun didn’t hold back and told him every little detail, every words Jeno said. What he didn’t tell was how desperate he was for Jeno or how he wanted Jeno to hold him during sex. In fact, he would rather die than tell anyone about that.

“Well, fuck,” Donghyuck mumbled after Renjun finished talking.

“I know,” Renjun sighed.

“Fuck Jeno, actually. Why is he pressuring you into a relationship?” Donghyuck grumbled.

“I mean, I get where he came from…” Renjun started.

“Yeah, well, not everyone works it out with their first love and get to be together for ten years. The rest of us had to make do with hookups and terrible dates,” Donghyuck scoffed.

“To be honest, if I’m as lucky as them, I would be optimistic about relationships too,” Renjun sighed.

“Yah, I’m taking your side right now, why are you defending him?” Donghyuck raised his eyebrows. Renjun laughed weakly. Really, only Donghyuck could make him laugh in this situation.

They didn’t talk for a while. The silence made his mind wandered, to when Jeno and him met for the first time, how awkward they were, then how easy it was for them to fall into a more comfortable rapport.

He couldn’t point out exactly when their platonic relationship turned into something more, when touching each other became as natural as breathing, when the attraction got too strong to deny. Maybe the seed was always there and they both nurtured it until it grew into what it was today.

And just like that, Renjun got his answer. It was right in front of him the whole time, he was just too caught up in his head to notice.

“I think I actually love him,” Renjun finally confessed in a low voice, staring at the ceiling because he was too embarrassed to look at Donghyuck as he said it.

Donghyuck didn’t answer, letting the words sink in instead. Renjun wanted to take them back and buried it six feet underground so it would never be seen again, but it was too late for that.

Renjun probably knew for a while already, but he couldn’t admit it, not even to himself. Now that the words were out there, it took roots and came to live in a way that he had no power to stop.

“Well, he said he loves you too,” Donghyuck said, just as quietly. The words sent a catch in Renjun’s throat, a twinge in his heart.

“Do you think he’s worth it?” Donghyuck asked next, gently.

“Maybe,” Renjun whispered, choking up with his own feelings.

“The fact that you actually believe he loves you probably already answer that for you.” Donghyuck said. 

Renjun couldn’t stop his tears from falling as soon as he realized that, yeah, obviously, he wanted to be with Jeno. How could he even think he would be able to go on living as if nothing happened between them? He probably would regret it for the rest of his life if he would ever let him go like this.

Donghyuck patted his head until he could get himself together just enough to said, “I think I have to go see him, Donghyuck-ah.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck nodded. “Do you want me to drive you? I brought my dad’s car here.”

“No, it’s fine…” Renjun shook his head. “I’ll take the bus. I need time to think anyway.”

Donghyuck nodded and got up to leave. He put on his coat and just waved his hand dismissively when Renjun thanked him quietly.

“Let me know what happens, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good luck,” Donghyuck smiled before he stepped out of the room. Renjun didn’t waste any time to pack his stuff and wore his coat again.

He still didn’t know what to say to Jeno or whether Jeno would even let him into his house, but he needed to try anyway. Maybe that was the whole point of starting a relationship, keep trying to make it work. 

Renjun still wasn’t sure about relationships in general, but he was sure about Jeno and he thought it was as good a reason to change his mind as any.


	7. Ending Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, the last chapter. I want to thank everyone who read this piece of fiction, who keep leaving me lovely comments and who stay until the end. I'm grateful, truly.
> 
> This one really got longer than I expected and by now, frankly, I just want to get it over with 😂. I'm so sorry this final chapter took longer than usual. I don't know how to end it basically, but then, as soon as I started writing, it kept getting longer and longer to the point I just have to stop myself.
> 
> I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy this one as well. Cheers!

The cold wind welcoming Renjun outside was sobering. He kept his head down, he huddled into himself and walked to the bus stop. After he settled inside the bus, warmed by the heater under the seat, he pulled up his phone and texted Jeno.

Renjun

>I’m sorry for disappearing on you

>I’m coming to your house if that’s okay

>Let’s talk

Jeno read the message right away, as if he was waiting for his text all this time, but no answer came for a long time. Renjun didn’t let it bother him. It was fine even if Jeno turned him away at his doorstep. He should show up anyway.

His phone finally chimed with an answer from Jeno only a few minutes before the bus came to a halt at his stop. He almost dropped his phone in his haste to read it. The text only contained one word. _Okay._

Renjun sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. He got off the bus and walked uphill toward Jeno’s house. His calm started to falter the second he took a turn to Jeno’s street. The wooden gate in front of his house looked especially imposing today. He took a deep breath and pressed the button on the intercom.

“Hi, hyung,” Renjun said, as nonchalant as he could manage.

“Hi,” Jeno replied. He didn’t show his face on the screen. Nothing in his voice indicated the state of his emotion either. He opened the gate without another word and Renjun strolled inside after muttering thanks.

Jeno was sitting at the sofa in the living room when Renjun came in, nursing a cup of coffee. He looked up to Renjun, giving him a tight smile before gesturing for him to sit beside him.

Jeno was wearing his glasses, but his puffy eyes were still clearly visible. He always looked like that if he didn’t have enough sleep, though, so Renjun didn’t dare to make any conclusion for himself.

“Do you want to talk first?” Renjun asked.

“No, you start,” Jeno cocked his head toward him. So, how this was going to be. Jeno was pissed and he wanted Renjun to do all the work to make amends.

“I’m sorry I left without saying anything,” Renjun apologized one more time. Jeno’s expression softened a little, but he still wouldn’t say anything. “When we talked before, I felt like you were rushing us so much. You wanted me to figure out things I didn’t even know the answer myself. It was just overwhelming, to say the least.”

“So, you chose to leave?” Jeno deadpanned.

“I needed time to think,” Renjun corrected him.

“You could have just said so,” Jeno said curtly.

“I would if you didn’t yell at me,” Renjun scoffed.

Renjun was determined to have a calm conversation, but Jeno really made this difficult, with all this snarky answer and the blatant glare he sent his way. Renjun didn’t have enough patience for this. Jeno was usually the calmer one, but he was still too riled up to talk in a calm manner.

“Do you even want to be with me?” Jeno asked. Renjun jerked up his head to look at him in the eyes in total disbelief. Jeno tilted his chin up in defiance, doubling down on his doubt instead.

“Of course! How could you even ask that?” Renjun frowned.

“Well, you certainly don’t make it easy for me to believe you,” Jeno snorted.

“I wouldn’t react this strongly if I don’t want to be with you, hyung. You have to know that,” Renjun murmured.

“What are you so scare about, then? Do you not trust me?” Jeno asked. “Do you think I would hurt you?”

Renjun probably should have started being completely honest with Jeno. No more talking in circle and hoping Jeno could read between the lines. Jeno needed the assurance and Renjun desperately wanted to give it to him.

“Yeah, a little,” Renjun admitted. When Jeno obviously looked stricken, Renjun hurriedly added, “I don’t mean it that way. You always treat me so kindly. You’re a good person, I have no doubt about that.

“But when we first met, you were clearly still hung up on your ex and you did date him for ten years. We only knew each other for a month, so it’s hard for me to believe that whatever feelings you have for me was deep enough for us to start a serious relationship.”

“Injun-ah, I thought I explained this to you already…” Jeno said hastily.

“You asked me why I’m scared, I’m telling you the reason,” Renjun said. “You can’t expect all my reservations about you to disappear after we talk about it only once.”

Renjun didn’t want to be bitter, but it came out harsher that he intended it to be. Unexpectedly, Jeno took it in stride and nodded in resignation.

“I understand,” he said. “As long as you know how I feel about you and how serious I am about you.”

“I do,” Renjun quickly nodded. “I want to trust you, hyung. I want to try to make this work.”

“Me too,” Jeno smiled for the first time tonight. A rush of relief suddenly coursed through Renjun. He didn’t realize he was so tense before Jeno broke the ice between them, but he felt like he could breathe easier now.

“So how slow do you want to go?” Jeno asked lightly, as if they were discussing the next scene to write. “How fast is too fast?”

“I’m not going to move here for good, hyung,” Renjun had to put his foot down for this. “After the first draft is done, I’m going back to my place.”

“But you live so far,” Jeno frowned.

“Well, it’s your fault to live in the middle of nowhere,” Renjun shrugged. Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Okay,” Jeno sighed. “We are dating exclusively, though, right? I don’t do open relationship or whatever you kids do these days.”

Renjun burst out laughing at the comment. “You sound so old, hyung.”

“Well?” Jeno raised his eyebrows, ignoring his teasing.

“Yes, of course,” Renjun chuckled.

At this point, they slightly turned their body toward each other, much more relaxed than before. Their eyes met and they both lingered for a while, before Jeno raised his hand to touch Renjun’s face.

“Can I?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun quickly nodded, eyes flitted close as Jeno leaned closer to seal their relationship with a kiss. Just a gentle bruise to the lips, languid and sweet. 

“You know I always avoid getting serious with a guy before this,” Renjun remarked wistfully.

“Because of your first love?” Jeno asked.

“No, even before that,” Renjun murmured. “Did I tell you my parents got divorced?”

“No,” Jeno replied sympathetically.

“They did when I was ten. It wasn’t pretty, to say the least. It scarred me for life, I think, seeing them fighting every day,” Renjun shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno furrowed his eyebrows.

“Me too,” Renjun chuckled wryly. “So, you get why I’m not as optimistic about relationships like you, hyung.”

Jeno scoffed before telling him, “I’m not optimistic either, Injun-ah. I know it won’t be perfect or easy. I just think you’re worth trying.”

Jeno really said that with his whole chest, without any hesitation. Renjun snorted to hide how flustered he was, but Jeno wasn’t fooled. He put his hand on top of Renjun’s, intertwining their fingers together. Renjun bowed down and leaned his forehead on top of their hands, sighing softly.

“Thank you,” Renjun whispered.

“For what?” Jeno asked.

“Everything,” Renjun answered. Jeno patted his head gently and Renjun tried his hardest no to cry—because he shed enough tears these past few days already.

“Are you crying?” Jeno teased.

“No,” Renjun snorted, finally showing his face just so Jeno wouldn’t tease him again. Jeno wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

“Why?” Renjun asked.

“Talk to me when you feel overwhelmed next time, yeah? Don’t disappear on me,” Jeno murmured while stroking Renjun’s cheek gently.

“Okay,” Renjun nodded.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you last night. I’ll try to not lose my temper like that again.”

“It’s fine, I get it…” Renjun shook his head.

“It’s not fine, okay? Don’t ever let anyone treat you like that again, even if it was me,” Jeno looked at him in the eyes to emphasize his point.

“Okay…” Renjun smiled to assure him. They were sitting so close now, Renjun could see all his moles, his long eyelashes, every tiny detail that made up his face. Maybe Renjun was a little biased, but they were all beautiful, down to all his imperfections. 

He take off Jeno's glasses gently and put them on top of the table. When he turned to see Jeno, it was clear what was going to happen. He didn’t know who started it, maybe they both did. Their lips met and this time they didn’t hold back. Renjun parted his lips open and Jeno immediately slid his tongue in. He pressed their body closer, tilting his head to kiss him deeper.

Renjun couldn’t hold their weight any longer, finally let Jeno pushed him until he lay on his back, moaning as Jeno climbed on top of him. They stayed like that, just nipping the other’s lips, lightly grinding against each other, until the kisses turned gentler and the touches became softer.

“Have you had dinner?” Jeno murmured against Renjun’s neck. Renjun shook his head, realizing he hadn’t eaten anything since morning. He slipped away from Jeno so he could get up to check the fridge. It was unexpectedly full of side dishes in containers.

“I went to my parents’ today,” Jeno explained when Renjun threw him a questioning look. “It’s my mom’s birthday.”

“Oh…” Renjun mumbled awkwardly, unsure whether he should say anything about it.

“Just heat up the braised beef if you’re hungry,” Jeno told him. Renjun nodded and took out one of the containers. He had just enough food to stop his stomach from grumbling, but not too much since he wanted to sleep right away, too tired to do anything else.

“Sleepy?” Jeno said when Renjun yawned for the third time while he washed the dishes.

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep much last night,” Renjun chuckled. He told him what happened, making Jeno narrowed his eyes with disapproval.

“You’re lucky your friend is so nice,” Jeno snorted.

“Kun-ge is my family at this point,” Renjun shrugged. “We, foreigners, only have each other here, so we stick together.”

“Well, you have me now,” Jeno grinned. It was unnerving how casual he was about throwing around those kinds of words. It would take a while before he could stop being flustered every time Jeno said something like that.

“Yeah,” Renjun smiled to himself. “I do.”

“Sleep with me,” Jeno suggested while they walked up the stairs, ready to call it a night.

“I’m tired, hyung,” Renjun whined.

“I meant, literally sleeping, Injun-ah,” Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Renjun chuckled. “Okay.”

So, Renjun changed into his pajamas and snuggled under Jeno’s thick and fluffy duvet, watching Jeno drying his face after washing up and putting on his moisturizer.

“The pillow smells like you,” Renjun said.

“Yeah? What do I smell like?” Jeno asked, glancing at him through the mirror.

“I don’t know, but you smell nice,” Renjun murmured.

Jeno chuckled as he approached the bed and lay down beside him. He turned to his side so he could face Renjun.

“Do you want to cuddle?” Jeno asked. Renjun shook his head right away.

“Would it be too hot?” Renjun thought out loud.

“It’s winter,” Jeno said incredulously.

“Later, then,” Renjun grinned. “I want to see you while we talk.”

“Do you still want to talk?” Jeno raised his eyebrows.

“I want to confess something,” Renjun said.

“What?” Jeno looked apprehensive.

“I found Jaemin on Instagram a few weeks ago. He still has your photos in his page, so I know it's the same Jaemin,” Renjun told him sheepishly. “I also know where he works. Donghyuck’s friend worked with him in a drama before.”

Jeno grimaced, obviously dreaded the topic. “This is why I don’t have any social media account.”

“I kinda wish I didn’t, honestly,” Renjun murmured. “It only made me feel bad.”

“It’s all in the past with Jaemin. You know that.”

“I know now.”

“Come here,” Jeno sighed as he gathered Renjun closer, letting Renjun rested his head on his chest. “While we’re confessing, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did something ever happen between you and Yukhei?” Jeno asked hastily, as if the question had been on the tip of his tongue all this time.

“Yeah, we made out once,” Renjun answered honestly. Jeno didn’t even hide his scowl, utterly unimpressed. “Probably six months ago. It was the first time it happened, mostly because we were drunk.”

“And nothing changed between you two after that?”

“Not really,” Renjun shrugged. “We’re still friends.”

“Even if he’s attracted to you?” Jeno sounded doubtful. Renjun looked up to him.

“Even if he is, it’s just about sex, hyung. He wasn’t in love with me or anything like that,” Renjun assured him. “Besides, we rarely meet anyway. He lives in Hong Kong, remember?”

“Right…” Jeno muttered. His eyebrows still furrowed a little, like he didn’t understand about something.

“What? Something still bothers you?” Renjun asked.

“I just don’t get how you kiss a friend, and it didn’t immediately get weird between you two,” Jeno said it so innocently, Renjun had to physically stop himself from chuckling.

“It just happened sometimes, hyung,” Renjun quipped casually.

“Like, I can’t imagine kissing Mark. It would be so weird?”

“Well, Yukhei wasn’t like my _best friend_. We’re not that close. We just hang out together sometimes, so it’s easy to shake it off as a drunken mistake.”

“I never did that sort of thing, you know. So, it’s hard for me to understand.”

“You don’t miss a thing,” Renjun scoffed. “Hookup culture is rather fucked up, if you ask me.”

“Glad you won’t have to do that anymore,” Jeno hummed and caressed his hair absentmindedly as Renjun snuggled up to him. He relaxed with a sigh, let Jeno’s delicate touches soothe him to sleep.

*

“And we’re done,” Jeno said as he typed the last word on the last scene.

“Should we send it to Mark?” Jeno suggested. Renjun nodded to encourage him. Jeno emailed the file to Mark, cc’ing Renjun and Johnny before clicking the send button.

Renjun let out a deep sigh as he watched behind his back, half wistful, half relieved. They really had finished the first draft. Renjun leaned his head on Jeno’s shoulder and he reached over to pat his head gently.

“Good job, babe,” Jeno murmured.

“You too, hyung,” Renjun slung his arms around Jeno’s shoulders and pressed his lips on his neck. He could feel Jeno shivered under his touch.

“Want to fuck to celebrate?” Jeno proposed. Renjun snickered with amusement.

“Sure,” Renjun huffed. Jeno turned around so fast and tugged him in so their lips could fit into each other in a heated kiss. Renjun opened his mouth pliantly, immediately parted his legs to give Jeno some space to work around.

“God, you’re so easy for me, it’s maddening,” Jeno whispered. Renjun moaned into his mouth just to feed into Jeno’s ego, making him groaned with desire.

“My room or yours?” Jeno asked.

“My room is closer,” Renjun replied. Jeno grabbed both his waist and hoist him up so he could carry him to his room. Renjun instinctively wrapped all his limbs around him.

Jeno put Renjun down gently on the bed, stripped him slowly to tease him, stealing kisses between every piece of clothing, until he was writhing under him, flushed red and hard from want.

“Hyung, I want to ride you,” Renjun said.

“Really?” Jeno keened, grinning until his eyes disappeared into two lines.

“Take this off,” Renjun tugged on his shirt. Jeno happily obliged, taking off his shirt, pants and boxer quickly, before laying down on his back so Renjun could straddle him.

One of the good things to have regular sex with a boyfriend was Renjun didn’t really need to prepare each time, he found out. He could let Jeno filled him up in a moment’s notice now and it felt marvelous each time. It didn’t hurt that Jeno had endless patience with him, always taking care of him and made sure he had a good time—too good of a time sometimes.

Making love, he also found out, was the best thing ever. Renjun had good fucks before, but nothing beat looking into Jeno’s eyes as he lost himself in pleasure or crashing their lips together as Jeno fell apart on top of him. 

Renjun leaned down to kiss him breathless, sliding Jeno’s length between his cheeks, before riding him nice and slow, filling the room with the sound of their sinful pleasure.

When they could keep their hands to themselves long enough, they took a long nap, curling into each other for warmth. It was well into the afternoon when they finally rose from the slumber and whipped out some food for their late lunch. Jeno opened a bottle of wine afterward, as they lounged in the living room.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving soon,” Jeno said sorrowfully after two glasses of wine. “What am I going to do without you?”

“Don’t be dramatic, hyung. You can see me anytime,” Renjun scoffed. “You need to get out more anyway.”

“You really won’t move in here?”

Renjun threw a glance at him exasperatedly, but Jeno wouldn’t budge, still pouting as if Renjun would change his mind if he asked hard enough.

“It’s just…” Renjun sighed and put down his glass.

“What?” Jeno raised his eyebrows.

“Let me think first,” Renjun said, because he really wanted to do this right. His tendency to say whatever on his mind impulsively often backfired on him. He couldn’t just babble around and hurt Jeno in the process.

“I paused my life to come here and work with you. I stepped into your life, your space. It’s all yours. This house is yours, even the story was yours before,” Renjun tried his best to explain carefully. “It was fine when we were just working together, but it’s a different story when we’re dating, hyung.

“I have to be my own person outside of this house if we want to make this work. I need to live my life, have my own space, or else I lose myself to cater to you. I hope you get where I’m coming from.”

Renjun knew it sounded harsh, but Jeno needed to know the implication of his request. Renjun couldn’t move into his house so early in the relationship just because it was convenient, or worse because Jeno asked him to. He already put Jeno on a pedestal when it came to work, he didn’t need to do it in their relationship too.

“God, I keep rushing you even when you’ve explicitly asked me not to, huh?” Jeno rubbed his forehead, frustrated with himself.

“Yeah, kinda,” Renjun shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno took his hand and planted a kiss on the back of his hand. A sudden rush of affection coarse through him, for how easily Jeno adjusted himself for him. A lot of men would have a hard time doing that, but never Jeno.

“I know you didn’t mean it like that,” Renjun said gently, because he knew it was true. Jeno’s love languages are quality time and physical touches. It simply made sense to him to want to keep Renjun around as much as he could and living together was the obvious answer.

“Yeah, I just want to see you every day like this,” Jeno chuckled weakly.

“I’m not saying it’s completely out of the question, but not now. It’s too soon,” Renjun said, coaxing a smile out of Jeno. He nodded solemnly as he squeezed Renjun’s hand for assurance.

“I understand,’ He nodded. Renjun caressed his cheek before leaning in to kiss his smile, light and easy. Jeno hummed and tilted his head to deepen the kiss, but Renjun drew back. Jeno chased after his lips, but he turned his head away.

“Later,” He said.

“Why?” Jeno whined.

“Let’s watch something,” Renjun turned on the television. Jeno snuggled closer, hooking his chin on Renjun’s shoulder while he tried to choose a film to watch. Renjun just straight up ignored him even when Jeno stared at him so intently.

Renjun chose the first film he saw on the Netflix page. A generic romantic comedy starring a somewhat familiar actress.

“Injun-ah…” Jeno called in a deeper voice than usual.

“Alright,” Renjun finally caved after only a mere minute. Jeno giggled as he pressed his lips on Renjun’s neck. He threw his head back to give Jeno easier access. Jeno climbed on top of him in no time and pushed him toward the sofa, until he lay on his back.

The film kept playing, forgotten in the background.

*

“Is this all?” Jeno took Renjun’s suitcase while Renjun looked around the room one more to double check if he left anything.

“Yeah,” Renjun nodded. Jeno left the room right away, carrying his suitcase downstairs and into his car, but Renjun took his time getting down. It felt melancholic to leave the house he had been living in a month, where he and Jeno built the foundation of their relationship. He had to remind himself that he could visit anytime he wants—Jeno would encourage it, for sure.

“Ready?” Jeno asked when Renjun stepped out to the terrace. He smiled wistfully and looked back inside one more time.

“You can come again anytime,” Jeno said, as if he could read Renjun’s mind. Renjun chuckled and nodded. Maybe he was being too obvious.

Renjun got into the car without looking back and Jeno drove him back to his place. It was hard to not feeling small when Renjun led Jeno back toward his semi basement room. The entire building looked especially crummy now that he brought Jeno with him.

The room was small, probably only as big as Jeno’s kitchen. No well-designed furniture, no soft velvety linen. The little decorations he had was bought from random online store or Ikea, mostly.

Jeno didn’t comment on the room, but he did look around in great interest, eager to learn every little detail of Renjun’s life, even when Renjun was obviously embarrassed by it. He stopped in front of the desk, staring at the photos of friends and family Renjun stuck above it.

“Your mom?” Jeno pointed at the Renjun and Mom’s photo one of the rare trips they took before her second marriage.

“Yes,” Renjun nodded.

“You look like her,” Jeno murmured. He did. He looked just like her. Everyone always said so.

Jeno leaned closer to a photo of Renjun and his Chinese friends on Kun and Sicheng’s graduation day. Everyone was still around at that time, all smiling to the camera. Renjun pointed their faces one by one to tell Jeno their names and who were still living in Seoul.

They planned to just sit down for a while before going out for lunch, but Renjun made the mistake of letting Jeno kissed him and only ten minutes later, he was on his knees on the bed with his face buried on the pillow to muffle the sound of his moan as Jeno fucked him from behind.

“Why are you so quiet?” Jeno teased, already used to how loud Renjun was on bed.

“I can’t be too loud, ah—” Renjun whined breathlessly on a particularly hard thrust. “My neighbor will complain.”

Renjun’s bed already creaked noisily in protest of their relentless movements. He couldn’t yell Jeno’s name when he was about to come on top of it. When he did reach his high, he only gasped quietly, sighing as Jeno finished all over his ass.

Renjun had to skip lunch so he could meet Donghyuck on time. They agreed to be roommates, now that Donghyuck finally had enough saving to move out of his parents’ house. Today, they officially started hunting for a place to rent. Between the two of them, they could afford a much more comfortable apartment in a decent neighborhood.

They managed to look at four apartments which none of them liked before Donghyuck had to leave for an audition. Renjun visited the last apartment alone with the agent, who somehow still cheerfully listing the facilities and amenities of the place. Unlike the others before, the apartment was still lived in, the agent said. The current tenant was looking to move out within the month.

“He’s moving in with his partner, he said,” The agent winked like she was sharing a secret with Renjun before opening the room for him. It probably was.

The apartment was lovely, perfect size for him and Donghyuck. It sat on the fifth floor, facing a public park nearby, so the view was unusually full of green for a sprawling city like Seoul. It also helped that the room looked positively alive with actual furniture and personal belongings. The current tenant had great taste in decorating, making the room felt warm and vibrant.

He swept his gaze around the painting and trinkets on the wall. Between the arts, there are photos of real people, maybe the tenant with his friends. He leaned closer to look at the faces. His heart skipped a beat when he found Jaemin’s face in all of them.

“Fuck,” Renjun muttered under his breath. Of all people, Renjun thought with disbelief, of all apartment in Seoul, he really had to visit Jaemin’s. Life could be so funny sometimes.

“What’s wrong?” The agent asked.

“Nothing,” Renjun chuckled nervously. Honestly, he just wanted to escape the room, but he didn’t want to alarm the agent. So, he pretended to look around some more.

“Do you want to see the bedroom?” The agent asked.

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Renjun shook his head immediately.

“It’s fine, the tenant wouldn’t mind,” she opened the bedroom door so Renjun could take a look. He caved and peeked inside. The room was fine, less decorated than the living room, but still looked cozy enough. The smaller bedroom was a little messier, with posters of artists Renjun knew nothing about.

“The tenant lives here with his brother,” The agent helpfully explained.

Honestly, if this apartment didn’t belong to Jaemin, Renjun would take it in a heartbeat. Also, now that he thought about it, Renjun wouldn’t even need to talk to Jaemin before renting this apartment and Jaemin wouldn’t have to find out.

Maybe he should let Donghyuck decide. He took a lot of pictures around the room to send it to him, trying hard to make the photos looked pretty.

“You seem to like this one?” The agent tried to coax him to admit.

“Yeah, but I need to ask my friend first,” Renjun grinned.

“If he wants to visit this room later just let me know,” The agent offered happily. “I hope I’ll hear good news from you two.”

Renjun nodded and they both finally walking toward the door, ready to leave. Then, the telltale sound of the keycode being punched in came out of the door lock. Renjun froze in place with his heart on his throat. The door was opened and Jaemin stepped in hastily.

Even in his current state of panic, Renjun couldn’t help thinking that Jaemin looked even better in person. Tall and slim, with warm eyes and a friendly smile, almost day and night compared to Renjun’s own petite stature and cold demeanor.

“Oh,” Jaemin saw the agent, surprised. “Sorry, I just need to grab something.”

“It’s okay, we’re already leaving,” she shook her head right away.

It was fine, Renjun convinced himself. Jaemin couldn’t possibly know who Renjun was. He just needed to keep his head down and leave. He didn’t even have to say anything to Jaemin.

“How do you like it?” Jaemin asked, startling Renjun. He didn’t expect Jaemin would talk to him.

“Looks good,” Renjun managed to croak out. Jaemin looked pleased as his smile widened.

“I’m Jaemin, by the way,” Jaemin offered his hand. Renjun had no choice but to shake it. Renjun bowed his head politely and Jaemin followed suit.

“I’m Renjun.”

“Oh, you’re…” Jaemin raised his eyebrows when Renjun mentioned his name.

“Yes, I’m Chinese,” Renjun said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. You looked like a Korean,” Jaemin smiled apologetically.

“It’s fine,” Renjun shook his head. He heard that comment often and it didn’t bother him anymore. Everyone always mistook his as a local, especially because he had no trace of foreign accent when he speaks Korean—that was until they know his name, of course.

“Anyway, I don’t think you can find better place. The location’s great. We have a supermarket, hospital and park nearby.” Renjun couldn’t believe Jaemin really tried to sell it to him.

“Why are you moving out then?” Renjun risked asking.

“My brother is going to school abroad, so there’s no reason for me to rent an apartment this big. Besides, I’m moving to my partner’s place,” Jaemin answered without hesitation.

Renjun admired Jaemin’s nonchalant attitude of speaking about his partner to a stranger. Using the gender-neutral term was a little bit unusual and any observant person could see through it, but Jaemin didn’t seem to care.

“Congratulations,” Renjun nodded because he didn’t know what else to say. Jaemin’s eyes flickered with a recognition of an ally, smiling meaningfully as he threw him a questioning glance. Renjun nodded quietly. Jaemin’s smile widened as he nodded back and patted his shoulder.

Now, Renjun started to feel bad, for knowing who Jaemin was and keeping his mouth shut about it, especially because Jaemin was being very friendly to him. Maybe he should say something about it, just to be polite, at the very least.

“Do you still want to look around, Renjun-ssi?” The agent asked. Renjun shook his head right away. Leaving the apartment so he couldn’t spill anything to Jaemin seemed like a good idea.

“Wait, let’s go down together,” Jaemin said in a hurry.

“Sure,” The agent nodded politely. Jaemin walked up to the kitchen and grabbed a file folder that was left on the counter.

Jaemin and the agent chatted about his apartment on the elevator ride, but Renjun stayed silent. He parted way with both of them in front of the building after promising to stay in touch with her.

While he walked to the train station, his stomach grumbled loudly, and he only remembered he hadn’t had lunch. His eyes stopped at a burger place nearby and he decided to go in. Immediately, he ran into Jaemin who just finished ordering. Damn, the universe really wanted them to talk, huh?

“Oh, hi!” Jaemin greeted him warmly. “Having lunch?”

“Yes,” Renjun nodded sheepishly.

“Do you want to eat together?” Jaemin offered. Renjun didn’t have the heart to say no. He joined Jaemin at his table in the corner with his own meal a few minutes later. Jaemin welcomed him with a big smile, even waiting for him before he started digging in.

“I’m sorry, it’s just rare for me to meet a new gay friend,” Jaemin said, grinning. Renjun couldn’t possibly hide the truth now. Not when Jaemin looked so excited to talk to him.

“I kinda know who you are…” Renjun blurted out before Jaemin could say anything else.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

“I work with Jeno,” Renjun told him, feeding him half-truth because he was a coward. The half assed confession didn’t feel right either. Renjun hid the most important thing, and he couldn’t face Jeno with confident if he doesn’t own up to it.

“No, um…” Renjun took a deep breath to gather some strength. “I’m dating Jeno, actually.”

“Oh…” Jaemin’s smile faltered with surprised.

“I’m sorry, you’re being so nice and I just can’t…” Renjun felt bad right away.

“Wow,” Jaemin exclaimed in disbelief, awkwardly avoiding Renjun’s eyes. “What are the odds?”

“I know,” Renjun wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “I’m sorry if this is weird. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything…”

“No, no, don’t be,” Jaemin shook his head immediately. “I’m just surprised…”

Jaemin take proper look at him, like he just saw him for the first time. Renjun stubbornly stared back, unwilling to back down. Jaemin chuckled easily, taking Renjun by surprise.

“I’m sorry, but you just look so cute,” Jaemin grinned. “I get why Jeno fall for you.”

The casual compliment flustered Renjun so much, mostly because he just didn’t see it coming. Renjun couldn’t hold in the giggles. It was hard to put up a straight face when his cheeks were on fire anyway. The shared laughter set them more at ease, smoothened the conversation that followed.

“So, you work with him too?” Jaemin asked. “Are you a writer?”

“Yes, we’re writing a screenplay together,” Renjun nodded.

“Really?” Jaemin looked surprised.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Renjun asked, couldn’t help feeling defensive.

“It’s just… Jeno doesn’t really like to work with people he doesn’t know. That’s why he just keeps working with his best friend from college,” Jaemin scoffed. The comfortable way Jaemin was talking about Jeno stung a bit, but Renjun wouldn’t let it get to him.

“He wasn’t happy at first,” Renjun admitted. “But we work well now.”

“He must really like you,” Jaemin mused, still unabashedly staring at Renjun. His inquisitive eyes felt more and more unsettling. Not in a creepy or competitive way, just genuine curiosity.

“Can I ask how long it has been, you and Jeno?” Jaemin asked cautiously.

“It’s new, just about a week,” Renjun answered sheepishly.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Jaemin cooed, almost. “He’s doing well, I hope?”

Renjun thought about it for a while. Jeno, who looked so sad when they first met and Jeno, who smiled sweetly as Renjun waved him goodbye before he descended to the subway station this afternoon. What a difference a month could make.

“He is,” Renjun answered, smiling softly. “Better each day, I think.”

Jaemin hummed and finally got back to his meal. They talked about their shared almamater and their work while they ate. Jaemin was so nice and easy to talk to, Renjun genuinely thought in another situation, they could easily be friends. But as they shook hand before they parted, they both knew it would be the last time they see each other.

Was it because he and Jaemin were so different, in look and personality, that Renjun felt no envy or insecurity after seeing and talking to the man, or maybe because Renjun already learned to stop looking back and leave the past behind.

Either way, Renjun felt oddly proud of himself. His steps were lighter as he walked to the train station, whistling all the way.

*

As soon as Mark was free, he came over to Jeno’s house and spent an entire week there to finalize the screenplay. When it was done and Renjun stared at his name under Jeno’s on the printed screenplay for a full minute, couldn’t quite believe that the moment actually arrived.

Renjun called his mom right after, finally letting her know about the film. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her before the screenplay was finished, for fear it would mess up somehow. He couldn’t stand the disappointment if that happened.

“So, you would stay there for good?” Mom asked, still sounded disappointed in one way or another.

“Yeah, I just paid for the deposit of a bigger apartment,” Renjun told her in defiance.

“Not a semi basement room this time?”

“No, it’s on the fifth floor, okay?”

“Good,” Mom said curtly. Renjun didn’t expect much, but he was still disappointed that Mom couldn’t even give him an acknowledgment for his accomplishment.

“Do you think it would be screened here?” Mom asked. She was still trying, at the very least. “Maybe I’ll watch it.”

“I don’t think so, Ma,” Renjun scoffed.

“Why not?”

“It’s a gay love story.”

“Oh.” Mom didn’t say anything for a while. Renjun pushed down the urge to hang up on her.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to watch it,” Renjun assured her—or himself, more likely.

“No, I will. It’s your film. I’ll watch it,” Mom insisted.

“Okay. I don’t know how, but I’ll send the film to you. Maybe in DVD?” Renjun jumped at the chance in case Mom change her mind.

“Sure, I’ll buy a DVD player so I can watch it,” Mom snorted. Renjun laughed, content enough that she was willing to try, even if she hadn’t completely agreed with the idea.

Renjun and Donghyuck moved to their new apartment a week before Christmas. Between the two of them and Jeno, it only took them half a day to finish up. Maybe because none of them had enough furniture yet, except for beds and television.

They decided to go all out for their housewarming party and cook a spread for their friends. Jeno came early to help but he ended up just running errands for them.

When Kun arrived, he took over the side dishes with ease as Renjun started to set the table. It was Christmas Eve, so he decided to be fancy with the decoration. The result was so pretty, Renjun posted it to his Instagram right away.

“Anything else to do?” Jeno asked, settling beside him on the sofa.

“No, just relax, hyung. Drink some wine,” Renjun patted his thigh to assure him before going back to the kitchen and helped Kun cleaning up.

“I’m so glad it works out with Jeno,” Kun whispered to him.

“Me too,” Renjun smiled. “Thank you, ge, for making me get my shit together.”

Kun scoffed and patted his shoulder gently. “Always happy to help out, Renjun.”

Their friends arrived one by one. Chenle and Yangyang came with loads of toilet paper as a joke. Jisung and Jungwoo was running late and brought no gift at all.

Jeno was nervous to meet Renjun’s friends, especially because most of them knew who he was since they all worked in the entertainment industry. Renjun introduced him to each one of them to break the ice, feeling oddly pleased when he said, “This is Lee Jeno, my boyfriend”. They all welcomed him with open arms, though with cheeky grins and jokes.

After everyone gathered around the table, Donghyuck started his speech, thanking them all for coming. It was interrupted when the doorbell rang. Donghyuck rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed. So, Renjun got up to open the door.

“Hi, hyung,” Renjun grinned at Mark who grinned back awkwardly.

“I brought wine,” Mark said, extending the bottles to him. Renjun took them gratefully.

“Oh, thank you! Come on in,” Renjun opened the door wider for him. Donghyuck glared at Renjun when as he led Mark inside. He forgot to tell Donghyuck that he invited Mark. He would suffer for that later, but that was the problem of future Renjun.

“Guys, this is Mark, but you must know him already,” Renjun grinned and gestured at Mark to take a seat beside Jeno.

Their friends exchanged a glance, surprised that Mark Lee himself came to the party. Jeno opened the wine right away and poured it out for everyone. Later, Jeno whispered to Renjun that Mark probably bought the to impress Donghyuck since he usually despised wine.

“So, um, as I was saying,” Donghyuck still looked annoyed about the interruption, but couldn’t contain his excitement about the news he was about to share, “The news would be released tomorrow, so I take it upon myself to tell you guys first, that I got the main role in Mark’s film.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Donghyuck bowed jokingly as his friends rushed to congratulate him.

“Oh, is that Renjun’s film?” Kun asked.

“It’s not mine,” Renjun scoffed.

“It is, babe,” Jeno chuckled beside him. Renjun blushed at the pet name. Jeno rarely even called him that in private.

“Whatever. Let’s toast for the film,” Donghyuck scoffed. They clinked their glasses together and officially started the dinner.

The conversations never really died down while they were digging in. Chenle and Jisung pestered Mark with questions about his film, wide-eyed with wonder as he animatedly explained about how he shot the iconic montage scene in the film. Kun and Jungwoo talked about Jungwoo’s latest fling, giggling obscenely as they did. Donghyuck and Yangyang shared horror stories about their latest auditions, cackling with laughter. Then he glanced at Jeno beside him, still marveling at the fact that they were dating now.

“How is it?” Renjun asked to Jeno as he took a bite of the roast chicken.

“Good,” Jeno nodded right away. “Your cooking is always good.”

They looked at each other for a second, then his eyes flitted down to Renjun’s lips. He already leaned in as if he was about to kiss him, before stopping himself. Renjun chuckled and patted his cheek gently, scooting closer as Jeno rested his hand on the small of his back.

His friends either rolled their eyes or let out an amused chuckle, not used to see Renjun being so affectionate around Jeno. Renjun knew they would tease him later, but he didn’t care. He was happy, tipsy with wine and needy enough to cling to Jeno the whole night.

And hopefully, all the nights to come.

**Author's Note:**

> \--
> 
> As always, say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/faiczn)


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